Do You Date Outside the "Norm"?

Friday, 04 September 2009

Do You Date Outside the "Norm"?
Starting in high school we get a sense that we should date inside our social circles. The cheerleader dates the football player, the cheerleader does not date the band nerd or the hippie and vice versa. Even in college I've witnessed this same trend. Girls in certain sororities only dating guys in certain fraternities, dating within your major, whatever.
I'm not saying that dating within your social circle is a bad thing, I mean it's not weird for people to want to be with people that they have things in common with so when looking for a partner obviously you are going to go for people that are in the same groups as you.
But there are also the stories about the football captain falling for the bookworm and having this great romance. Have you ever dated someone who was completely different from you or at least not your usual "type"? Do you believe that opposites really do attract or is it better to date someone who you share many similarities with?

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In high school especially, it's frowned upon to date someone of a large age gap, i.e. a freshman dating a senior or a younger guy with an older girl. When I was a senior, I dated a high school teacher. I'd say that's breaking the norm.
- 9/4/2009 1:09 AM
- happyobligations@xanga (message)
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maybe this whole "social circle" acceptance was the issue but when i was in HS, I didn't date guys from the same school. When I was in 11th-12th grade, I started dating guys in univs to save the trouble. lol.

but since I was in the "teacher's pet" that knew all the groups in school.. (i was a floater), I pretty much dated jocks or fellow "teacher's pets." I wasn't interested in guys in goth makeup, in shop or those who volunteered in science labs (a whole diff. level of nerdism). lol HS is a smaller version of LIFE. with too many f*cked up stereotypes and socially constructed roles.
- 9/4/2009 1:21 AM
- kor_girl@xanga (message)
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i have a type, but it varies. so i guess there's no norms for me.
- 9/4/2009 1:26 AM
- eatdrinkandbemaryy@xanga (message)
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I never dated in high school. I'm starting to see a trend in the guys I date during college though. Need to break away from that trend. Haha
I think there should be a nice mixture of opposites and similarities...
- 9/4/2009 1:36 AM
- xkthily@xanga (message)
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@xkthily@xanga - what she said in last sentence.
- 9/4/2009 1:42 AM
- xXCrystal_RaindropsXx@xanga (message)
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All the time. If I like someone, screw what caste they are in.
- 9/4/2009 1:53 AM
- mynameisblueskye@xanga (message)
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Birds of a feather flock together.
or
Opposites attract?
Research shows a greater correlation between couples who share similar characteristics and happiness than couples who are different..
Of course, there are always exceptions.. but GENERALLY this is true.
Why date someone out of my "norm" --- (the norm is a very vague phrase btw) --- when I chances are that I'll find greater love if I stick to someone who is like me?
:)
- 9/4/2009 2:00 AM
- Starring_Hobo89@xanga (message)
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i've never dated outside the norm, like a guy from the other side of the tracks, but i've dated guys who were opposite of me in views, morals, personalities, etc. it's definitely harder but i seem to never get bored.
- 9/4/2009 2:02 AM
- superGchik@xanga (message)
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well idk back in HS i thought my bf (now- he wasnt then.) was WAY different than me. like totally different worlds. who knew we'd both grow up to be awesome dorks?
- 9/4/2009 2:05 AM
- Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga (message)
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no sorority bitches for me, thanks. hmm, i suppose no humanities majors either.
- 9/4/2009 2:07 AM
- TheNotoriousGOD@xanga (message)
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My "type" I thought was the outgoing, life of the party guy, with a little bit of a bad boy side. Whether he was "popular" in high school or just like me (one of those people who never had a clique, just friends with everyone), it didn't matter so long as he was wild and loud.

