I am currently curious about short-term relationships and if they can be meaningful. This past March I was in a relationship with a guy I will refer to as "Craig". Craig and I knowingly became boyfriend and girlfriend even though I was scheduled to study abroad the following fall semester. We decided that because there was undeniable chemistry between us, we should enjoy our limited time together and not worry so much about the future. Well...before I could relish my new
in a relationship Facebook status, Craig broke up with me because he felt like a short-term relationship was actually a waste of time, and he wanted something long-term after all.
This summer I was still having trouble trying to reconcile romance and a short-term relationship. I wanted to have fun, but still see someone consistently in a romantic way (Have my cake and eat it too?). However, the guys that I met were either interested in fun without any commitment or commitment with the possibility of a long-term relationship. I understand the risk that comes with committing and possible becoming attached to someone who is leaving the country...but for a romantic looking to have some fun before departure...
I cannot help but wonder:
can short-term relationships be meaningful or are they really a waste of time?
Recommend
Comments (47)
Waste of time, in my opinion. It's basically a relationship you know is going to have to end in the foreseeable future. Where's the fun in that?
short terms can be meaningful, if both are happy etc
but also, short term can lead to a long term relationship?
I'm currently dealing with this issue. For this exact reason, neither of us is actually willing to say we're in a relationship - though even if you take away the name, it is what it is. He's in the process of looking for a job, and that will most likely mean he will be moving away, and my current job is no longer as secure as I had hoped, and I'm also planning on moving to find a new job. What we have still means a lot to both of us, and if anything we have more fun - knowing it won't (might not...) last forever. Of course, there's a chance of things working out, the rare chance we end up moving to the same area, there's always a chance our short term relationship could become something more. I think it's that chance that keeps me optimistic about it all.
I'm going to go with "waste of time" on this one. X_X;; Planned "short-term relationship" equates (to me) as fwb+some public deceptiveness, for good measure. If one's out to enter a "relationship," why doom it to failure from the onset? I'd personally have trouble enjoying "what is," if there was a guaranteed, "what isn't to be."
Just me with the thoughts, here, tho.
It depends on the person. It wouldn't be good for me
It would be devestating for me if I tried a short-term relationship because I KNOW that I'll be hearbroken at the end- so I think it would just be a waste of time to be in a relationship knowing that it's not going to work out anyways. I want a relationship to work out- so that's why I go for long-term ( I'm in a relationship for the first time- and I want it to be a long term!).
I think it was John Lennon who said something along the lines of "time that you enjoy wasting is not actually wasted" If it makes you happy, just do it. Unless you are dead-set on scooping up a husband/wife asap (why???) then why worry about whether you're going to stay together until you die? Most relationships (long-term or otherwise) don't last forever anyway, at least this time it's guaranteed so it won't disappoint.
If that is short-term relationship but not long-time, it is definitely a waste of time.
if you both reckon the fact of breaking up after several months without commitment, then it is still fine i guess.
It depends I guess. Some people want to be in a fully committed long-term relationship, other people want to have shorter, less serious relationships. It all depends on what you're looking for and also what point you're at in your life.
I personally don't really know what kind of relationships I like. I've only been in one, and it was pretty short. I didn't think I was ready to be in a full-on long-term relationship, and he wanted one. I was thinking in months and he was thinking in years. I think it's because I'm still young, but he was only two years older than me, so I guess it all depends what you're life is like, not just what your age is.
Oh, and about being together even though you know for sure that it will only be for a short time, I think it's worth it if it makes you happy. The length of time it lasts doesn't matter; what matters is how happy it makes you during that time. Happiness is always worth it.
hey, everyone needs some loving, no matter how long it'll last.
as long as you are happy with what you are doing, it's not a waste of time.
Short-time relationships are whatever you make of them. They can be the best time of your life - a short fling you'll always look back on (and remind yourself of Grease *sigh at the cheesiness*) but both people need to be in it with their whole mind and soul. If not, it can fall apart. The idea of losing the one you love is never an easy thing to grasp - especially when you know it's going to happen. He likely got too attached and didn't want you to go so he ran. I'm sorry he did.
Short term relationships are a waste of time to me.
I don't want to be with someone just for the moment.
I would want someone that could possibly have a future with me.
A mistake is worth a thousand successes.
If you go into the relationship thinking it will be a short one, then it will be meaningless. If you go into a relationship thinking it will last forever, but it ends up failing, then it will teach you a lot.
Good luck :)
As long as both of you are sure that's all you want, then it's okay.
Don't get too attached, and don't ask for more than what you've got.
If things are good, end the relationship on good terms and bring up the possibility of a long term when possible.
Um, seems pointless to me.
I'ts not the length, it's the strength of the bond and the impact they had on you.
Don't most of us prefer long-term? I mean, short-term will only leave you heartbroken and in need of some serious loving in the end.
they arent a waste of time.
but you could end up getting hurt in the long run :/
kinda going through that right now...
i love the blue nose pitbull in your pic~ CUTEE!.. anyways.. it all depends.. i know i am a long term relationship person. i dont like to date around and find someone new one after the other. it gets to be a bit tiring. you learn from short term relationships and who knows it could start out as being as a short term relationship and turn into a long one.. i guess its one way to not put a label on something and making it out to be a lot more serious than it has to be.
Waste of time, waste of money, waste of effort, in my opinion. It lowers the relationship quality on my end because if I know a girl is just going to skip out on me after 3-6 months, then I have almost no incentive to put any effort into the relationship, particularly because I don't really believe in staying friends with ex-girlfriends. I'm not going to sink time, money, and emotions into a girl that in all likelihood, I'm never going to see or talk to again once she decides that she's bored.
I told my current girlfriend when we started dating, "It's either a long-term commitment or nothing, I don't believe in short-term anything." And she felt the same way I do.
I think that you can learn something from any relationship, be it long-term or short-term. And that, in my opinion, makes it worth it.
Waste of time. Showing interest in one makes those looking for something deep feel that their excess would seem too much for you, or not be noticed at all. That's how I feel when looking at girls who've had short-terms and one night stands intentionally or without regrets. It's just plain foolish to believe one could have a short-term serious relationship, because it's a lie anyway.