Miss Gorilla
Before we got together, my boyfriend and I were close friends first. Over the past year that we've been dating, we've continued to develop a strong friendship that means the world to me. Due to our growing bond, we have come to spend almost all of our free time together. Sure, we both work and I am also a full-time student. We have other friends and separate hobbies that keep us occupied. However, for the most part we dedicate all of our time to each other.
It plays on the fact that he is not only my boyfriend, but also my best friend. We always seem to opt for spending time together, rather than apart. I value my free time and I know that he does as well, but we have fallen into a pattern that depends upon him practically living in my apartment and our schedules revolving around each other. I worry that eventually this will cause problems in our relationship. What if we fight more often? What if we get sick of each other? Have any of you ever run into this problem before when in a relationship?
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It all depends on the couple, really. I see my boyfriend several times a week, but I usually want a day or two apart to miss him :]
Why borrow trouble? If you're not fighting now, and you're not getting sick of each other, then go with it. If you end up fighting or getting sick of each other, take a couple days off before you see each other again. This is an easy fix, and something you shouldn't worry about until it becomes a real problem. Which, it sounds like, isn't the case right now.
-Katie
@akatiegirl - agree.
i'm sort of in the same situation as you.. my boyf & i practically do everything with each other. granted, we do live together, but even when we go out with friends, clubbing, or free time it usually involves the both of us. right now, i'm not questioning it. everything is going smoothly, so why question a good thing? i think i'd deal with the problem at hand if & when it happens. right now, i'm just making with the good, & taking one day at a time. :)
My ex and I didn't really have a problem seeing each other two or three
times a week since I was in high school and he was in college and we
lived an hour away from each other.
If I get sick of seeing an SO every day, then obviously... I shouldn't be with him. I should be with someone who I can talk to all the time and see everyday without ever getting annoyed or sick of it. What if we're married and I can't stand living with him? 1) That will suck and 2) That probably wouldn't happen cuz I'd move in with him before we get married and try the living together thing before we tie the knot.
Either way, I don't think anyone should be with someone they are quickly annoyed by. That's a sign you shouldn't be together.
Well, just think about it this way: what if you split up? You never want to give everything to your boyfriend, including all your time, because what happens when he's gone? I'm not saying you will break up, but what if you do? Just make sure you aren't spending all your time with him, that you still have other friends and you enjoy spending time by yourself or doing other activities that don't involve him.
as long as you're not isolating yourself from your friends, then it's fine. I think the problem with spending too much time together with an SO is more that you lose other friends and stop participating in other activities that you normally enjoy, not that it will make you fight more. If those things aren't happening, then go ahead, spend your free time together.
I don't think there is such a thing as spending too much time together. If and when you get married, being together and spending time together is the only thing you have together.
I usually see my boyfriend once a week but when we see each other more than that we usually fight less. I think that you should get used to seeing each other a lot because it's a good thing. But if it starts to affect your school, work or social life with your friends, then it could be a sign that you're spending too much time together. Take advantage of it! Not everybody is as lucky as you two.
Patterns can create problems so get a new hobby or two and don't let your lives revolve around each other yet. It could make your relationship boring.
No! You love each other, there no reason for you to be apart if you make each other happy.
Love the fact that you can see each other everyday. Some aren't that fortunate (:@akatiegirl - My exact thoughts.
If there isn't any problems now, and you are enjoying each other's company, so why worry about a non-existent problem? It doesn't sound like there is a real problem right now, so I say enjoy the time you spend with your boyfriend :P
i see my boyfriend everyday for almost the past year. all my free times basiclly goes to him. it could either make you sick of each other or you can grow stronger. it depends on the couple.
@akatiegirl - exactly.
If its not broken, don't fix it.
i think you're good as long as you actually devote some time to your friends and family, because there is nothing worse than the friend who morphs into a siamese twin pair and excludes all others.
Only you know your situation fully. You will have to be the best judge of how well you spend your time. It makes sense to spend much time together. However, you don't want to be a complete disaster (for example, no other friends or things to keep you occupied) if you two should ever break up.
Good luck! Be smart : )
Im sure everyone is different. In my case, I have been dating my fiance' for almost 4 years once I got my own car and could come and go as I please, we spend everyday together. Once in a while he'll spend the night with friends, but most days we are together from the time he wakes up, untill he goes home to sleep.
