Friday, 18 September 2009
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Does Immaturity Ever Really End?
I have just started my second year of college. I love my school. The campus is beautiful, the faculty is great and the friends I've made are amazing. The only thing I dislike about my university is the guys (well most of them!) I have always been mature for my age, which kept me from dating many guys in high school. Back then I would watch guys, or should I say boys, do completely stupid stuff and think "Do these guys seriously get girlfriends?" I imagined that when I went off to college I would find a smart, intellectual man who cared more about what his life would be like 5 to 10 years from now instead of next Friday night.
Well as long as I've been here I haven't met one guy like that. Granted, I do go to a school that is known as a "party" school and the majority of students are white kids from wealthy families. While I'm not exactly a minority I definitely do not feel like I'm on the same level as most of my peers when it comes to maturity. Sure, I will go out to a party once in awhile but most of the times I do go out, once I get there I wonder why I ever bothered to come at all. I go hoping that maybe I will meet nice guys, but it seems like all the guys I meet just want the same thing.
Example: A few weeks ago I went to a party with some friends. There is a guy there that I know from class and we sit and have a nice conversation during most of the party. Well eventually I realize that almost everyone has left the party (including my friends who all left at different times and assumed I was with someone else). The only people left are the guy, me and a few of his friends, including the guys who own the house. I don't have my keys or phone because I had put them in a friends purse, so the guy invites me to sleep over at his place. I do, we make out, he drives me home in the morning, and I haven't talked to him since. Okay, so what if he didn't ask for my number? He's not interested, whatever. But the thing is I have seen this guy on several occasions since then and he doesn't even have the courtesy to come up and say hi, wave, anything. Not even a smile in my direction. Isn't it a little immature to completely avoid someone after just one night of making out? Before this happened he would always talk to me or at least say hi...
And this is only one example of the types of guys I have met at college. If you haven't learned to man up by the time you're 21 (that's exaple guys age) then how long does it take? Do guys ever really mature?
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About the Author
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- From: meowmeow
- About Me: 20 yr old college student.
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Comments (28)
Meeting guys at parties won't get you the most mature guy. Why don't you try meeting them other places? If you really want an intellectual guy; study groups, the bookstore or library are great places to start!
As for the guy ignoring you, have you attempted to say hi or smile at HIM first? He may just feel awkward and is unsure of how you have reacted to that night. Or...he's just immature. Try initiating, however, and see how it goes.
Good luck!
You won't find a mature guy. Maturity is rather boring in guys; there's no adventure, no spontaniety, no creativity, and no danger. Some girls may not want any of those. You might find a guy who's more mature than most, but we all have the little spark of childishess in us somewhere.
Maybe he was drunk and doesn't remember making out with you, or maybe he's embarrassed. You should really try dating or getting to know someone and THEN try to start a relationship, instead of just meeting someone at a party, making out with him, and then staying at his house.
@makerm7@xanga - I agree, he may be unsure of things and he's already been contacting you most of the time so he might be conscious of being overbearing. Maybe he wants to see if you'll even talk to him once afterwards.
Guys can't always come to you 100% of the time. They wanna know you're in this, too.
And I find it funny you're questioning their maturity when you went to a party and made out with someone you've had a few conversations with, and talking about how most guys are immature (you just used the phrase 'man up'). Maybe you're just not meeting the right ones, or maybe you're not giving those "nice guys" a chance. Maybe you need to 'woman up'.
you'll meet the right guy sometime.
i know guys like me are out there :)
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - agree~
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - also agreed ^^
s/guy/girl
I dated a guy who acted like he was seventeen and he even hung out with youngsters. He was thirty-five. It really depends on the guy.
You know, people don't go to parties to find meaningful relationships, right?
You going to a party in hopes of finding a nice guy and end up with just making out with someone...sound mature to you? Trying to create a meaningful relationship takes two. You made out with a guy, try to speak with him. Maybe he feels awkward just as you are...make a first move. He was nice enough just to make out with you...a lot of men will just want to get into your pants and move on to the next target.
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - Agree too. :D
i don't know if that example is an example of immaturity. its just... college and life. happens all the time no matter what your maturity level is. i find you to be a bit naive.
I couldn't read the article because the picture was too awesome.
My brothers are all immature, and the one is 35.
. My dad is still immature sometimes and he's almost 56!
yes, some do but a lot arent held up to maturity so they never do
I guess it really depends on the guy and how they view themselves.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - I was giggling like crazy, because 'comments' was spelled wrong.
If you want mature guys, look in a church. They still play rock band every Friday night, but they care about more than the next week.
*sigh*-- you know, i've noticed that most of the time, the word 'immature' has been flung as a blanket statement by girls to describe guys that don't share their opinions or values.
Finding a "mature" guy at a party is very.. rare. It happens but it's very, well, rare.
Why don't you try meeting a "mature" guy elsewhere rather than a party? And why do he have to come to talk to you? Why don't you go and speak to him? It takes two to make a relationship work but it only takes one to take the initiate and try to get something out of it.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga -
FUCK YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH
Stop looking and relax. Relationships are born best through mutual friends- so start there.
I think the difference is finding a guy who knows the balance between being silly and serious. Its no fun when your man is constantly a stickler for rules and doesnt know how to lay back and joke around every now and then....
I def. know what you're talking about cause I have been surrounded by college guys for the past couple yrs but there is a difference between their immaturity and the highschool boys I used to be around.
The immaturity is kind of neccesary to keep sane these days and it makes for a good time. I guess it aoso depends on your personality and what you find to be funny.
But I love my college guy friends they never get old and always keep me laughing...which keeps me young. :)
and to add I thought by dating someone older like in their 20's would be different. Theyre the same....idk, you just gotta look in the right places...haha like church