Thursday, 17 September 2009
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Is There An Expiration Date on Relationships?
Until a week ago, I was in a relationship with the same guy for almost three years. Something came upon me and I broke it off with him. Don't get me wrong, I love him I really do but I just can't do it anymore. Everything felt routine and it felt like nothing was changing. When we were together, we would argue & even if we weren't together we would argue via test message. It just got to the point where I felt like there was no connection coming my way. He told me that he still has a strong connection for me. It came to a point where he was giving me 95% and I was only giving him 5%. So, I want to know if I did the right thing. Three years is a long time and I might not feel the connection anymore, but a break-up still hurts.
Was three years too long for this relationship? Is our time up? And how do you cope with it?
Is there an expiration date on relationships?
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Comments (40)
If there was, they'd all expire eventually. Some relationships just don't work out, and those are the ones you're supposed to learn from so the next one will be better.
we have that kind of agreement and the same situation (with him being in your position), sad to say. But things change. Words can't just simply be permanent.
People fall out of love, eventually. But it doesn't fade as easily as how you fell in love. Maybe, that has been the case in this.
you did the right thing by breaking it off because all u would be doing is stressing yourself out and hurting him if you did stay. That relationship is pointless to u now.
I dont believe in the whole expiration date thing with a relationship, Its either a relationship last or it doesnt simple as that. but thats like saying oh u cant be with someone because they are moldy now idk thats what comes to mind when i think of expiration date lol dont mind me its just my way of thinking.
Only if the relationship isn't working/ going anywhere...otherwise, no.
Not every relationship has an "experiation date". However, if something isn't working out or if you don't feel attracted to them anymore, then think about it. Three years is a long time, and he's still really into you. Talk to him about it and see if you can try anything (if you want to) to try and salvage the relationship.
i had two friends who were dating their bf's for about 7 years each and after the 7 years, they decided to call it quits and one of my friends said that it was because of the 7 year mark. i was a bit confused because i know a lot of people in relationships longer than that and they're still together. i think there's only expiration to dating when you don't really see a future with that person. i think if it was more like courtship, there isn't an expiration because you're looking for a lifetime with that person.
I said in an earlier comment that my longest was 3.5 years. Yes it hurt when I broke up with him, but it was time. Same situation... nothing was changing, i was frustrated all the time with him, we argued all the time. I think you did the right thing. If a relationship is unbalanced (the 95% 5% ratio) it is unfair to both parties to keep the thing limping along. Trust me its better to break it off while you still respect and cherish the person you loved, than trying to keep it going until you fight all the time and end up hating one another. I've done it both ways, and being honest with your self about how you feel and the effort your willing to put in is necessary.
As far as how to deal with it, to each his own. I've done it one-night-stand-rebound style, I've tried it the 'lets just be friends' thing with the x, I've tried 'bottom of a bottle', I've tried 'total isolation from the x and everything about them'.... I honestly can't tell you if one way is better than the other, sorry kido.
Oh some relationships, yes. However, when the right relationship comes around I don't think that has an expiration.
There isn't a set expiration date on any relationship. They just run their course, and one or both people feel that it's time to end it. That can happen after 3 months, 3 years, or maybe even 30 years.
At least you ended it instead of letting it drag on.
You can cope with it any way you like. Cry, scream, laugh, exercise, be with friends, whatever. It just takes time.
I have the shittiest luck with guys. It feels like the next guy i talk to...i don't have as much faith in us than i use to in the past with other guys. I am always expecting the worst and already fixated my mind on us not lasting for a long time. It feels bleh, it's like why still try? Because i want a guy to prove me wrong. But Yes there's an expiration date on relationships,,,always.
Love doesn't expire. It's always there. Passion expires.
With my 1st girlfriend passion lasted 1.5 years. I still wish for good things to happen to her and I'm sure she feels the same way. :)
The passion is still going on with my current girl friend. OH BABY! (not literally)
The 7 year mark mewithoutu77 mentioned holds true with my friends and myself. Around that point, a lot of the couples I knew dropped like flies because the girls in the relationships wanted out all of sudden. It sounds like there's a 3 year mark too... It sucks for the guys really. If I had to do it all over again, I would keep my options open. The reality is, guys settle down while girls are more likely to pick up and move on for whatever reason (wanting change, loss of feelings, constant arguing).
No, it's not about an expiration date; it's about the relationship.
I have been in a relationship for 3 and 1/2 years, and while there are problems and sometimes, things do become really routine, it's about the two in the relationship, not some stupid label or number. Who cares. It's what makes you two happy.
You want to know if you made the right choice? Well, how do you feel? Do you regret it? Are you happy with your decision?
I think we all have things to learn from relationships. Eventually we get to find the one that we're learning to spend the rest of our lives with. But others we may just have certain things to learn before it's time to move on. Maybe when you met him, it was the right relationship for both of you. But now it's time for you to move on.
I believe there is always a reason someone is brought into our lives. Either they have something to teach us that we couldn't have learned on our own, or we have something to teach them. Usually we're both learn from each other. It's just hard to see the lessons until the heart ache has passed.
I think you made the right choice.
Yes there is. I assume it varys between people, but i generally find it lasts for around a year, but im still young so idk
I remember a post that was really similar to this one and had a similar picture.
Ahh.. http://www.datingish.com/706064072/relationships-with-expiration-dates/
Lol.
seems like you have lost faith in the relationship.
Some people may date for 10 years and break up. People grow and change and the person they change into may not be what you're looking for. It's nobody's fault. You grow and learn. In the end, you hope that you've found the best man out there compatible with you.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - i agree.
if its a bad relationship, otherwise no.
If it's a bad relationship, then obviously it will not last very long. However, if it is a a really strong and comfortable relationship, then I don't think there is an expiration date for them :)
The shelf life for romantic love is 1 year, tops.
If there was an expiration date on relationships, then there would be no marriages.
o_o'
It was the only choice you had because the set up was INCREDIBLY unfair for the guy if he's investing 95% into the relationship with you only putting in 5% due to the lack of feelings you had for him.
they say the "honeymoon" period (on a longer scale) lasts for TWO years. after that, it takes effort and the want to be in a relationship with that person. it's amazing how there are couples who have been in love with each other for 50+ years, what's their secret, their magic? i envy them...and am hopeful because it can happen, why shouldn't it happen with me too??
i mean you have to go through the bad to find the good right?