Monday, 14 September 2009
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He's Only in it for the Sex?
So, I've been surfing the internet looking for inspiration for a blog. I came across an article from a guy's point of view of reasons why he won't commit to a relationship. I found it absolutely ridiculous. Here are some of his reasons:
Girl's grow up faster: So, I guess 'committing' means growing up, which he simply cannot do, because he isn't 'old enough' to have too much responsibility, and wants to delay the process of maturity as long as possible. Personally, I hate immature guys, so maybe commitment is a good thing for every guy.
You're pressuring him to commit: Okay, this one isn't so bad. But, if you're seeing a guy for more then a month, but he doesn't want to commit to anything, then he's in it to 'get some.' At least, that's what I think.
None of his friends have girlfriends: sooo?!? That doesn't mean you can't have a girlfriend what-so-ever. He said that 'he wants to commit, but will not be the first guy in his group of friends to do so, because there is a lot of respect for the last single guy in the group'. Whatever. Doesn't even make sense to me.
He's only in it for the sex: dfgsdgljdkgj at least he's honest. . . I guess.
He's got other priorities: Purely an excuse, at best. Many, many guy have other things to do besides having a girlfriend. That does not mean you can't have one.
He's afraid it won't work out: Uhm, no one is certain things will work out. Just have fun with it. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. End of story.
Be a man about it, right? What do you think about these reasons?
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- From: SmilingThoughts@xanga
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Comments (48)
He's just not that into her.
Ooo! I really like this one!
A lot to consider
Lame.
If any girl dates this guy thinking she can "change him"...they deserve everything they have coming to them.
"He's only in it for the sex: dfgsdgljdkgj at least he's honest. . . I guess."
LOL. loved the way you worded that.
These are all lame excuses why a guy won't commit. The truth is he won't commit to you but might commit with a different girl. If he really likes you? None of the above will apply.
@yakko1@xanga - i totally agree.
if he's into her then he would even try to move mountains for her but when he's not then of course he's going to give those excuses to her to avoid her from attaching herself to him.
Wow... way to be, author. Way to rip on men for having reasons why we really dont want to waste your time, much less our own time (except for the - only in it for the sex thing).
Girls grow up faster: lol okay, thats just bs.. i've never heard that one in my life. that one just says"no i dont want to be with you and i dont want to tell you the real reason why"
Pressure to commit: totally legit. In a guys head, committment can tend to lead to the loss of a guys individuality. Trust me on this one... I know it sounds like the biggest load of crap, but i could actually go on for a VERY long time as to why i say this (if you're interested, then by all means) But unlike most women, most men really aren't geared to be horribly committed to someone. Call it what you want, but our own inherant goal in life is to further our OWN live's first... then once we DO decide to committ to someone, we realize (conciously or otherwize) that our whole lifestyle needs to change and we now bear the responsibility of someone else with us... financially, mentally emotionaly... So committment is kindof a big deal! Its not just some flippant decesion that we like to make on a whim. This is typically why we have less heartache from previous baggage... we dont react with emotion .. usually.
None of his friends have girlfriends: There's actually a lot that tends to go with this one too. We all know, that when a guy gets the girlfriend, we will IMMEDIATELY see extremely less and less of him. Because he is no longer him. He is they. He is a totally different guy.. just by social status... which i'm not saying is bad. But the appreciation for the last single guy is kindof a testament to how a guy can redeem his independance the longest... simply becuase a lot of women tend to be mother rather than lover... ie - not independant. ie. gotta get permission from the wife / girlfriend / fiance.
Having other priorities: Umm.. haven't you girls used "I'm really into my work right now" or something along those lines as an excuse?.. Sure it may be valid, and sure it may be a total load of crap, but really... you clearly just dont want to date us... or maybe you're worried that you cant effectively juggle both SO and work , and friends AND family AND whatever else. Um... cant it just be the same for us?... man, didn't think this one would've been too ridiculously hard to get...
Not believing its going to work out: Okay, clearly he just said that the relationship is going to fail... because he believes it. Seriously?.. do you really want to take that chance? Who is really dumb enough to want to get in a relationship and risk mental emotional and physical intimacy with someone who doesn't see the relationship going anywhere. Sure you can take the chance, but when we gamble (and love is nothing but a gamble) .. how often do we win?
