Friday, 28 August 2009
-
I Want a John Tucker
I want a playa...and by playa i don't mean the Spanish word for beach. Okay, so before I get flooded with the "oh-em-gee you are so crazy girl never trust a player" comments, let me explain.
Now, I don't want a guy who is *ahem* actively playing, but I've decided that i prefer the more experienced ones over the good-two-shoes "uhm you look really pretty today" ones. It's weird, I know, but trust me it makes sense. Lately the guys that have been hitting on me have been: polite, nice, smart and definitely interested. As flattering as the attention is, I see nothing in it for me. I mean ,where's the challenge? The first time you talked to me you told me you thought I was pretty, so do you think I really believe that you're interested in what my position on healthcare is? or my favorite flavor of ice cream? It's true that guys can be infatuated with your personality - after all, "beauty gets the attention and personality captures the heart." But, honestly you can't really appreciate the beauty of a real Louis Vuitton bag if you've haven't gone through a few fake ones first.
Another problem with the so-called "nice guy" is that they go to a lot of different girls with their sheepish ways telling friends of friends to "subtly hint" that they find you attractive. Sorry hun, I'm just not falling for it. Even worse is when that "I think you're reaaaaal cute" actually works on some poor attention-starved teen (in most cases) and she agrees to go on a date - or worse, commit herself for the next 3 1/2 months through text message. And what do you know, those long, wonderful 3 1/2 months of conversation filled with awkward smileys payed off, because they're now in love. But is it really love? If neither of them has had a relationship before because the "nice boy" was never really successful, how do they really know? Sure, they mapped out their entire lives together, but how do you know it's right? And here comes the player...
The thing with players is that they know what they're doing. Okay, they've been around a couple times, but they understand the real love game whether or not they used the disco stick. They know what it's like to lust, like, and love. They know the difference between a girl who they like, and a girl who is just a hookup. They had their fun, but when it comes down to it, the first girl that they think is "pretty" could be pretty in so many different ways. They know (personally in most cases) the differences among the hot girl, the pretty girl, the "girlfriend" girl, the best friend girl...and so on.
So if I had to choose between the nice guy and the playa, I'll go for the playa every time (plus they've had some practice
). I want a guy to tell me I'm different, not just pretty. I want to be the girl he cares about, and be secure in our relationship enough to realize that he knows the difference between being completely attracted to someone, and just thinking they're hot.I think that a reformed player would be nice to have, but you'd also have to understand how to play the game just as well so you don't accidently end up "played." Would you go for the nice guy or the playa?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: ohsolovely
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1390 Comments: 0 40 View all posts by ohsolovely
Comments (40)
I'd pick the nice guy for sure. The "playas" are fun for flirting, but that's ALL... I just feel like going for the big flirts that play hard to get is only fun for so long.
I'll take the playa, thanks. The definition sounds a bit like the guy I'm talking to now, actually. lol
I don't think this kind of guy should be called a player. I would just call him experienced.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - i agree.
and players are guys you can't count on when the going gets tough. they're good to have around for fun. the nice guys seem to be worth it in the end.
NICE GUY EVERY TIME. no doubt.
nice guy. without a doubt.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - agreed :)
and you definitely don't want a John Tucker. just saying. i didn't even see the movie but i heard the character is terrible, haha. and i would definitely prefer the experienced guy over the nice guy. nice guys don't like me anyway except as a friend or during transient phases in their life XD
sorry nice guys, but you're all just so SHY XP
"The first time you talked to me you told me you thought I was pretty, so do you think I really believe that you're interested in what my position on healthcare is? or my favorite flavor of ice cream?"
In that case, I must be an alien amongst androids. Because if I like you, I am interested in everything about you. That's why I chose you.
There are actually guys out there who are nice with confidence etc. blah. I wouldn't be thinking the players going to be around for long in a relationship, because he won't be thinking he will xD.
So if I had to choose between the nice guy and the playa, I'll go for the playa every time (plus they've had some practice
). I want a guy to tell me I'm different, not just pretty.
