Wednesday, 02 September 2009
-
Are You Attracted to a Mama's Boy?
My brother is a serious mama's boy. He's the youngest and the only boy among two older sisters.
J is almost 30 years old, and my mom comes over to his condo from time to time to clean, do laundry and supply him with fresh toilet paper. As a matter of fact we all jokingly wonder how J manages to wipe his ass without my mom being around. Just recently he called my parents because he was having car trouble. The fool lives an hour away from my parents' house. Why on earth can't he find a reliable mechanic around his area? To top it off, his car is fixed and has been sitting at my mom's house for 2 weeks because he's too lazy to pick it up. The boy is currently unemployed.
Even though he isn't working, I can safely say my brother is not a loser. He gives my parents money from time to time and never asks for anything back. He used to have a job before the economy went to hell but is now living on a healthy severence pay. After many, many many years he finally has a girlfriend (praise the good Lord!) and from what I can tell, he treats her really well.
My beef with my brother I'm sure is mostly sibling rivalry, but there are some things about him that makes me wonder how any woman would find him attractive.
One weekend my husband and I invited J and his girlfriend to the beach and when I asked J to help my husband with the heavy stuff my brother couldn't even carry it properly. He just had this "duh" look on his face and stared at me with blank fascination when I explained the correct technique of carrying heavy equipment. I mean imagine me explaining to a grown man that he needs to use his legs and both hands for a good grip and steady balance.
Call me the typical woman, but give me a man who can easily carry me over the threash hold of a house that he built with his bare hands not someone who waits for mom to clean and decorate.
When I asked my mom why she still helps him out with the simple things that he can easily do himself she warns me, "when your son gets older you'll do the same thing." I told my husband and my friends to choke me if I even think about cleaning my son's apartment.
Now that I'm a mom I don't mind my son being clingy at 16 months old, but the case of my 30 year old brother seems a bit too much "mama's boy" syndrome.
Any woman dating a man like this? Any mama's boy/man care to rebute?
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: WaterfallPhilosophies@xanga
- About Me: I'm a new mom to a beautiful boy and a wife to a wonderful man.
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 12 Views: 0 19153 Comments: 0 560 View all posts by WaterfallPhilosophies@xanga
Comments (24)
I love a mama's boy... a guy who has a good relationship with his mother, who calls her and understands how to treat women well. This guy helps his mother -- not the other way around.
Your brother, however, is just plain spoiled.
yes agree, i think ur brother has developed a neediness or u know it will take care of things..or someone will take care of things for him.
@innocentsecret@xanga - Agreed
LOL, a woman at my church dated a mama's boy. one night one of his friends called, and his dad picked up the phone and said "he can't come to the phone, his mother is running his bath." he was 29.
having a good relationship with your mom and family in general is a huge plus. being completely dependent on her however, is not.
ahaha no if you are 30 yrs old.. you shouldn't be living with your momma anymore.. you should be moving out.. lol get your own place
hell to the no
he can be nice to his mother.. and treat her with a lot of respect.. but the second he starts inviting her to dates that were supposed to be just the two of us.. i'm out of there
you know waht? that's not uncommon. there are SO many mamas boys out there. are you the eldest? because i am. i have 3 other siblings, two brothers, one sister, and YEAH it pisses the hell out of me when my brother has no idea what to do at times regarding chores, laundry, or even just THINKING of the initiative to help out around the house. sometimes i think he's severely brain damaged, and its completely unfair for my parents to keep on babying them. none of the girls in our family have this problem, its only the guys. my youngest brother won't eat any crustaceans unless my parents break off the shells for them. its ridiculous.
I hate mamas boys, or any really emotional guy in general. i recently had a conversation with a friend where she asked if i would rather have a guy how cried every once in a while or never at all. i chose not at all, i need my man to be really butch, someone who can take care of himself and solve all his own problems.
i like mama's boys- but only in the sense that they are close w/ their mother and goes to their mother to chat and for advice. not to have his mama come over and clean and basically be his slave. if he cant take care of himself- how the hell is he gunna take care of a girl??
don't get me STARTED on my boyfriend!
he has lesbian mothers [four actually because they originals broke up and recommitted], a little sister, and an older lesbian sister.
perfect example, "hey you want to go out friday night?"
"let me see if my moms want me to do something with them, then maybe so"
i love him to pieces, but i come way after those six women. he would do ANYTHING to please them, it is sickening
@innocentsecret@xanga - agreed
btw, the picture just makes me lul so bad, I dunno why.
No mammas boy for me please!