Well, needless to say, the bad boy, party animal was NOT my type. I accidentally ran into a quiet, shy, intelligent, skateboarder who also plays guitar at a party. At first I just thought he was cute yet "not my type", but something told me not to overlook him. Over 4 years later we're still together and looking to move in together soon and I've never felt happier or more in love lol. Looking back, I can't believe the idiots I dated or had crushes on.
- 9/4/2009 3:27 AM
- TheScaleDiaries@xanga (message)
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i'm dating a guy that's the opposite of who i am. i like to party, i like a lot of people around me, i know when to be serious and i'm very active in sport. my boyfriend is more quiet and likes to spend time with lesser people, he plays games like L4D and he breakdances. it takes a lot for him to sit down and do his work and procrastinates to the max while i like to study and get it out of the way and then play. but it works out for us and we make necessary changes (not dramatic ones) to make things work. i've dated a lot of guys outside my "norm" and it still works out. because i look at the whole guy and not just if he's a gamer, a football player, a nerd, etc.
- 9/4/2009 3:29 AM
- zockonzockon@xanga (message)
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i fricken love She's All That <333
- 9/4/2009 4:34 AM
- BlackJackBebe@xanga (message)
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- 9/4/2009 6:19 AM
- gulo@lovelyish (message)
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I only date people exactly like me.
I can't wait until cloning becomes common practice...
- 9/4/2009 6:27 AM
- SighIntoAColorfulEye@xanga (message)
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My boyfriends a bit of a geek, but not outwardly. I'm kinda the same way. It's pretty awesome. :)
As for other guys I've went on dates with, one was a jock, the other was a jock too, though he wasn't all about muscles or anything. We clashed.
- 9/4/2009 7:16 AM
- Fluxuater@xanga (message)
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@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I always frowned upon the freshman girl dating the senior guy because sometimes the senior guy has bad intentions. It's always depressing to see that freshman girl get all giddy about her senior Bf and then when she gives up the goods it's bye bye romance. Anyways... I never dated inside my race (which I would guess would be the societal-norm) but since it's my norm, I don't find it awkward. I do get angry when my friends are all "date a black guy!!" so it would make my life easier to date in the norm.
- 9/4/2009 8:23 AM
- SexInChurch (message)
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Normal people are scary, you have to watch out for the "Normals" because they usually have the weirdest stuff hidden in the closet. Besides what is the norm? I mean down south are Shit kickers the norm *cowboys/cowgirls*, or maybe Hispanics are the norm? What is the norm and who decides? I say be with the one who loves you for you and to hell with the rest of the world *as long as it is not illegal in your state*.
- 9/4/2009 9:21 AM
- fugita@xanga (message)
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as your tax bracket moves up, so does the pressure of dating within a certain social circle
- 9/4/2009 11:55 AM
- Ethonox@xanga (message)
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My boyfriend is "of a different class" than me, but it doesn't matter to either of us. I assumed when I first met him that he was completely out of my league. I have since concluded social status means little to nothing if the two people are otherwise incredibly compatible with each other.
- 9/4/2009 12:03 PM
- methodElevated@xanga (message)
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uhh, yeah.
- 9/4/2009 12:08 PM
- AnchorsAwayx@xanga (message)
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i like weirdos. that's pretty much it.
- 9/4/2009 12:29 PM
- danielle_thexdino@xanga (message)
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I dated an 18 year old college freshman when I was 15... people didn't really agree with my choice, but after seeing me with him for over eight months, they kinda left it alone. I usually go for the older/goal-oriented guys. I remember once that I had a crush on a guy within my social circle... other than that, it's usually guys that are older than me by like 2 to 3 years and outside my social circle.
- 9/4/2009 1:37 PM
- soniiuh@xanga (message)
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@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - er, that's because it's illegal if the age of consent is 18, in like CA and Alaska.... o___o;;;
- 9/4/2009 3:28 PM
- snapeful@xanga (message)
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nope, i keep within "asian, ambitious, college guy." if i say that, i'll get called upon as a racist, but whatever. i'm just being honest. besides, i prefer asian guys. and by asian, yes, i do mean korean, taiwanese, chinese, japanese, etc. not indian. i don't even know why i'm saying this, haha! but yeah, within my race and someone who's smart is my type. you know, the typical asian guy. but he can't be awkward etc.
- 9/4/2009 3:31 PM
- snapeful@xanga (message)
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