Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FMLToday, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FMLToday, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FMLToday, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FMLToday, my husband and I were having sex, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FMLwhat is it with farmtown?! i don't get it.
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Comments (40)
LOL #1... haha that sucks.
LOL! i was laughing so hard here.. my goodness golly gracious.. you are so funny.
That second one is really unfortunate. :\ poor guy.
HAHAHAH
FARMVILLE<333!!!
LOL the last one is hilarious
haha think everyone seems to have sucky friday...lol
most of these are fake. the last one is obviously fake. you and your life is fake. this whole world is fake. OMFG.
The last one is HILARIOUS. :D
Seriously, why is everyone obsessed with Farmville??
Farmville is amazing.
Farmtown? Haha, I thought you meant FarmVille and got REALLY excited.
I'm not even sure what the craze is with this game. I play Restaurant City instead and it's just as addicting and so great. What a way to waste my time.
Farmville can suck it.
Meh.
I don't think any of those are worthy of saying "fuck my life" to. They seem pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The second one is the worst, in my opinion, although it's neither funny nor an end of the world situation. People overreact.
Now, I could understand something like this actual situation:
Today, I finalized my divorce with my husband, and he got fired from his job as a police officer because I developed cancer. The insurance company decided I was costing too much, and gave his employer a choice: either pay $1 million or fire him. Now, I have to raise two kids alone, am dying with no health insurance, have no job, and am developing even more hereditary but preventable illnesses that could possibly kill me before the cancer does. FML
That last one is hilarious....
I don't get Farmville either, but that is all that is on my homepage on my FB account due to my friends and their obsession with it. How in the world can there be so many lost black sheep?!?!
hahaah @ last one
omg i couldnt stop laughin reading all of them
LOOOOL
@methodElevated@xanga - Well, they're supposed to be funny. I think if they all were like that one, people would get too depressed to read them..
@StarlitGoodbyes@xanga - Fair enough.
farmville is this facebook application where you plant, harvest and steal crops from your friends farms ahha ! i prefer happyfarm though, its much more simple :D
omg the last one is so pathetic, hahaha.
FarmVille/FarmTown is stupid. =|
FarmVille is my guilty pleasure :D
On another note, these accounts are mortifying!
OMG hahahaha the last one is hilarious hahaha
Actually farmville and farmtown are different applications on facebook. Nevertheless, I don't understand the craze. I know a few people who are addicted but don't even enjoy it.
@methodElevated@xanga - Its not meant to be for completely dire situations, its meant for laughing lightly. No one goes to a website to get depressed. lol.
Oh my God, the Farmville one is a classic!!!!
FML always makes me laugh out loud =)