Maybe I'm just not seeing eye to eye with you on this, but wouldn't the nice guy tell you that you're different, and the player tell you that you're pretty?
I'm a fan of nice guys.
As a former hardcore nice guy, if you go for the player you will get hurt
Hm...that's an odd thing--or person, in this case--to want. I guess I can kind of see what you're saying, but...I still think it's better to have a nice guy. If I were to choose between a player/experienced guy who's a pro at getting girls and what to say to them or do for them, and a nice guy who might not have that much experience, or even no experience, yet is a genuinely good guy with good intentions, I'd pick the nice guy, hands down.
I don't think you mean playa, I think you just want an experienced guy.
I can see both sides to this! I understand the whole text messaging, nice guy thing, but IDK if I would really want a player either.
Nice guy, definitely. And I don't think what you're describing is technically a "player." The kinda of person you're talking about has a good sense of his/her feelings and is open to settling down when the right person comes around. Players, on the other hand, well... they just enjoy a good game.
Hmm, I tend to date what I call chronic relationshipers because that's what I am. I don't want a guy that's dipped his wick in tooo many, er, pots (?), but I don't want a guy that needs...training.
I'm also a bit possessive/jealous, so I don't want a guy with a bunch of exes that I have to deal with in any way, shape, or form. Too much accumulated baggage with all that experience >.<
Nice guys are kinda dull. The ones that let you walk all over them, I mean. If I wanted to settle down, I guess I'd go for a nice guy over a player for sure. It would be interesting to date a player for a while, but personally, I think that's a recipe for disaster, unless you're the "exception" (see "He's Just Not That Into You"). In most instances, this is definitely not the case.
The chronic relationshipers I'm talking about have been dating for a long time, but they haven't dated that many people. For instance: my boyfriend has been in 4 or 5 long term relationships and that's what he prefers to be in (though he's been mostly single for the past 1.5 years until he found me ^^), I guess I'm much the same way. I've had 5 total boyfriends, but I've dated around a little, and I DEFINITELY prefer to be in a relationship vs. casual dating. I guess that's my main problem with players. They date around because they enjoy it, not because they're looking for something more.
My advice: give the nice guys a try. Players might be thrilling, but think about it. They're players for a reason: they're successful at picking up girls. Girls just don't fall into guys laps; obviously, the player knew what to say, what to do, what to be like to make the girls like them. Players are probably playing you just to make you feel special. Are they really worth the inevitable heartbreak?
Nice guy. I mean, sure, the player has experience or whatever and will ask you about your favourite ice cream flavour, but the only reason he's asking is to find some way to get into your pants. They're playing you to get laid, and they don't give a shit about what you talk about.
But I've had nice guys tell me that I'm more than pretty. So I don't get your main argument; that nice guys are unoriginal, inexperienced and they won't tell you that you're different.
i think you've got this all wrong...no one wants a player. old habits die hard. coming from someone who has dated a bunch of jerks and players, im telling you, heartbreak is one thing you don't need.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I Second This!
And Theres Extremely Nice Experienced Guys Out There...
My ex was a "nice guy" player (the way you described it) I think. He knew how to manipulate my emotions, before, during and after the relationship. I fell head over heels with him and his words. I really though he loved me because he treated me differently... but I guess not, cause he ended up breaking my heart. haha.And even though I said I would never date another guy like that... I totally agree. I never really liked nice guys. My explanation is mostly in your definition/last paragraph.
I've had more than my fair share of dating "players".
After a while, the games they play get old.
So I'm going to have to say I'd like to date the "nice guy" (:
Players ARE more fun/challenging, but nice guys will commit to you.
i didn't know non-awkward guys were considered players.
Hm, I'm not sure I'd call the guys you like players either, but yes experience does do wonders in a relationship. I'm pretty sick of innocent boys myself haha.
i've always dated a john tucker. my most recent ex was a john tucker in the beginning of our relationship. i guess when you meet this person, he's extremely gorgeous and says all the right things and sometimes you just want to hear all the right things. only thing is you're going to start wondering if what he says is ever sincere or genuine.