Wednesday, 02 September 2009

• "Ur interweb 'lationship iz invalid."

  I want to respond to two articles. One about online relationships and one addressing love. It’s going to have to come in two parts because I’m long winded.

  It’s probably not uncommon to find that most of us have given a relationship (whether it was our own or a friend’s) the sticker of disapproval. And I think that’s fine, because in the real world it happens. But I would never tell someone their relationship didn’t exist or wasn’t valid to me because I disagreed with their choice. It’s rude and a little trashy.

  I’m tired of seeing online relationships get knocked because they involve dirty concepts, like talking to a stranger and having to meet someone you’ve only had phone conversations with. Isn’t everyone, at some point in time, a stranger to you until you take initiative to know him or her? People act like nothing bad ever happens offline, and that date violence and domestic abuse doesn’t occur every minute of every day. You can date someone for years and then be victimized by someone you thought you knew.

  There are plenty of relationships that start online and work out. Reading the comments on the post, there were numerous people who had good stories and positive experiences with internet dating.

  I’m not going to lie. I date “IRL”, but I’ve also done online dating (though not at the same time). I find some serious advantages to dating people online; when I meet someone in person through a friend or some miscellaneous place I happen to be, we talk of course. We get to know each other a little bit and possibly start dating. Most of that relationship has been created based on physical and material things, and because of that it’s acceptable to know the very BASIC things about that person. Or so society’s opinion would have us believe. 
  

  When I talk to someone online, all we have is that conversation so it generally tends to be more in depth. I can tell you more about the people I’ve dated online than I could about some of the people I’ve dated in what’s referred to as the “real world.”

  I also can’t even begin to explain the amount of trust I’m able to build, or how much I enjoy talking to people online whether they be friends or someone I’m dating. There is NO difference between having a relationship with someone online and having one with someone who lives 5 minutes away except for the fact that you can’t see them, or touch them, and both of those issues can be solved with visiting each other (and I have done that, and obviously my person has remained untainted by the blade of a crazed ax-murderer).

  Honestly, just look at what we do on Xanga. Most of us can say that we have a few people we talk to on here pretty regularly. And for those of you who don’t, think about what you put on your Xanga; things about your day, your most intimate thoughts, your art, your writing, etc. How can people say that online relationships (friendships, romantic interests, and otherwise) aren’t real when almost all of us are technically in one already?  

  The point is that relationships are what they are, and the feelings developed in those relationships are just as real and valuable as the ones created between you the people you date in your schools, or wherever you happen to encounter them.  Online relationships can and do work with effort, patience, and serious people; the only constant in failed relationships are the people, NOT the circumstances around which the relationship exists.

  Do you agree or disagree? 

  • 8:01 PM
  • 1328 Views
  • 74 eProps
  • 37 Comments