@innocentsecret@xanga - second that.
NEVER!
A good relationship with both his parents is nice, but clingy to the point where it's unhealthy? No no no >_<
My boyfriend is the opposite, his mom is very distant and very cold. They don't even say 'I love you' or hug unless it's a special occasion. He treats me right though, so I guess I don't mind that sort of relationship.
I love mama boys because they have good relationships with their mothers and all.
But to the extent of being needy, over reliant and dependent on his mother for everything? You might as well just tell me he don't have balls.
I truly cannot stand some mama's boys. Some of those spoiled little brats think they can get away with alot and that means disrespecting girlfriends too. A guy needs to learn where to draw the line where family and friends are concerned and some guys fail to do so. Being loving and faithful to your family is great and all. But its illegal to have romantic relations with family so shape up guys.
@carly - You acknowledge that you come after 6 other women and you're still with you're guy. I respect you, I'd have fought to be the number one priority a long time ago.
Seeing as how guys eventually treat their wives the same way they treat their own mothers... Yes. I do like a good mama's boy. But when it comes down to it, I want them to like me just as much as they like their moms!
you know what. i have no problem if my boyfriend's mom came and cleaned the house, laundry, etc. i hate doing all of that stuff. haha. okay, i'm joking.
nothing wrong with mama's boy until the mum does EVERYTHING for them! like said above by many, mama's boy know how to treat a girl right! with respect and everything she deserves.
but when mum comes in and starts to do everything for him, he becomes spoilt and thinks all women should be like my mum and do everything for me! clean the house, cook me food, bring me beer, take care of kids..... etc. and then becomes one of those "thats women's job" kind of guy. I HATE THAT!!!! or they become dumb guys that don't know how to do basic things like putting clean dry plates back into the cabinet!
My guys/brothers/friends are all momma's boys, but they've got a different definition than you do. Their definition is a boy who loves his momma, and does what she says. They're gentlemen, respectful, strong, thoughtful, but their mommas have also raised them to be independent.
I hate mama's boys...guys who can't make a decision unless mom is there to help. But I'm dating one...how ironic.
my most recent ex was a major mama's boy. when he got sick, he would call his mom over me in the beginning of our relationship. i would be so upset at him because i wanted to be the one taking care of him, but eventually one time, he was really sick when he came over to visit me for the weekend and his mom was about 100 miles away, i took care of him and made him whatever he wanted to eat and from then on, he would always call me to take care of him. i didn't mind taking care of him because i wanted to prove him that i'm just as capable of it. also i wanted to prove to him that he doesn't always needs his mom to take care of everything.
No mama's boy for me! Actually, when my boyfriend and I started dating, his not being a mama's boy was a huge plus in my book. I've been with enough mama's boys to know a few things: 1) you will never be his first priority - mama will, because she does everything for him; 2) he will eventually expect you to be like his mother - doing everything for him, cooking, cleaning, etc (not that's there's anything wrong with being a homemaker, but for him it won't be a choice so much as an expectation); 3) he will not necessarily treat you better because he's a mama's boy - one of the most sexist assholes I know is a total and complete mama's boy, yet he treats all other women like shit, cheating, using them for sex, treating them like second class citizens (even his female co-workers get to do all his work, because he's the supervisor and that's "their job"). Knowing him like I do (a few of my friends foolishly dated him), I blame him to a degree (personal choice is a huge deal for me - you choose who you want to be, regardless of your childhood), but I also blame his mother. I met her twice, and it was easy to see that she's the one who taught him not to trust any other female but her, that no woman would be good enough for him, and that he didn't have to respect any woman who wasn't like her (seriously), because she's obviously always going to be the woman he compares all future girlfriends/wives to. This guy is 33 now, but you'd think he's 21 for all the life skills he has, and he only recently moved out of his mom's basement because she moved up north.
Even though I've never dated this guy, I've dated guys like him, and it never lead to anything good. Looking back, I'm not even sure why I bothered with boys like this, as I have an extremely low tolerance for people who aren't self-sufficient (barring medical reasons, etc). My boy and I have been together for two years now and he knows how to love and respect a woman without being a mama's boy. His parents had all boys and not one of them is a mama's boy, so not every mother feels the need to smother their son(s). She made sure all four of her sons could do everything they needed to be self-sufficient - even the two living at home do their own laundry, buy their own food and necessities, do their own cleaning, and cook their own meals. I have a lot of respect for her, because she never cut her boys any slack just because they were her "babies", and because she's still sane even after 30+ years surrounded by a houseful of men. It can be done!