I don't need closure with any of my exes.

whats the point of a closure ? closure will only bring back bad times.. maybe good times.. but in the end if you are with a great guy now, you can forget about the closure, its a waste of time to even spend anytime on it. that day when you guys broke it off, that was the end of it..

@wyrdkismet@xanga - let's have babies

The past is just that...the past.  It doesn't matter if you "seek closure," there's always the possibility of wondering "what might've been."  Regardless, it doesn't matter.  I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, and ex's are ex's for a reason as well.

So, I'd say take closure in this: if it was meant to be, it'd find it's own way.

@Lyrical_L@xanga - Well, from my own experience in the past with a similar situation, I'll just say this: proceed with caution.  Can't hurt, right?

I don't know if you're going to get what you need from a conversation with your ex.  But hey, if you feel you need to do that in order to not wonder what might have been, then by all means, go ahead.  I hope you get the resolution you want.

Closure is all in your head. You don't need to confront anyone or go anywhere to really get it.
-- Getting that fact straight WAS my closure.
It's a hefty price to pay if you don't understand that.

I'm not trying to lecture you but I honestly can't think of any questions I would ask an ex who I didn't even want to be friends with. Like maybe... "Do you have any regrets about our past?" but I would hate to sound insecure about that. Hmm I can't think of any other questions, sorry, and good luck!

Can you elaborate more as to why it ended for u both because that way we can formulate questions for u to ask?

i actually just went through this sort of situation....but it was a little more involved, unfortunately. this particular ex was the boy who i consider my first love and who put me through my first real heartbreak. we ended 3 years ago - due to him cheating on me with one of his coworkers. in the end, it was all for the best....i met a guy not long after who i am still with today. i actually live with him now and we're talking about getting engaged in a year. i'm truly happy and know i'm with someone who reciprocates my feelings and honestly loves me for me.

even so, things have not been easy. i've carried a lot of baggage with me over these last 3 years....mainly due to insecurities i developed after and during that relationship. i felt like i couldn't trust anyone, that every guy will eventually cheat, and i went through severe depression. my poor boyfriend tried for about a year to convince me he's not like the other guys i've been with - especially "the" ex. i kept my walls up and would not let him break in. understandably, he reached his breaking point and we've had our share of problems. in all honestly, it wasn't until THIS YEAR that i've felt truly secure in my relationship. it's taken me that long to break down my walls and find my way out of the depression. it took going to counselling and it took my boyfriend and i splitting up for me to finally get to where i'm at now.

this july, my ex randomly contacted me wanting to catch up. we got coffee and caught up....and it was nice. it was weird seeing him, and even weirder to meet his son (with the girl he cheated on me with). we continued to talk and we got together a second time without his son so that i could tell him what i really felt. what i told him was exactly how he made me feel, no holds barred. he pulled the "i miss you. i screwed up so bad. i still love you" card....and i told him he will never have another chance with me ever again even if i'm single someday. it was the most freeing, liberating thing i've ever done in my life. it's amazing the difference it's made in me.

i wanted to remain on friendly terms....because i'm not one to walk away from someone who's had such a big impact on me. yes, he hurt me very much....but we do have many more good memories. and life is too short to hold grudges. but his fiance found out we were talking, kicked him out, called me a homewrecker, and now he won't speak to me. i don't feel bad though because i know i did nothing wrong - my boyfriend knew about every last detail with the situation.

i don't regret it. not a single bit. i'm much better off now and in a much better place emotionally. just say what you really feel. if it causes hurt feelings, it causes hurt feelings. hopefully you can both be mature enough to respect what one another says though.

I need closure too, but I'm just waiting to see what happens...I'm not really planning anything out or thinking about what to say. I'm waiting for him to do something, since it's his fault we don't talk anymore. I don't think I'm the one who needs to make the effort. It's his turn now. 

@elevenelevenxo@xanga - Wow, thank you for sharing. I know it's a personal story,so I'm glad that you felt such a story would help me out with my own situation. I'm glad everything worked out well.

@sumtymesiwonder@xanga - I know what you mean.

@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I feel if closure is an option I would like to have it. Thanks for your two cents. I hope everything works out.

@GaMeGurLsH@xanga - Crazy Psycho ex-girlfriend? Haha, if I were to be honest, I was a not so good ex-girlfriend. Maybe a little dramatic, but I can confidently say I'm neither crazy or psycho. Thanks for the good humor, unless you were really implying that you think I'm a crazy psycho ex-girlfriend for seeking closure, than i really can't say anything, but...yea I don't think I am.

@liveand_love@xanga - Hey Thanks for trying. I greatly appreciate it

For the rest of you guys commenting, if I didn't reply, I just wanna say thanks. I just don't have the time to say thanks to you all, but I do appreciate everything. You all gave me lots to think about. Don't let this comment stop you from sending in more advice, stories, anecdotes or any other ideas.

Mk.