In school we'd ride together, so I'd just hang out at his house everyday after school.
We don't get sick of eachother, we rarely fight.
So I guess it all depends on you.
I have to say, just don't worry about it. if the relationship is healthy, and you're happy, and everything's feeling right, then don't worry about it so much before it actually happens. me and my SO have been together for over a year, and we're best friends, too. fighting? no, I don't think we've ever had a fight. maybe I've gotten annoyed or we've misunderstood eachother and gotten a little iffy, but I don't think it's ever been anything serious. getting annoyed or sick of eachother? never. I mean sure, sometimes him repeating one line of the same song over, and over, and over is annoying, but who hasn't been there? plus, it's all just joking around pretty much. I've never seriously gotten annoyed or wished I hadn't spent the day with him. I love to spend my time with him, all of my spare time, and we have a schedule too, mostly because of school and a 30 minute drive. but it works.
I hope this lightens your worries, because really you shouldn't worry.
i moved in with a guy before we were even bf/gf. i was sure it wouldn't work out, and i'm still surprised that it did. we've been living together for nine months, and have been technically together for almost 8...
we hardly fight at all, maybe little things here and there because i'm a female and i nit-pick (not to stereotype all females or excuse my behavior, just saying) and i get worked up over silly things for no reason often...but we've only had maybe three major fights. it's sometimes an advantage that we live together because it meant we couldn't just walk completely away from the sitaution--we had to solve it. i really think it strengthened our relationship, although i wouldn't recommend this for everyone. we just got lucky.
and i don't think, with your busy life, that you are spending too much time together, especially since you also spend time with other friends too. but you guys have tons of history so i wouldn't worry too much about fights...if you try you can make it through pretty much anything.
as for getting sick of each other, that can be solved by just taking a few days without seeing each other...most likely you will realize you would much rather have him around then have him gone. if you don't, then maybe it's time to reevaluate your relationship.
but if things are going well so far, don't worry about what might happen. it'll bring unneccessary stress and in turn cause problems...nasty. so just relax and enjoy your time together :)
My boyfriend and I are still kind of like that, but now we spend at least a few days apart in a week. We've been fighting less, and it's more special when he's around too!
i don't think there is anything wrong with it. as long as you are both clear with the other that they can go hang out with their friends without you whenever they want, and then stick by that statement, you are just in a really happy place. my SO and i were like that when we weren't long distance and that is the happiest we ever were. the only fights we ever had was when he would suddenly freak out that he wasn't hanging out with a huge group of friends like he was used to doing before me, and then i would say, okay--go have fun. and i would hang out with my girls and it wouldn't be very long before he was texting me that he would rather be with me and he was running back to hang out with me 24/7. lol
now we are long distance and i can tell you right now, THAT is what hurts a relationship. it is soo hard. and i would give anything to be practically living with my best friend again.
If it's not a problem now, don't start any. But if you feel like you are not having enough time with your other friends, make plans with your other friends...he can also spend time with his other friends.
what..
I was worried about that with my boyfriend, so I told him I need my "Anna-time", so on weekends, one of the nights or days, he knows that I need my time alone, and he either has his free time, or hangs out with friends. That way we get some time to breathe.
UM! NO! lol my bf and i are best friends also, we do the exact same thing as you guys and we are into our second year (we were friends for a year first) so technically our 3rd year dependin on how you look at it. and we still enjoy spendin time together as if it was the first time. its still refreshing and great :D good luck
My family and friends said I was insane, stupid, and asked me to rethink my decision when I went to visit my long distance boyfriend and ended up staying. We've only been together a few months, but this seems like the most natural thing in the world. Maybe I am crazy, but he and I get along together so well that living with each other works, and we wouldn't have it any other way. He's glad I didn't go back home, even though I've pretty much invaded his apartment. He tells me its nice to have someone to come home to, and his apartment is perpetually clean! We have our nights though, where one or sometimes both of us go out and do seperate things with our friends to get that free time and space so we're not smothering each other. So far the only thing we "fight" about is who is making dinner or whose driving to the store for a much needed mountain dew run. Over all, its not bothered us to be working around each others schedules, or spending so much time together.