Okay I already figured that even if I write this blog their will always be different opinions and different takes on this subject no matter how many friends and family I talk to. Back in high school or even before that, (most) girls would always dream about being rescued by a handsome prince and be swept away off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I have no problem with that, seriously what's wrong with dreaming you know, every girl wants to find their knight in shining armor and be happy right?
Well in high school, (some) girls find their knight in shining armor and the guy proposes off the bat and she says "yes" and it seems all good. But when I got older I noticed something, why do I want to fall in love so fast and get married?
I mean when I thought about it I was 17 years old back then, I hadn't even gotten a college degree or done anything with my life. And there I was, wanting to get married and be happy and have kids and whatever. I mean everyone around me was getting engaged and wanting to get married as soon as possible, now when I think about it, was I just trying to fit in like everyone else?
When I look back on my past, I realized that I was young and naive, and I can't say I'm not still naive sometimes because I'm 20 years old now and I still make mistakes. For awhile I thought I wanted to marry the guy I'm dating and be happy and set, but then after reading a lot of the datingish blogs and talking to friends. I realized, I don't want to get married, at least not so early, I want to still explore and get out there and enjoy being single.
Don't get me wrong, anyone who got married early and stuff I don't have anything against it, if they felt the time was right for them then it is. But I think having the time being single and having fun is something that a lot of girls and guys miss out on because sometimes their eager to find "the one" for them. My mom told me, "When you get married, it's a commitment, and you won't be able to do things that you did when you were single after you get married. So take your time and enjoy yourself because you are young, and have fun." I never really cared too much for what she said back then in high school, but now I realized I should listen to her, because she is right.
Have you ever been in a situation like I have been? I'm pretty sure their are people out there with similar cases, but different stories.
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Comments (19)
i don't think i ever bought into the idea of "prince charming." and i do think people should take time to grow as individuals before they commit to life with another person.
I agree with your mom. I always say this, too. Before you get married, you should think about all the things you want to do in life, and think about whether or not you'll be able to do all of that when you're married, start a family (if you plan on it), etc. I'm like you. I certainly do not want to rush into getting married. I want to experience a lot of things first. I want to travel, I want to start my career...I have a lot on my to-do list. Of course, when I am married, I'll still do a lot of things with my husband, but there's a lot I want to accomplish on my own.Â
i don't believe in fairy tales, but i believe in prince charming (though not in the sense that many ppl prolly think what it means). and that's my two cents.
I like to play the poor beggar who kicks prince charming's ass.
I bought into it. Then i was cheated on, and he's now engaged to the girl who he cheated on me with. Now I don't want anything to do with a guy until I'm in college (which is only a year away, but still... it's 2 years of being single.) I can't believe in stuff like that anymore.
i never felt like i needed a prince charming, needed to get married, or get into a relationship. i guess i was always a cynical girl.
I broke up with the "love of my life" when I was 17... because he wanted to get married when we were 20. In my opinion, 20 is way too young to get married (at least, it's too young for me)! I'm now 21 and still nowhere near ready to get married. My exboyfriend just got married this summer... at age 21. I guess he was just in a hurry to get married and settle down. I, on the other hand, don't want to start thinking about marriage until I'm 24 or 25
I totally understand what you mean, and i've always had believe that not only marriage, long term relationships should be commitment as well.
the only problem now is:
Im stuck in a long term relationship, my bf is in that entire all eager to get married age and i am not..
So I don't want to get married right now. Doesn't mean I don't have to get engaged right now, I just don't want to get married. Marriage to me means settling down and figuring the rest of your life out. Picking a singular spot to grow and develop your career, eventually create a family etc. Now, being engaged, you still can go anywhere and everywhere with your SO and be in love and have all that fun and romance and jazz. I won't lie, I do want that. I want to have someone that I know I will love fully till the rest of my days, my own prince charming. But I'm not getting married till 30. Ish. 29-31 is the ideal range. Anyway though, I don't have a problem with tying myself to someone, entering into a commitment, but marriage is like, as I said before, setting up for the rest of your life. I still need time to mess around and figure things out before I settle down and start a family.
my sister is the price charming kinda girl. i;m more of a the-more-the-merrier kinda girl xD
I've found my Prince Charming but I'm not in a rush to walk down the aisle. My mom used to tell me the same thing. Even when I was younger, I had never wanted to get married until my late twenties. I want to have a stable career/income before I say "I Do." =)
i haven't found my knight and shining armor yet and I'm 25. when i was 21, i thought i found him but it turned out that i was wrong. he had all the signs of a knight and shining armor but i found out that it wasn't the life i wanted so i called it all off. and i was really young. i was 21, fresh out of college and didn't know anything about me, but that i needed to see what else was out in this big old world. i don't think there's anything wrong with getting married young, but when i get married, i want that person to be the person i spend my life with and get older together and i don't want to make a wrong decision. also when i was 21, i didn't have a clue about life. now that i'm older, i'm living life and experiencing what it means to actually live. and i love it, even if i'm single.
