Miss Walrus 
While chatting with the BFF the other day, we started to talk about her current love sitch. Basically, last summer she (drunkenly, haphazardly) decided she wanted to hook up with our mutual guy friend--and her best male friend since middle school. I nudged her along & even offered the two a bed to sleep in at my humble abode. It sounded like an alright idea, both of them were single & there was an obvious attraction between them.
Now, it's over a year later & Mr. Mutual Friend is STILL obsessed with my BFF--while she has (unsuccessfully) tried to move on from him several times. When the feelings not there, it's just not there, ya know? So we were joking about how you
really shouldn't date your friends. Someone always gets hurt in the end.
But then I had to laugh because currently I'm hooking up with MY best guy friend!
Actually, I don't think "hooking up" really describes something that is official on Facebook. However, I think my guy (just like my BFF's male buddy before him) is taking things a little too seriously. I don't know what it is about these guys, but both of them said they had basically been waiting for us girls to decide it was "FINALLY TIME" to hook up. It's like they'd only stuck around through 6+ years of friendship because they knew that to one day they'd get a piece of that pie.
So it makes me wonder: Are males and females ever really "just friends"? Or is there always going to be sexual attraction on at least one person's end? Is one person in the friendship always hoping for more? I'm not talking about guy acquaintances or off-limit guys like friends boyfs or exes, but close guy friends. What do you think?
Comments (85)
yes, but it depends on the kind of ppl involved, though i've heard from several guys that guys and girls can never be just friends.
Well, I dont currently have any girl friends but im sure its possible.
It's possible for people to be "just friends", if that is what they both want. Once you cross over into hooking up with each other, things change way more quickly than you can imagine and you can't take it back. Someone is always going to end up getting hurt.
Of course they can. What a stupid question.
Yes, now will you people stop asking this question?!
Of course males and females can be JUST friends. How many times has Datingish asked this question anyway? Lol.
I was talking about this with my friend just yesterday. He said that guys run through a "What if?" screening process when they first meet a girl to decide whether she's girlfriend material or just a friend. They do it a lot more stringently than I ever thought possible.
I think it's possible to be friends without a sexual attraction happening. Certain people just aren't right for each other. And I think it is possible to stay friends even if one or both people is sexually attracted. (It's happened to me several times. And yes, it's frustrating at times, but if you have a good friendship, why ruin it?)
I don't think it's possible for a single guy and a single girl to be close friends for long before one of them develops feelings. It's just past experience... unless there's something that prevents them from hooking up, ex-bf/gf that are mutual friends, religion, etc
It is possible to be just friends. I'm friends with a lot of guys- but obviously, they are just friends because I'm dating a super awesome guy. I'm not really sure with my guy friends- but I'm almost 100% sure. I can't really think for them, but I'm not really attractive so they wouldn't see me as attractive, I think.
Yes. I have a guy friend who is friends with a lot of girls, and nothing is going on between him and them (or him and me) like that. And no, he's not gay.
But I think a lot of guys really do just become friends with girls because they are attracted to them and they want something to happen. My ex only started talking to me when he met me because, as he said, he thought I was cute. -.-
yes, they can be. I have five close friends and 3 of them are guys! We're all single and neither of us thinks that way.
My bestfriend is a guy and we feel nothing for each other.
I've had female friends but never really close ones. I also never really hanged out individually with them; always in a group -- which obviously acts as an obvious barrier.
Most of my close female friends are like sisters to me, so the thought of having a relationship with them is somewhat disturbing. The last time I asked a lady friend to be my girlfriend it ended with us not talking to each other. It sucks, because I really miss talking to her.
Anyway, I'm not interested in starting a relationship or "hooking up" right now, so all my female friends are just friends to me.
Does sexual attraction mean that a male and a female can't be friends?
How is it any different from a normal relationship? it might start differently, but they all end the same. So you might as well.
@joycemiles@xanga - Do your conversations with your guy friends and girl friends similar or different? I don't have any guy friends but I want, how should I approach this? Any lines not to cross?
I <3 friends!
and yes, like most people have stated, you can be just friends, but if you go into a friendship thinking "hmm I wonder if we could hook up.." then there might always be that possibility.
and in other news...
I't's like you're alwasy stuck in second geeeaar when it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year but, I'll be there for youuuuu cuz you're there for me tooooooooo
:D
VERY possible, I have several guys that are friends.
This whole concept just kind of pisses me off. Why CAN'T a dude and a chick just be friends? Because they hang out doesn't mean they want to secretly bone each other all the time.
yes, of course!
Yes. Or so I'd hope.