Miss GiraffeI was talking to my friend recently, and she mentioned that once, she was with her mother and she said that her boyfriend had sold his unlimited MetroCard to her for a reduced price (I think there was a week or two left on the card). Her mom was a bit appalled and said that it didn't bode well if her boyfriend was a "penny pincher" (a loose translation to what she said in Cantonese). She asked my friend, Do you really want to be with someone who is always going to count his money? (Again, loose translation, sorry!)
What's even funnier is that he tried to hint for it back, and my friend played dumb long and well enough that he said never mind and didn't ask for it. My friend said that he is always extremely conscientious about money, which I said that's good, until she mentioned to the
extreme.
I know that some of you are going to say, no no money isn't a factor at all, I'm only interested in his personality, which frankly, I'm surprised, and good for you. I suppose I'm crazily superficial, but if we're going to date, I'd like to know you carry some dough with you because I am NOT going to be the only one supporting us.
What do you think? How important is money to you (and NOT in a golddigging kind of way), in a relationship?
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Comments (24)
I think if your main concern in your relationship is your money, you're not in a relationship with the right person.
He has to have money!
I want someone I can go out and do things with. I don't want to have to pay for everything because you can't & I want to go out. I can understand if you have a job and bills are sucking you dry. But if you live with your parents and have a part-time job at Burger King, well I need someone with a career path in mind.
:]
It's okay to be mindful of your money but it is not okay to be cheap when it comes to spending on your partner. No need for 100 dollar dinners and fancy gifts but really, if you're gonna mooch off your SO, you're kind of a loser.
I'm not sure that money is necessarily as important to a successful relationship as your attitude toward money. I think both partners need to have the same or similar attitudes toward money. My boyfriend and I have very similar attitudes toward money, and I think that's really what helps (especially now, while he's employed & I'm job hunting). Neither of us could ever be considered penny pinchers, but we also don't blow our money on ridiculous things on a regular basis.
omg...lol. that is ridiculous. money is a necessity but it shouldn't be a priority. i agree with your mom!
i'm not gonna say he ALWAYS has to have a lot of money - but, he has to be able to handle money well and make sound financial decisions. as do i. neither party should ever HAVE to support the other - at least not for extended periods.
True or False? "No Money, No Honey."
It's good to be fiscally responsible, but there's a limit on how much of a penny pincher you're going to be in a relationship.
money is quite important in the relationship actually, going out cost money, living together cost money,
it's true that money may not buy happiness (or it shouldn't, i guess) but not having any can really lead to a lot of unhappiness.
my bf had some money when we first started dating, and paid way more than he should have, including covering other people's tabs when we were out. obviously, the money he had ran out. he got a job, and though it was giving him more income and saving mine (my great grandma died and left a massive inheritance, so we were never tight for money) his cash wasn't really enough to help out with most of the bills we had. it didn't cause a lot of stress for us, because like i said i had gotten a hefty inheritance.
but now they inheritance is gone, and he's got a job that pays way better and has way more hours, and we need the income now. it doesn't really stress him out, but i always worry about money because i have considerably more bills to pay than he does. i stress almost every day about it. i'm not a penny-pincher though, in fact i have spending problems lol.
i don't think i could date someone who was though. money is important, because it's what makes the world go round. you never realize how truly important it is when you can't afford to buy groceries for a month...but it shouldn't be the ONLY important thing.
Money is important... but to an extent. You should be smart with your money, but you shouldn't be cheap.
It's important to an extent. It can buy you materialistic things. It can make you happy temporary. It can pay your bills, put a roof over your head, and food on the table.. but the most precious things that you want and need in life can't be bought with it.
Money clearly is not everything, but it, unfortunately, does play a huge factor in our lives single or not. However, money cannot buy everything. It can buy you materialistic things, but the awe of said materialistic things dies off, at least for me, within a week or two and then you are left wanting more. It can pay your bills, put food on the table, etc. What money can't buy or provide is a solid, meaningful relationship and a true legitimate one at that.
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if you're going to be frugal and penny pinch with your SO, that's pretty wrong.