I actually was vehemently against marriage, at least not until I was in my late 20's. I wanted to go out and explore the world and go to college and meet guys and just have fun. But fate obviously had other plans in mind for me because here I am, 18 and engaged to a wonderful, sweet, amazing guy. I do have some regrets about not getting to have the whole college experience, but ya can't fight fate =P
When the time comes, it comes. =] I don't think there's any need to rush into love, relationships, and marriage.
I was never a prince charming kind of girl and I've never looked for a relationship. I figure I have so much to learn about myself still that I could never think about a relationship. I don't plan on getting married or anything of the sort until I settle into a routine lifestyle.
I completely remember being in that situation, just on the opposite side. I always attempted to be some sort of a knight in shining armor. I remember being 17 and getting ready to graduate, and not being able to wisk my girlfriend at the time away from her horrible horrible life! Hey her brothers were mean!.. and she had to do the dishes! .. and no one but me understood her!! But i was so ready to take her hand and blaze our path through life!
Like you said, looking back, things are so crazy different! I was 17! .. she was 16... what the hell did we know, right? Shute, i'm 26 now, and still have no clue what I'm doing! But if there's anything i'm sure of, its this...
4-5 years back i started dating another girl. We dated for just shy of 3 years. In all reality, we had everything going for us TO get married. We've been through our good times and our bad, and really, we were very committed to each other.. we both had it in our mind that, once college was done with, I'd pop the question ,and we'd get married and live happily ever after. Well, needless to say, the long distance relationship (detroit -- nashville) ended up bringing us to the decesion that maybe we should pursue other options. Aka... she wanted to take a break .. aka... break up with me and not feel guilty about it
I say all that to what i was going to go on about a couple paragraphs up. The one big thing i'm thankfull for right now, is that, going from.. 22?..23?.. to 26 years old, and being single... you really get a good chance to grow up some. Sure i could've done an adequate job at being a husband at 21 or 22, but, i know that, right now, i have a MUCH better chance being a pretty damn good husband... And personally, i'd rather give my someday wife, a more mature version of me, rather than some punk 21 year old y'know?
i tell ya what, i got married at 19 (im 21 now) and im not really wishing to be on the dating scene so much; i kinda got sick of all the drama and i was comfortable with who i had.
i would think, as people get older, its easier to hide nasty surprises that happened in the past, thus making trust more difficult to establish in a relationship.
for example, you're now in your 30's or 40's. your older b/f could be an ex-con, had his name changed after being released from jail, yet he still has jilted gang buddies looking for him due to the fact that he ratted some of them for a lighter sentence. he decides not to tell you, his g/f, any of this in order to "protect" you. lets say you two get married and have a kid, what happens when his old gang buddies finally track him down eh?
or it could be a phishing artist, dates you for a year or so, scores an extra key to your apartment, has access to your personal identity files (credit card numbers, social security number, etc). All the while, s/he is patiently squirreling this information away behind your back and then suddenly wants to "break it off" for whatever reason, and doesn't keep in touch, ignores all your calls. Several months later, things go awry with your credit score, you have charges on your card from companies in Europe that you've never even heard of, your checks start bouncing. basically, you're screwed financially.
or it could be as simple as not fessing up to an STD picked up from their rave/party days.
*shrugs* but hey, what do i kno, i got out of the dating-game early ^.^
I've never been the type of girl that desired marriage, but I know exactly how I'd want it to be if I ever made that plunge, just because I'm particular, not because I've fantasized about it. For instance, I don't like diamonds, I'd want a topaz ring. And I don't want to get married in a church because it feels overdone. I want it to be personalized for me... But I'm also not the type of girl who wants to look for other fish. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. I've known him for 10. We're really close and I wouldn't change that for the world. Its nice to have good solid commitment without the actual "til death due you part" paperwork.
It should be noted, all of the women in my family married at 18 or even their early 20's. If they didn't marry, they settled down with kids. I'm the only one who hasn't done any of those things or even contemplated it and I'm 19. That's the rebel in me.
I also realize that if I don't fish young, all the fish will be caught. So if you do find the one that feels right, hold on tight because you always trade in a few problems for a new set. And don't let age determine your level of commitment. It's just a number. ;) I don't think its naive to want to get married young. You should always do what you feel is right.
I had my first relationship last year...and even though I didn't call him "Prince Charming", I knew him as my first love and "the one". But yeah, I got carried away and I think that thinking of marriage when you're not even out of high school is naive but I think everyone has those thoughts somewhere in their mind during a relationship.