My boyfriend now is really calm and easygoing; however, the guy I dated before him had a horrible temper. It never went as far as him physically hurting me, but he'd scream and make cruel comments that would really get to me. I'm prone to anger as well, and sometimes when I'm embarrassed or upset I get defensive and it comes off that way. Thinking about my past situation and how my current SO must feel when I lose my temper, I got to thinking about the ways that we handle our emotions and how our choices ultimately affect our relationships. What do you think? Would you date someone with a bad temper or a history of violence?
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Comments (38)
I am dating someone who has a bit of a temper when everything goes wrong, but I wouldn't change her for the world.
No
Prone to violence? No. Bad temper? Yes.
I actually have quite a temper and someone took a chance on me.
Everyone has a temper. And yes, everyone also has a bad temper, too. I'm generally quite nice, but there are certain things that will truly get me MAD MAD MAD.
If it goes to physical violence, I say HELL NO.
But getting mad? It depends on to what degree. If you end up arguing and yelling 24/7 and have no time for love, I don't think that would work for me.
Temper? Depends. Violent? Depends. It is possible to level some character flaws out of people. Others they should work on before dating. I would rather see someone's dark side early than late in a relationship though.
My husband can go from his normal, easy-going personality to a red-hot temper in a split second. But he can also calm down that fast. His temper is scary but only because of his size (He's 6'4", 245). I know that no matter how mad he is, he is never going to hurt me or our son, so, I don't let it bother me.
Wow. I'm the one that is known to have a bad temper... as in screaming during an argument or whatever, I don't physically hurt anyone.
My ex was the calm one who tried to soothe my burning anger whenever it happened, while I was the one who would bottle everything inside and then explode when I was in an argument. That's one of the bad things about me.
@soniiuh@xanga - same here...though I don't result to violence, I just get upset quickly and start to talk back as much as I can.
Most of the guys I've dated are pretty easy going, except for the last guy I dated. He had the same temper as mines so we sort of butted heads a bit. But he was a little more calm than I was majority of the time.
My ex left me because of my inability to control my temper. Having anger issues really does hurt both parties however since that past relationship I've learn to control myself and think rationally. I really needed that big wake up call to get back to my senses and in a way my ex was a sacrificial lamb. till this day i still regret. So in conclusion i don't think you shld date a guy with a bad temper cause i dont want you or anyone to go through what i put my ex through.
The guy I'm currently dating has a bad temper. And so do I.
I have a bad temper and big anger issues....should see a doc.
No. Coz that might lead to violence. My friend almost dated a guys with bad temper. He threatened to beat us (her friends) up if we tell her not to date him (which obviously we did!). Serious or not that's a bad sign.
i wouldn't. it'd be scaryy
No because communication is really key in a relationship and it's hard to communicate when one person is screaming over the other all the time.
My ex had an awful temper...like yelling and screaming at me over the littlest things. Also calling me names and saying humiliating things. I don't think I would date someone with a temper now...it was super embarrassing because he would lash out at my friends and then not apologize for it. My whole family knew how he treated me so I felt like I was constantly hiding my relationship. He was super hot and cold, I couldn't deal with that again. My boyfriend now is super calm and collected, which I love.
I can't imagine wanting to be with a bad tempered someone and having to "tame the beast". You know when someone is mature and with adequate relationship experience when said someone is calm instead of ill-tempered as an indication of having learned patience.
Really depends on what they do. Of course you shouldn't date someone who's physically violent or who takes out their anger unfairly on you with rude or hateful comments. I have a temper with many things. But I never take it out on other people in any form. I care about the people I know and even mad I wouldn't do anything against them. I normally take it out on myself or just objects.
Dating a guy with a bad temper can be disgustingly exciting in a way. He's a drama magnet and you get front row seats to the freak show. It gets old quick though and you better have the patience of Mother Theresa.
no. there's only room for one of us in the relationship.
my boyfriend is the most easy going guy in the world, i swear i could call him a worthless sack of shit and he wouldn't get pissed. not really but you get it.
i have a short fuse, so if i dated another person with a short fuse we might clash. so i guess i would have to see how that went over. i would never date someone who had such a bad temper that they were violent or said hurtful things towards me though.
i have a pretty bad tempre when im angry. i say mean things. i feel really horrible but my emotions start to take over. Now i think Im realizing i should give myself a little time before i react because it can make a difference on how I view things after ive calmed down
nope.
Uhh, nope.
unless they're willing to change. then no
No. Freakin. Way.
if you can't handle your temper in an adult way, you're not an adult, and I don't date children.