I have a very bad habit of getting into long distance relationships. Why, you ask? Because I highly dislike clingy guys. I always have liked my privacy and the idea of a dude looming over me at all times in the hallway has always,
always irked me. In long distance relationships, this isn't something I have to worry about.
My first example of a long distance relationship isn't that much of a great one, because it was through a social networking site and he turned out to be a girl, pretending to be a guy. There was a totally valid reason to this and, yes, I was mad when I first found out, and I felt like a year of my life was devoted to a figment of my imagination, but I don't really hold it against her. I guess I'm too forgiving. But not to get off topic, here.
'His' name was Daniel, and he showed me what love was, and also, what loneliness was.
He was never around, and it made me think that maybe a close relationship would be better for me after-all.
But, alas, I had gone out with a guy in my school. Pretty decent in popularity. Caring. Not bad looking. (Until we broke up. Because he was clingy, to the max.) I didn't like him being around me all the time. I had another one in school after that. Same issue. We tried fixing it, but there was no way.
I'm in another long distance relationship, and I'm quickly seeing similarities between "Daniel" and Jordan. He doesn't talk to me as much as he did when he asked me out and we first started dating. I feel like I'm losing my connection with him.
So, I wanted to ask the people of Xanga...
What is the better option?
Would you rather:
Date someone farther away and often feel alone and depressed, or
Date someone close by and deal with super-annoying clingy-ness?
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Comments (48)
I'd deal with the clingy-ness.
Easy, clingy, I am sort of clingy meself, but only physically.
Gotta have some privacy.
i guess clingy
can there be an inbetween answer?
I'd take clingy any day over finding out I'm a lesbian.
I'd rather just not be in a relationship.
Personally, I don't think I could have a long distance relationship. I currently live with my boyfriend and we see each other everyday. Most of our time is spent together, actually, and I can't imagine things any differently.
I think you just have to find someone who you can enjoy being around constantly. I still have my time to myself and my boyfriend has his, but we prefer to do things together. I don't think we're being clingy, we've just become best friends. Besides, falling asleep next to the person you love most is the best feeling in the world.
I guess everyone has a different opinion. It is possible to find a balance of time together and time to yourself, though.
I've never had the clingy-ness. So I guess that's what I want.
is a result of clingy.
The better question is: clingy or alone?I'd take clingy. With time, I think it fades and compromises are made.
@i_r_keiko@xanga - lol agreed!
but I think if I had to choose between super clingy or pining and alone--- I'd choose being single
Hm...I'd be single. Relationships aren't that great.
Uh, how did you end up dating a girl who pretended to be a guy? You didn't even bother calling your 'bf' up on the phone? I'd rather find a boyfriend who is distantly close to me but independent enough to not be bothering me everyday...yes it's possible to find those guys. LOL
i can't choose. both suck bad.
my bf lives an hour away, so we don't see each other CONSTANTLY. sometimes i revel in the fact that i dont see him everyday. sometimes it feels harder, like if we cant get to see each other more than once a week - but, for the most part i like the balance of independence/closeness.
Ditch both of them, and find someone right in the middle :)
Wouldn't it be funny if his name was Malcolm...
Haha, I'm laughing to myself. I'm so funny.
I choose the clingy-ness. That's my gut response anyways. I'm in a Long Distance thing and the thing I miss most is his touch. I'm sure I'd get sick of it after awhile ... maybe.
Those are both extreme sides of the spectrum...but if I had to choose, I'd choose clingy. Feeling alone is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world to me. Clingy, in a sense, has a positive note to it, because at least you know the person cares. When you're alone, you feel like no one cares, and it really messes with your psyche. Also, a clingy person can be developed in time...I'm not saying changed, but developed. Being alone is being alone.
I've dealt with both, and frankly, the distance one is slightly better - only because the level of interest is still there. But when it's the clingy - any attraction/spark dies fast!
Yeah, personally, I can't deal with long distance. Although, it can work. It wouldn't work for me.
being alone is not depressing. i rather be lonely than clingy.
My bf and I have been long distance for u and half yrs. He lives in Chicago and I love in a Detroit suburb. we are so in love and hopefully one day I will be with him soon. I am pretty lonely without him. but I don't think once we live closer we will be clingy. But then again I wouldn't mind it...
i prefer to be by myself but that parts changing yea relationships are good but i would love to have my sanity too
Long-distance (cause eventually that can end...by moving in together)
I currently am in an LDR. My bf and I live over an hour away from eachother (he has a full time job and I have recently become unemployed and am looking). We started dating in college and every summer, winter and spring break we'd be separated for awhile then after each break it'd be back to school. Now we're both graduated and living with our presents so it has become less often that we see eachother (about once a week). It is hard and lonely for both of us, but we are finally working towards getting an apartment together. So yea, definitely lonely over clingy.
Lonely, of COURSE! But I wouldn't let myself be lonely. I have great and supporting friends, and I believe friendship is a really amazing thing to have and very precious to keep close to you when you're in a relationship.
@Starring_Hobo89@xanga - AMAZING SHOW at least in its early years. I lol'd out loud at your comment :P