Monday, 14 September 2009

  • Are You Waiting?


    I know a handful of people in their 20s who are still virgins, myself included. However, most of them are not specifically waiting until they are married to lose their virginity, but until they find the right person.

    I consider myself a Christian, though I have strayed away from church in the last couple of years. When I was younger I had always planned to wait to have sex until I was married. Now I'm not so sure. Personally, I think I could wait until I am married to have sex. I think it is a wonderful thing when a couple can do that. However, I would also be okay with losing my virginity to someone I'm not married to as long as we are in love and it feels right.

    The latter choice, though, makes me feel like I am compromising my original values because I know how hard it will be at my age to find a guy who would be willing to wait until marriage. I don't know any guys who are actually saving themselves for marriage anymore.

    So my question is this guys, would you date a girl who was saving herself for marriage? Are there any guys out there who plan to stay virgins until their wedding day? Girls would you date a guy who was waiting for marriage? Why or why not?

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Comments (67)

  • wyrdkismet@xanga

    yes. i would date a virgin guy. me likey the chaste ones.

  • xourlastendeavorx@xanga
    It seems not to be a big deal, it is more about emotions for me. I can be in love to a nympho or to girl who is abstinent I don't care.
  • GiantUnicorn@xanga

    I'd date a guy who was saving himself. Tho I don't know any.

    I said I would save myself, but at the first chance to give it up I threw it out the window. I'm not necessarily disappointed about it. I was for a while, but now I feel like a weight has been lifted. not at all saying it's for everyone to give it up or to wait. Just for me, I feel more relaxed and less stressed about the whole thing. Whenever I told people I was a virgin they would FREAK out. 

  • pretend2fly@xanga

    i wish i had waited... i dont like to date virgins and i'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to date me... seeing as how i'm having someone elses baby.
  • JennyGee@xanga

    i've been struggling a lot with this myself lately.  i am planning to wait till marriage (I'm 24), and i had surrounded myself with like-minded people, so i always sort of assumed that most nice people were, and if you weren't you just fell of the wagon.

    now, though, i know that most people have had sex by their mid-20's.  in an ideal world, i would be waiting and so would my future spouse.  but since i don't know if my future spouse is or not (becuase i don't know who that is!), i'm not sure if i should or not :-/  i still want to, for me, but if my future spouse would prefer i get "experience"....

    it was always easy because getting pregnant would have ruined my life, but now that i'm done with school and it woulnd't destroy everything...losing the concrete reasons not to make it a lot harder to say.
  • Crimson_Ballad@xanga

    Three basic needs of mankind.


    1.Consumption.
    2.Sleep.
    3.Sex.
    It's up to you, you are free to do whatever you want. 
  • Tips

    I planned on waiting until marriage until I hit 18. At that point I thought that as long as I truly loved and trusted the person, it was OK. Then he ended up being a total lying prick, but what can you do? I was really disappointed about it, but I came to terms with everything. I really was in love with him at the time. I eventually did find the right person, just took me more then one try. My advice is, go with what your heart tells you. If it truly feels right and you know you want your first time to be with him, go for it! Just make sure he really is who he says he is and you're sure about your decision.

    I definitely would have saved myself for marriage if I found the right guy and he wanted to wait.
  • LaidbackPhilosopher@xanga

    I am not a vrigin, but I would date a girl who wanted to wait if we were in love.
  • MissPixieGlitter@xanga

    i'm not particularly fond of the marriage idea. so probably not.
  • cantblinktilligo@xanga

    I'm waiting. Not because of my religion, I just want to. And I would date a guy who's saving himself.
  • hardlyhandsomest@xanga

    Saving it until marriage would be a great idea.. It's going to be hard, it's going to be very hard... but in the end, I think it might be worth the wait... One, it would let you know that the person you love, loves you for you and not for sex. Two,  it would show that the person your will is patient, and three it would definitely show you that the person your with, has high values.....