Wow.. maybe us guys really aren't that desnse and stupid.
@erahslover@xanga - COMPLETELY agree!!!
yeh "he's just not that into you." @TheDoubleDeuces@xanga - agree, could go both sexes. (applaud datingish for generalizing once again)
If you are dating guys who beat around the bush about commitment, you aren't ready to commit yourself. If he says he isn't ready to grow up, enjoy being a kid with him. You only get to be a kid so long or date a man whose interests are more in line with your own. You don't have to say "yes" to sex. If you do right away then maybe you were just in it for sex because you didn't bother to get to know him either. Men like to get to know you and to be known. It's human to want to be known. Pressuring a guy to get married is emotionally abusive. Do you want to be pressured into sex? It's the same thing. I agree with number three for women too these days. I only recently realized how smart it is to get married young. It keeps you from being roped into bad ideas. But, yeah, I used to think adventure, not wildness, was the way to live. So this is number one rephrased...just date another man more in line with your timing. Yep, he's honest, and if you gave in you are admitting you are in it for the sex too. Number five means he doesn't plan to marry you to. It means to me that he's the sort that will marry and he's getting it together for that life, but you aren't it. The last one, I don't know what to say. Say,"Well, let's take it slow." Maybe he really is scared it won't work out or maybe it's an excuse. Time will tell.
@MilkyWhitesezMoo@xanga - You know, i would think that after all this time of women saying "i dont get men" and men saying "I dont get women" and everyone else saying "... they're just not logical" .. i would have thought that when a woman has some bs reason for why she flips out over whatever, that we as men could just kinda deal with the fact that she flipped out for whatever.. and that when a man has 15 bs reason for not wanting to date someone that women could kinda just deal with him not wanting to date her.
jdjeyfh%3te4gfr745t3ujfhgjsdhfjetirgjrgijggeuderjvcmcjffu<-----that's pretty much all i have to say about guys.
ENOUGH WITH THE GENDER STEREOTYPING ALREADY!
Okay..lol I date girls and a lot of girls are in it just for the sex too. haha and they are just as scared of commitment as guys. Its all a matter of who you meet and who you have that chemistry with. We all play the game at some point. This was a really good blog though.
"He's only in it for the sex: dfgsdgljdkgj at least he's honest. . . I guess." ---best part of the whole blog lol
guess its not just guys?
Girls grow up faster -Fail
Pressure into commitment - Girls, just dont do this, pressuring anybody into anything is a bad sign in the first place of how things are gonna go. A small push may be good, but the constant nag is just the sign of going nowhere.
None of his friends have GFs - Honestly, I don't even have many guy friends, more girl friends by a huge ratio.
He'd only in it for the sex - YOU KNOW THIS AND NEED REASONS TO STAY AND COMMIT!? FAILLLLLL
He's got other priorities - If she isn't on that list, theres something wrong
He's afraid it wont' work out - With the word being utterly unloyal to all their parents, nobody knowsss
He just happen to be one people in this world who is in fear of getting clung into a serious relationship.Â
Just avoid dating people like him or whoever is in that particular stage as him. Â Just find someone else who is willing to share your dreams with you and ready to commit.Â
I think girls should stop complaining about guys who don't want to commit. Try dating someone who appreciates your companionship enough to want to be in a relationship with you. Learn how to stand on your own two feet.
I think sometimes people do have other priorities so I wouldn't say it's just an excuse at best. I loved this:
"He's only in it for the sex: dfgsdgljdkgj at least he's honest. . . I guess."
=)
For a while the guy I was seeing told me we were having issues because he was "afraid things wouldn't work out." I could not for the life of me understand that for the same reason you stated here. (turned out not to be the real reason though lol)
@utoppia@xanga - thats the most sensible thing i've read on here. All rules fall to the way side when you meet that one girl. Butttt.... and its a big but girls are the same way too.
I know if things are going to "work out" five minutes into the first conversation... As far as maturity goes your comparing yourself to a boy, not a man. If a bitch is crazy but puts out, and it seems thats all she wants as well, you damned right im gonna slut it out with her for awhile... Just as she'll do outside of the club on saturday night with another guy, sorry if i dont want to commit to that (i think i speak for all men), broaden your spectrum and your intelligence please before you post again.
lol congratulations on convincing that one person why his exuses are bullshit. now what?