Yes, guys, sex on the first date.
Girls who put out before the first kiss even happens. No courting, no 'butterflies', no anticipated phone calls. I'm willing to bet most people would call a girl who does this 'self-deprecating'. So would I.
In most cases.
I once did this.
What if I said I'm now married to the only man I ever did this with? Do you think it brings down the value of our relationship? My husband and I were talking about this last night. It became a topic because I feel it cursed my value as a woman from the start. Not anymore, because he knows me too well....but back then, after the fact. I always wondered if we dated afterward because he felt a 'guaranteed-transaction' was going to take place.
When I out-right posed this question to him, now three years later...his response was almost angry!
Essentially, he said he felt that we accomplished what most couples don't in a matter of 8 hours.
From the moment I stepped onto my girlfriend's porch to meet him (she threw a whole party just to introduce us) he was taken aback by me. He even said he felt like I wouldn't even give him another thought the whole night, he felt...intimidated. I actually thought he was wonderful and was silently praising the gods that my girlfriend actually picked someone I might be interested in.
Over the course of the party he tried to teach me to play
euchre. When I said I liked to drink Pinot Grigio he made a quick trip to the store to buy a bottle. We shared stories over wine on her front porch for four hours. We laughed so much and bonded so deeply. I remember him telling me he had never talked to a woman in such a way. When his best friend stationed overseas in Korea called his phone during our conversation, I was delighted to hear him say, right in front of me, that he had met an amazing girl he intended to keep. Right in front of me!
In the wee hours of the 'party' we made sandwiches together, went to the store together, took a walk through the neighborhood and had a first kiss. We held hands....we even danced by moonlight in an alleyway where he spun and dipped me.
As my girlfriend was retiring to bed for the night, she suggested I stay in her guest room. I'm sure she sensed how well she had done for me...because she obviously hinted at him staying too. I don't know if it was her suggestive language, or a combination of my ignored, long-overdue sexual needs and the success of meeting someone I was compatible with. Either way...we eventually made it to the bedroom.
Beyond that evening, he and I became inseparable.
I can see why, now, years later I would wonder if it had really been me or the sex that snared him....but when he regaled his version of the evening to me, I saw it for what it truly was. A chance for both of us to make a change in our relationships, crowned by basic human needs.
He never thought negative of me for it being so 'easy'. He had always found that evening to be beautiful.
It is probably the most romantic thing I've ever heard him say. ^.^
Could this possibly be one of the few instances of 'first-date-sex' being acceptable? Have you had 'first-date-sex'? What did you think about the other person?
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Comments (86)
NEVERRRR. i don't even kiss on the first date lol :D
Well, you ended up getting married, so I look at it differently now.
Yep - sex on the first date only once, and married him :) Something I'd usually do? Definitely not, but we connected, and obviously it worked out for the best!
I doubt I'd have first date sex. Even if it was a friend with benefits deal, I'd need to establish a friendship first.
it's different for every relationship. i definitely don't do sex on the first date, but looks like it worked for yall.
i guess it's all different for different people. and it all depends on how well the two connected.
there shouldnt be a stereotype about it. i believe that "Sex on the first date" situations could def work out. its all up the people. youve got an amazing story :]
People underestimate sex on the first date. Chances are that it wont kill the relationship before it starts but just strengthen it up. The only time it goes bad is if one of the people on the date went on that date with only the intent of hooking up and not getting a relationship out of it.
Well, I'll say you're incredibly lucky that things turned out the way they did. I'd never put out on the first date, no matter how awesome the evening was. I'm just the type of person who'd rather establish trust first.
Sex on the first date? HELL NO!!!! If it's a first date, obviously that means I'm just getting to know the guy, I'm not gonna have sex with him. That's just wrong. I'm not against kissing on the first date though.
My husband and I had first date sex as well. It wasn't my first time meeting him though. I don't think it depreciated the relationship. He apparently doesn't either, he read the blog aswell.
Why would he want to take her out on a second date, he already scored!
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - That's luck AND fate working its magic. Hehe!
Personally, I kind of make do with my sexuality, but if I want you as a partner, the whole first date thing is not a hit-it-quit-it deal. In fact, I went so far as to promise a date of mine that after this night, I would be back with plans to spend days together. If you were to have told me that all you wanted was sex, I'd send you over to Condomworld on Newbury St for a dildo.
I take what they give me and never talk to them again. If it was that easy for me it was probably that easy for someone else.
nope
wait, so you did it in your friend's bed? god, i'd be pissed at you. hope you at least washed the sheets for her.
No thanks. Even if you're my boyfriend for two years, you ain't getting any sex sorry :P I made my ex wait eight months before I was ready to have our first kiss. That never went down cuz we broke up before we even kissed.
hey it worked out for you guys ...and your married. i never kissed on the first date....or even had sex on the first date....
Aw :) That made me smile.
Wow that's a great story =) I think your story is one of those few exceptions.
that's sounds like an amazing first evening :]
I frown on the first date sex thing, but if the fire is there, then put the cookies in the oven right???
didn't kiss my girlfriend on the first date. she liked me a lot that she took me to a place to do the thingy. (even though I didn't do the thingy) Never thought of it as stealing cookies from a jar easy...
I think it would be the same if I did had sex on the first date.
wowwwww, that was way cute! I'm still really young, but I suppose if you guys were adults secure in yourselves and what you wanted in a relationship, it wouldn't be such a big deal, yeah?Â
There are always exceptions to the rule. =) I'm glad you found yours.
I haven't had first-date sex, but I did have second-date sex. Luckily, my story ended up like yours, and he's now my husband. I was so worried that I'd cheapened myself, and he worried that he'd pushed me too far. Of course, it all worked out in the end...:)
-Katie