She was one of my friend's cousins, and we met at a public function with some of my friends. I just said hi, we talked for about a minute, and we really didn't talk after that for about three years, until she asked if I wanted to take her to homecoming.

I'm really shy, so it's rather hard for me to ask someone out. Maybe you could just find some new hobbies, where you'd meet a girl with similiar interests. For example, you already go to the gym and clubs, so you see plenty of girls there, most of the time. You just have to jump at the oppurtunities that present themselves. When you see one, JUST DO IT. The worst thing she can do is say no.

I feel your pain and frustrations.  I have almost a similar story, although I have asked out and gone on several dates since my last serious relationship.  Even with that said, I still feel out of the game and I wonder what needs to happen to shake me out of this rut.  First thing first; must locate my mojo again haha.

"My group of friends are very tight knit, and really don't have any outside friends that they could hook me up with. I work for a company that is male dominated; the only females we see are the occasional girls that walk in with their boyfriends. And I'm out of school. So it makes it that much harder to meet someone. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way."

Oh man am I paddling in the same boat as you in regards to those two paragraphs.  I feel your pain too since I'm out of school and in a male dominated workplace -- and even the usual places I go to don't have too many females.

If it makes it any easier, supposedly I'm told that girls are usually just as excited as you are when you talk to them; save for a few types that are hit-on on a constant basis.  Yea, I've been working on my game like pulling out attention-grabbers like a Rubik's Cube or training my neighbour's pet to jump into a girl so when I meet her I can apologise and show I'm sincere right off the bat LOL.

@soniiuh@xanga - lol yeah I guess slamming the door in someone's face is a great icebreaker!

@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - I had no problem finding dates back in high school, there was a plethora of ladies that I knew, and I also knew if they were single or not, which basically meant I was hand fed the information I needed. In this day and age of my life, it's not that simple.

"When you see one, JUST DO IT." Yeah I know, you're right, but unfortunately that's the hardest part, haha.

Seriously just go for it. You'd be surprised how many (single) girls would say yes if you approached them nicely and started slow with some general chat. I often see guys smiling across at me but if you want a girl to go out on a date with you, you really need to be the first one to take the step. :)

take up a hobby-esque type club. maybe you'll meet someone there :)

there is online dating. post a pic, wait a response and if you get lucky, you get a date! all from the comforts of your home/work

you don't have to go to school to hang out at school clubs or events :) you can even just go "visit" a friend whos already in uni, hang for abit during his/her break, and see if they can hook you up. im sure one of your friends is probably still in school. i find school related activities give you more of an opportunity to meet new people, and you can definitely use academics as an excuse, or just pretend you're thinking of going back to school, etc. who cares! or go to the school athletic centre, get a part-time job there, work out there? you'll definitely be able to chat up new people there anytime.

We had class together and got put into the same group for a homework lab assignment...And we had one class together each time since then, so we always had something to talk about. lol. But apparently he was scared to make a move until his friend talked to me and asked me how I felt. Haha. Once he got the "go" he asked and I did not reject. :) But he did make a bet with his friends that if I did reject, they'd treat him to some comfort food. lol.
I guess there's hesitation when you're about to do something and the result is unpredictable. Take a chance. It's better to have done than not to and regret, hm?

I'm afraid I don't have much to contribute, other than the sentiment that asking out 'total strangers' sounds like a hit-or-miss, more likely the former.

As for confidence...I struggle with that too, but I think the only real way is to JUST DO IT. It's not in my personality, and seemingly not yours, to be up for asking people out or even approaching them, so I guess if you're really interested in someone, you just have to care enough to take the initiative.

actually funny story with me... i had been dating a girl that was as you said an emotional up and down so i took the next year and change and just slowly learned more about myself and such. i met my now gf when i went back to my college to guest chef (i had been a chef there while in school) she was working in catering and helped out. we hit it off and became friends. however, we didnt start to date until last month and here is why, we both still had to figure ourselves out, and along the way i tried internet dating, which is for some, while not for others, try everything you can.

I work 5 days a week, at least 50 hours per week, so going out after work is like asking to die the next day, and weekends are spent recovering from the week. its a bad routine, but tried internet dating and went on a few dates met some ok people, and a few really down right bad people. my no gf came down as a friend at the end of july and we spent 4 days together (i have to thank mother nature for this, met game rained out so she based herself out of my house) and then we had a great dinner out as friends and things clicked...

really it is just how things fall, dont constantly look and something will be there... it could be your best girl friend that is right for you... dont always look, let things flow!

I think the key is don't ask strangers out. Don't look at a good looking girl and go "I should ask her out". That will destroy your confidence unless you've done it a bunch of times already. Also jumping straight into a relationship before knowing someone really well tends to end badly, at least that's been my experience.

As most people here have said they were friends first and only started dating after a few months. So, don't ask a stranger out. Talk to strangers. All of them. Not just the really good looking one's but any of them that strike you as interesting in the slightest. You aren't looking for a GF but a friend. Once they are a friend you can decide pretty easily if they are right for you and it will be much easier to ask them out. At the very least you will know how to set up the perfect date for them.

I'd also like to point out that I've found it very easy to flirt with waitresses so if you're looking for a kick start just start going out for meals with some friends and work your magic.

Ok, I'm one of those skeptical girls. I get hit on a lot and I worry about intentions. Most girls aren't like that, they just enjoy the fact a male is talking to them. What attracts me though, is when a guy seems sincere in everything he says. He's not too forward and he doesn't come off like he's trying to jump in my bed. If you're not comfortable asking for a phone number, ask for an email address. Slowly start progressing your interaction toward lunch or coffee, then maybe dinner. If she seems timid, lunch is better. If you get a good vibe, definitely offer to take her to dinner first. Lunch is always casual and something you do with friends so it doesn't seem romantic. Just be yourself. Confidence is important. I hate when guys stare at me in that dirty way, but I hate it more if they have the balls to and they just come off cocky. You have to have that middle ground. "I noticed your eyes are a lovely shade of green. My name is___, by the way." Start with a compliment and everything is easier from there.