Monday, 14 September 2009
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The Forbidden Shirt
As the title suggests, there is a shirt of mine that I can no longer wear. Not because it's too small, too big, stained, or in any way defective.I can't wear this shirt anymore because it's the shirt I was wearing when my ex (the guy I had loved for 4 years and who FINALLY requited my feelings) kissed me for the first time. It probably doesn't help that it was the first time I had ever worn the shirt, so that is now the only memory I have associated with it.
That relationship ended...just horrifically. It broke my heart. I cried every morning and every night for a week. I even missed a day of school because I couldn't stop hysterically crying. It was a really bad time for me, probably the worst I've ever felt in my life, and that shirt is now somehow symbolic of all of the pain, hurt, and lies. I haven't been able to bring myself to wear it again. I can't even look at it without that sinking feeling in my chest.
I just feel so crazy. I mean, it's just a shirt! It shouldn't be such a big deal, but I just can't get it out of my head!
Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this with an item connected to a past relationship?
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- From: scrapbook_romance
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Comments (72)
starbucks. i haven't been in a starbucks since my ex and i broke up.. it was our place haha its been 3 months
No, I never really got attached to objects. My favorite CD is actually the one he bought me for Valentine's Day. I guess I'm just not that sentimental.
I'd burn it.
Or, give it to Goodwill or some place like that so someone else can get some memories out of it.
Newp. Maybe because I'm a heartless bastard, or because I like to remember my past good or bad.
I don't wear a couple of my favourite clothes anymore because they were his favourite while we were together.
I know exactly how you feel..
nope
Nope. :] I can't even remember what I wear at times like that. Even songs that used to be "our" songs I listen to without feeling sad. But, then again, I DETEST letting anyone from the past have such a huge effect on me.
Give the shirt away. No shirt = one less reminder.
My ex won me this HUGE teddy bear with a heart that said "I love you" on it. I couldn't look at it after he broke up with me so I just gave it away to my baby nephew. I also gave my cousins a bunch of other stuffed animals my ex got me.
As some others have pointed out, I think it depends on how sentimental of a person you are. If the relationship ended badly, things that remind you of him will definitely conjure up those same bad memories. Thus, it might help to get rid of said offending shirt.
Not really. I understand your situation though.
I associate certain memories with certain items, but it's never so negative that I can't bear to wear/use the item ever again. That is too impractical for me.
I have a shirt that connects with my girlfriend's shirt. It's a guy riding a moped on a line. The line extends to the left side of the shirt. It continues from the right side of my girlfriend's shirt and leads to a girl sitting in a chair waiting. I only wear it when I'm with her in person and she's wearing that shirt. Otherwise, I don't wear it.
I had a messy break up that went on and on... I finally got over it by donating every article of clothing she bought me, as well as everything I bought while I was with her, to charity.
I also purged any mementos I had from our time together.
i'm sure that if i break up with my boyfriend, certain things such as specific clothes (i'd say more lingerie/panties type), certain songs, certain places and certain experiences would make me really sad. when i had separated with another boyfriend a few years ago, i had a specific sweater that he had left behind that i would find myself wearing in 90 degree weather. it was more for comfort than anything else. i'm not that obsessive, people. my boyfriend had actually passed away due to private circumstances and i would wear that sweater around like it was my own skin. right after i washed it, i would spray on his fave scent and it'd make me feel better. eventually i got strong enough to let it go.
I have songs or stores in the area, like that.
I have a ring with my birthstone that my ex-boyfriend got me for my 16th birthday, he was my first love and we broke up because of distance and such. We were together for over 3 years. I still wear the ring, its kind of a reminder of a good time in my life, it makes me sad, but it also helps me a lot. so I know what you mean in a way.
I know exactly how you feel sweety! I was with my ex for about a year, and even thought i have had long term relationships before he meant a lot more to me then anyone ever had. And it ended really badly. At the time i happened to work in chicago rock cafe as a part time weekend thing, where he ha once worked and was not only sorounded by his friends but by happy couples and i would just break down every time i saw people happy together, and every time his friends talked about him. I loved him so much. And the whole place reminded me of him. I ened up quiting and taking up another job.
Been there, got the t-shirt. Its the most horrible feeling you can experience in the world. I really do sympathise.
xx
fold it up and store it in a place where you wont have to see it but still have it so that you can keep it for memory sake. Thers plenty of things that i have that's a reminder but it's part of my memory
YES.
Do not burn it/destroy it/bin it or whatever. Put it in a box somewhere, a box that will easily be forgotten about because it's hidden/out of sight. When your feelings have subsided, and you've happily moved on... you'll smile at that shirt and remember the happy moments, not the pain. Memories are memories for a reason, whether we learn from them, or rejoice them.
@UnopenedSuitcases@xanga - well said :)
For a while I did. My ex bought me a mini fridge for my bedroom for my birthday one year during our relationship. I couldn't use it for so long after we broke up. Now I don't even think about it.
not quite. i still use gifts guys have gotten me from past relationships.
im kindaback and forth.
i immerse myself in things that remind me of him one minute
and then i hate everything that is him the next.
i cant deal with it and im past the crying cos i have no more tears
jus memories that haunt me every second of everyday
yes i've been through that, for me the proverbial tshirt is.. a soft toy. the ex and i swapped, i had his panda, he had my pooh bear. When we broke up, we returned them, but i can't look or even hug poohbear w/out a ripping feeling. it doesn't help that it smells like him =/