    Good luck with everything...
  • bondiblue@xanga

    my boyfriend and i have actually both decided to save ourselves. We've talked about our goals, and neither one of us want to have sex anytime soon. We are both in college, so of course there is some temptation there, but because we set our boundaries early on in our relationship, neither one of us feel like anything has to happen, or will.
  • ShimmerBodyCream@xanga

    Who gives a shit if the guy is a virgin or not. It's your set of morals, not his. Your morals aren't less valuable if everyone doesn't share them.
  • godofthelost@xanga

    @ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - Agreed, but maybe not so harshly.  And the opposite is also true, morals are no more valuable if others don't share them.

    I didn't wait.  I don't regret it.  I never planned on waiting.
  • goofball4@xanga

    I just think that before buying the car, I want to take it out for a test drive so I know its the car I want, if you know what I mean. I'm not particularly waiting for marriage either, but for the person who is right for me. Wouldn't it suck if you had sex for the very first time after marriage and then you found out that you two aren't sexually compatible? ...and then to top it off, you are now bound to them for life. So yeah, waiting for the right person, not marriage. 
  • my_final_username@xanga

    I am waiting and I am virgin
  • eatdrinkandbemaryy@xanga

    i would never exclude someone from the dating realm because they're waiting until marriage, because it shows commitment, in both our relationship and his own principles. the one thing i  hate in people are people who are weak willed and can't stick to their principles. however, although you changed your views, i don't find it weak willed, but just that your experiences changed your beliefs. so i don't find it too much of "compromising" your past principles, more like you grew up and your thoughts changed.
  • raedium@xanga

    I, like you, simply planned on waiting for the right guy. I dated quite a bit. Had flings here and there, and when I wouldn't let them into my pants they all abruptly ended. -_-


    However, I was really in love with a guy via internet. I promised him it was his, because I didn't believe there was anyone else in the world who deserved it. Who I wouldn't regret giving it too.
    Two years later he showed up at my house. We had been through a lot, and he thought I had lied about being a virgin up until his visit. Fortunately, everything worked out for us. I lost my virginity in the perfect way and I have no regrets. Waiting for the right person makes more sense, in my opinion.
    :)
  • Drizzles@xanga

    I know my brother is saving himself for marriage. :)
  • Starring_Hobo89@xanga

    I don't really know any guys who are virgins except for some socially awkward ones...

    I know several girls who are though.

    I wouldnt mind going out with a girl who is saving herself for marriage.

    It's your body. Do what you feel is right.
  • TheCaffeinatedKnitter@xanga

    @goofball4@xanga - What does sexual compatibility have to do with anything? If you're both virgins, how are you going to KNOW whether you both are good in bed or not? I thought the whole point of sex was to communicate and learn about each other - what pleases you; what pleases your partner.

    And for the OP, I was a virgin until I got married.
  • GtSugacane@xanga

    I don't need sex in a relationship, I just want to enjoy someone's company and their mind, so I'd date a virgin definitely. I used to be one of those virgins who were waiting for the right person. What I wanted was for someone to love me completely while respecting my decision to wait, I can be that person for someone else too.

  • quixoticcynic@xanga

    I think sex tends to be this weapon often used to hurt (not always) but if you aren't wiling to have sex with a guy on the first or second date, often times you feel something is wrong.




    I am still a virgin and my fiance is not. Its caused some frusterations for both of us. On one hand, I do not mind he is not a virgin. On the other hand, I HATE his ex girlfriends and struggle with the fact that we will all have that in common.



    Overall I think it is a personal choice. However, the problem i have with promiscuity is not that fact of sex, but often times the lack of caution or hygene. STD's and various other diseases are running rampant and suggests people dont take as much responsibility as they should.
  • MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga

    My boyfriend and I are both virgins by choice and will stay that way until we're married, even if it takes 3 or 4 more years. We just think that sex will be more special if it's only when we're married. 
  • mywordsx@xanga

    Yep, I'd date a virgin~.

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