Can you fall for another person while still in a long term relationship? Would it be just infatuation/crush? It means nothing, right?
My best friend has this loving boyfriend (been together for 3 years) - great guy and has a nice sense of humour. This other guy came into her life when her boyfriend decided to go away for a while with his music group which can last for a couple of weeks to a month. This other guy is hot, tall and sweet ....a charm! He keeps on flirting with her and tries to hug her but she backs away because she knows and the other guy knows that she's committed. She keeps on thinking about this other guy but at the same time she thinks about her BF ..how great he is too. Every time she bumps into this other guy, he winks and then her heart just goes off, lol.
What should she do? I know her BF is not her husband, but commitment is commitment.
Well I think it's just a crush! Just infatuated by his hotness and charm. She will get over it. I think sometimes in a long term relationship, couples do get bored so I guess they just need to really spice things up a bit.
** What should she do?! Have you fallen in love with another person while still being in a long term relationship? OP's note: this post does not relate to me
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Comments (35)
she's probably just enjoying the attention she's getting from said new guy while her BF is away. She still loves him, it's just hard being away from the one you love simply because of the physical factor and because you don't get as much attention from them as you would when they're home.
Chances are he's just filling that void until her BF gets back.
Yes I have, and I dumped my BF at the time because realized it wasn't fair to him and I never regretted the decision since.
Not saying your friend should do as I did, but she should really think about her situation. If she's looking at other guys maybe she shouldn't have a boyfriend.
@WaterfallPhilosophies@xanga - cool, i like it. but sometimes it just very hard to give up someone really good to you. we are all greedy..
every1 around me falls 4 me cuz im just 2 damn sexy omg
@t_zie@xanga - Suuuuuure
@daniellelove - agree. i mean if it happens continuously even after he's back well ... i'd start to reconsider. but i also know there are some guys who just kind of like to "get off" on stealing the attention of another man's woman. wrong, yes. but. dk. it happens.
i think she's just infatuated with the other guy because he's kind to her and shows his affection to her. i guess we all get that way when someone's giving us their attention. it's difficult to distinguished if she's just enjoying the affection or if she really likes them both at the same time. this happened to me once but even though the other guy was giving me a lot of attention, i was already committed to my bf so i decided to stay faithful and tell him that we're just friends.
I think your friend was just carried away due to the absence of his bf. Guess, your friend and her partner do not have any constant communication and other exciting activities to be done on LDR to spice up their relationship. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but too much absence makes the heart forget. Hence, I think you should advise your friend to have a heart to heart talk with his boyfriend and rekindle the passion they have for one another before your friend falls for that charming hot guy! Not a bad catch though. LOL
damn i'd only wish i had that many options .. loll 1 is enough .. now two? lucky.
idk, but most girls like to be courted...
it happens. I wont lie i love the attention but I would never trade it for my husband. Shoot if the guy is hot and he is showing her affection. I mean......what girl wouldnt feel good about herself?
But its up to her whether or not its more then just that.
I dont know ONE human being who doesnt flirt....even if we dont like to admit it!
Who does SHE like more?
Try swapping the place of the two boys and pretend the new boy is the boyfriend and the boyfriend is the new boy. Then you can really compare who the better person is. In reality, and in this imaginary scene, who would she choose? If she would choose the same person for both scenarios, then she has a winner. Simple.
loool. dodgy.
While she loves her boyfriend, she'll probably wonder what could be.
But she needs to ask herself if he is worth the risk of leaving her guy to be with the new one.
I was in this situation and I realized that I love my boyfriend too much to leave him for a guy I just met.
And it's good that she is making her stance obvious.
But if she decides that she may want to be with the new guy, she shouldn't jump right into the relationship with him. She needs time to cool off, so to speak, from her relationship with her current boyfriend.
Well, since her boyfriend is away, she isn't getting all the attention and hugs that he'd normally give her, at least she's rejecting him for hugs and what not. She should probably tell this guy off..
i haven't been in a long term relationship but i was talking to a guy for a few months.. i really liked him a lot. i was still thinking about my ex. haha maybe same in a way. it can happen.
loads of things can happen
If I was in a long-term relationship and happened to meet a new guy and start to like him even fall in love with him, I think I would re-evaluate my relationship with my SO before making any big decisions. You can't stop what your heart desires, and if I wasn't feeling it anymore with the SO, then I'd move on from him.
If this were me, I would think if I was with my SO just because we had been together for a long time or if I actually loved him.
Been there done that .. Its hard do to deal with this.. sometimes its the fact that your over your bf but you just dont want to let him go because you have been through so much together and u dont want to hurt him yet u dont realise that. ANd sometimes it is because you love the attention he gives you when ur bf is not there you should talk to ur bf and discuss it and explain and try to figure if u both feel the same way. Its the only way i belive can help
Interesting question. This is the first question I've seen that I have no opinion about. Maybe it's because I've never been in a long relationship. But isn't the point of dating to find the person you wan't to marry? so what if you would actually have been happier with the new guy/girl? but i'm not sure what level of commitment is required in a long term relationship. to me personally, i would think if i am dating someone for 3 years...i plan on marrying them. i mean, i've broken off relationships much earlier than that...even though i still liked the girl, but i knew it wouldn't last in the long run, and so i felt it was always better to end it early.
so if it came to that point for me... i think (or hope) i would ignore the new hot girl. i think there will always be a hotter, smarter, funner, charmingier, richer, etc etc girl that comes along in life, but the hope is that I am fully content with my SO.
if she's truly interested in the other person, she might want to take a break from the person that she is currently with. not date, figure out what she wants.
It's ridiculous to think that when you're in a relationship you shouldn't be attracted to other people. The mark of a strong relationship is when someone attractive comes along and you stay with your SO. Flirting is fine. Lusting is fine. It's the action that isn't, and as long as you don't act, it's not a big deal. We're all human.
She might want to be careful. One thing can lead to another and the next thing you know, a crush can turn into a full-blown affair.
@daniellelove - I agree.
If she really wants to be with her boyfriend, then that other guy is just an obstacle that she'll tackle and overcome.
@t_zie@xanga - zomg stop bein such a sexehh rebel n hittin on gurlz on teh internetzz!! stalker!!1