I was never able to maintain friends with exes or even guys I've just hooked up with. I know some girls who are friends with all of their exes or even guys they've dated and hook up with but not relationship status worthy.
Isn't it hard? There's feelings involved or is it okay if you have both moved on?
In my case, it's someone that I was involved with for a month. Things didn't work out as planned so we decided to back off. Only thing is, it's hard not to think about him or want to call him. I'm sure he feels the same way too because he keeps calling me and texting me. But he's the one who's telling me he doesn't want a relationship right now and that he's not ready for one but he wants to be my friend. What? I have enough friends.
To me, if we didn't work out, he needs to not exist. After all, do I really want to see him with another girl?
Comments (42)
I'm friends with my ex...
We didn't talk for a few months so both of us could get over our feelings and be comfortable seeing each other as friends whenever we would decide to hangout. It's obvious both of us are over each other... I mean I'm over him and he appears to be over me, too.
He's been dating this one girl for the past few weeks and I've been just wanting to be single and just concentrate on school. I'm okay with him dating her too, actually I don't even care lol. If he likes her... then why should I stop him? It's not like he's mine or I have any feelings for him. he;'s free to do whatever he wants to do.
ugh personally, i cant do it. i need to have friends that i can rely on. it gets really confusing when they've hurt me badly, or vice versa.
It needs a mutual understanding. If one person can't commit to just a friendship, then it's not possible.
to hell with it. just move on and find another guy to 'think' about. no use waiting around for him
yea im in the same situation...things ended badly with us. Its gotten to the point where he didnt even want to pick up my calls anymore when we were together. Now he acts like we can still be friends after being so rude like that. Its just a subliminal message that he doesnt want to hear anything about me anymore and so I dont let him into my life at all anymore.
This is how my mind works: The boys I meet fall into separate categories. Some are just acquaintances, some are friends, and some are possible boyfriends. My male acquaintances stay that way, and so do my male friends. When a guy is a possible boyfriend, I have a hard time seeing him any other way. Like my ex. He wanted to be friends after we broke up, but I couldn't do it. When I talk to him, I can't just see him as a friend, because of the fact that he's been so much more than that. It's hard for me to make the transition. I might end up being friends with him eventually, but I really don't know.
It's hard (for me, at least) to have a romantic relationship with someone and then go back to saying, "Hey, what's up? *rest of friendly conversation here*." I really just can't do it. So, you're not the only one who has a tough time with it.
Yeah it's hard. Especially when you still like the person and know it can work, while they just quit and stopped loving you. And I'm trying to move on and be friends, but they don't even want to see me, talk to me, hang out with me, anything, (yet they claim they are trying to be my friend?) It's hard.
AGREED---ch0w@xanga-
its hard, but not even worth the effort most times
My last relationship ended with her totally breaking my heart and yet she still wanted to be friends. I can't make that transition either. Since someones hurt me on a totally deeper level than most people get to know me, I can't really call her a friend. So we just stopped talking totally. I'll probably never speak to her again, which is okay with me. In my opinion being friends with ex girlfriends/boyfriends is useless. Its not a friendship that really grows after they've hurt the hell out of you.
I can't do it. It's always a race to see who can move on faster when you break up.
I'd say it depends on the person.
One of my exes, I keep in contact with every once in a while just to keep contact and stay in touch, he was my first love.
Another ex, I can't even look him in the face for the things he did to me, I really really don't like him. Especially since he still hangs out with MY friends. Peh.
And my most recent ex, we are really good friends!! When we dated, we just acted like friends, but kissed once in a while. Now that we've broken up we're pretty close and talk a lot =)
So from my experience, it just depends on the person and if you ended the relationship on good terms or not.
I can't. My first ex I don't even know where he is, let alone have a friendly relationship with. My second ex I rarely speak to, but when I do, it's never anything nice. I can't possibly be friends with someone that I was once romantically involved with.
It's different for everyone. I mean, my ex and I were so in love, and we dated for 2 years, but when we broke up, we could NOT be friends, it was hard, and he was always in my business, and blah blah. But after a while of not talking, we had both gotten over it, and yeah it's hard to think of him with other girls, but it comes with the territory, so you gotta deal with it. Now we talk just fine, and we have a nice friendship. For some people, it's better to be friends, because they know you better than anyone, and they understand you. So...for you, it might be too hard, so just do what you think will put the least amount of stress on you.
@IMahal_IKita@xanga - I agree.
However, only certain relationships and their respective situations will work out.
I agree they need to not exist. its def not healthy to have daily reminders that you guys are no longer together, while at times it feels like you are. blah good luck
My best friend was my partner for two years and one week. I think it can work if you let it.
It definitely depends, but I have had trouble being friends. For me, it's easier to stay completely away to let feelings dissolve. Sometimes I wonder, what is the point of being friends if he hurt me so much? I don't want to think about the whole thing, let alone speak to him! It takes maturity and understanding to be friends. I can't come to an understanding. Perhaps it's because we weren't really friends in the first place =/
I'm not really friends with any of my exes. But, I'm still really good friends with a guy that I hooked up with/dated for a month about a year & a half ago. I think we went over a year without talking until one day I decided it wasn't awkward anymore. Now, we can talk about our relationships & dating failures with each other. I think it just really depends on the person and if you still have feelings for them.
If there aren't any lingering feelings of wanting to be with them, then I don't think it's a problem. I'm friends with all of my exes (and the guys that have been potential boyfriends that just didn't work out). At first it can be weird seeing them with other girls but it's not as though I'm upset about it, it didn't work out for a reason so they're probably better suited to be with another girl, just as I'm better suited to be with another guy. And my exes were big parts of my life so I don't feel like I should just cut them out of my life completely because they meant so much. It definitely takes awhile for a serious relationship to become just a friendship, it's definitely not a good idea to try and be friends right away, but after things have cooled down and both people have had time to think things over and put the bad stuff behind them, being friends can be rewarding.
Personally, I can't do it. :\ For me, it's too difficult being friends with an ex.
I think it's silly not to want to be friends with someone just because you can't be their girlfriend. What will happen in a couple of years, when you're dating some other dude, and you'd think of this guy as just a friend anyway? If you like someone, there's no point in just totally breaking off all contact, because what if this person turns out to be an amazing friend?
Cannot be done.
i have never been able to maintain friendships with any of my exes. they all suck anyway :P
at first, i felt that way about my ex, if our relationship didn't work out, i didn't want to see him with any other girl, let alone him existing but after a while, my ex and i talked about the reason why our relationship failed, we became friends and now, he's like my best friend. i tell him every thing about my relationships and he does the same. i mean if we can't be lovers then why not be friends. we hang out together, go out for drinks and dinner, but we're strictly just friends. it's totally acceptable.
it's hard to say..some exs remain friends and others don't.. it all depends