My gf and I usually take turns paying for things. Her parents don't give her much money at all. No allowence or anything. They just give her money to barely cover food for one person and that's not everyday. If she doesn't have money, I pay for us. I know she's never holding money back. That makes me feel better about paying, atleast she's not being extremely stingy about her money. If I don't have enough, we cook or find food around the house.
I admit I do get worried about money sometimes so I try to save, but I never penny pinch. Honestly, alot of the times I wish I wasn't so poor so I can provide for her better and repay her for all the wonderful things she does for me. I think I'm just being a normal college student. I know how much I need for books and rent and all. There's a big diffrence in being smart with your money and being stingy. :)
Never date penny pinchers.Â
Both people in the relationship should have a job so each knows what it's like to earn money and know its worth. It can be taken for granted when one or the other always pays. I think a personal finance class should be mandatory for all high schoolers lol Kids are just thrown into the real world without knowing how to save and spend. Riiiidiculous.
Money is def important. There is no way I am going to be the only one paying for all the dinners, movies, gas, etc. In fact, when my boy and I first started dating.. he payed for EVERYTHING. For a whole damn year. But hey, it shows that he cares && that I'm WORTH it. Three years down the line, and we pay about an equal amount now.
When i was 14, my friend mentioned that everytime her mom buys her dinner, she gets the food money back from her dad.. geez.. imagine asking ur other half for 10 bucks everyday coz u bought him dinner?! WAT THE HELL!!!
I'll never live with a guy asking me to go dutch all the time. I'm cool even if i'm picking the tab but not splitting..that's for friends! & i agree its important to know that the guy has the ability to support at least himself & his lifestyle!
Of all my exbfs... i've only gone past the money hurdle with the current bf & we've shared finances from day 1 he made up his mind to join me when i was working in Hong Kong. We both make well enough to support ourselves and we don't even have a spreadsheet to see who spends more, makes more, or saves more.. It all evens out eventually anyway.. And because we know everything about our financials, we can even talk about making plans with our money together which imo is totally important for a serious relationship.
My parents split because of their differing views on money. My dad is also extremely conscientious about money - he will go to ridiculous lengths to save a few cents whereas my mom is willing to easily spend it. Love does not conquer all - it is not all that is required to maintain a marriage.
My personal finance teacher used that picture in a power point. >.>
Money is important to most girls, in that if there is enough of it, that is what is important. Money is a factor that is very attractive to girls. On the other hand, your scenario here involves money, but has more to do with the guy's personality than money. Yeah, it involves money...but the issue is that he's cheap. But not only that he's cheap, but that he's so cheap, that he's not even generous to his gf.... which is lame. You can be extremely frugal and smart with your money AND still be generous also.
I tend to "penny pinch" myself.... I'll use coupons to buy groceries and i don't like spending money on things i don't need... but at the same time, i have no problem spending money on my friends or family. The fact that he SOLD the card to his own gf is pretty ridiculous.
I think an excessive concern over small cents is a red flag *if you are not like that yourself or need to BE like that*. Especially if they seem to contort themselves over the issue and start dissembling over pressure to spend (even on something reasonable), as if a few bucks' outlay is some kind of forced blood drain. I dated a guy recently who steamed unfranked stamps off of envelopes and re-used them and stuff like that. That was one early red flag. It was followed by more such behavior, constant suggestions of his great generosity and allusions to his obscene wealth (which I could not have cared less about actually), but when the moment came to actually cough something up, such as once when I left something at his house and simply wanted it mailed back (not a big thing, either), he would ingeniously avoid spending, and use conversation and excessive fake sympathetic talk to distract me from the fact that when the issue was on the line, he wanted to hang on to a few lousy coins, to a genuinely insane Scroogelike degree, and he had lots, too, lifelong bachelor in a very high-paying professional position, had lost his last partner over thermostat issues apparently. I am not rich and I don't care about rich...I consider myself frugal. HOWEVER, I don't share the value of weighing fractions of pennies and ounces in my mind all the time, and I value my time more than wanting to spend my brain's resources doing that, and I realized we'd be incompatible.