Thursday, 27 August 2009
-
She Hates Me Because I Dated Him
So recently I have been running into my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend a lot. I went to high school with this girl and never had a problem with her. She was a grade younger than me so I didn't really know her well but I knew of her because we had a few mutual friends. I always thought she was nice and pretty. I broke up with my ex almost 2 years ago and our relationship had only lasted for a few months so I didn't mind in the least that he was dating this girl.
However, recently a close friend of mine who is also friends with her told me about how she has been talking about how much she hates me lately. The thing is, I can't figure out what reason she could possibly have to supposedly "hate" me.
If you're thinking this whole thing is really silly and high school, I agree with you. I was never into drama, even in high school, and I'm definitely over the whole catty girl thing now. But after the couple of awkward run-ins I've had with both my ex and the new girl lately I've begun to wonder, do girls always hate their boyfriend's exes? It's not like I'm still in love with him or anything... I was pretty much over him the day I broke up with him. So if she knows that I'm definitely not trying to win him back, why else would she hate me?
Maybe it's because I haven't dated a lot of people or really ever been serious with anyone, but I've never really felt threatened by a guy's ex. Have you ever strongly disliked a person solely because they dated your SO in the past?
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: meowmeow
- Name: meowmeow
- About Me: 20 yr old college student.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 20 Views: 0 52696 Comments: 0 1156 View all posts by meowmeow
Comments (75)
it's what immature people do I suppose...
I had the same issue - but I've actually been in both situations - being a guy's ex as well as the girlfriend who did not like the ex.
Being the ex who is being hated is never easy and possibly quite puzzling, but it happens to some girls, if not most girls, to see their boyfriends being close with someone they are known to be attracted to in the past.
Having been the new girlfriend who is uncomfortable with my boyfriend's ex, I can probably say it may not have anything to do with the length or nature of the relationship or whether you are long over him - for all you know she may not even know those details. I know I don't know anything about my boyfriend's past relationships, so I have no way of knowing how long they've gone out, or when they've gone out, or what happened when it ended. In your case though, maybe she was uncomfortable because she remembers seeing you guys being together in high school way before anything happened between them, and maybe it makes her feel less special that way.
Usually it doesn't have to do with how long ago your relationship had been, it just has to do with how long your ex has been going out with his girlfriend and how comfortable they are with each other. But this sort of thing certainly does happen, but hopefully you won't feel so awkward :)
maybe you shud just ignore her as long as she doesnt do any harm to you.
fun, great conversation and you like
her a lot. Should you try to kiss her? The first
date kiss is always a bit of a conundrum.
Some say you should never try to get a kiss on the first
date, and others say that if she seems willing, why not? Your best bet
is to check your own feelings and check her body language to see if a kiss is in order.When a Woman Smells BestWhen Sex and Love become habit Dating Tips: Menstruation and SexualityResearch efforts on the influence of the menstrual cycle on female
sexual behavior have shown that women are more receptive to the ‘alpha’ or very
masculine facial
features on a
man during the window
of ovulation when
they are most fertile. In contrast, they are more receptive to the ‘feminine’ facial features
on a man during menstruation
when they are less likely to be impregnated. I got a bit disheartened when i
first heard about this. I’ve always been fairly contented with my face but one
surely wouldn’t label it as overly ‘masculine’. My lips are fat and red, I
don’t have the square jaw line that Arnold has, my cheekbones are higher and my
skin is soft and properly moisturized;)Â I’m basically endowed (along with many
men) some facial
attributes that could be seen as more ‘feminine’. But eventually i realized
that I still had just as vast a window of opportunity as my more masculine and
chiseled faced friends did because ovulation
and menstruation
last for about the same extent of time. Although I will spend a lot more money
on new sheets and towels than Lou Ferrigno ever did, I am a lot less likely to
have an unwanted pregnancy and that’s one major advantage.First Date, First Kiss:How to Say No to a Kiss Get Pregnant Easily How to Get Pregnant Quicker
Its dumb. Unless they GIVE you a reason to hate them. otherwise, whats done is done, its in the past. especially if you dated that long ago, for that short of a time.
maybe hes been mentioning you lately.
;o
theres this motherfuckin bitch who dated my ex and i fuckin hate him fuck him up SDKFJHADSGKLJASKJLJGH
UHHH try to understand your ex's girlfriend......
she is with a guy who used to go out with you and what if sometimes he makes random comments about how she is different from you and how you are better than her.....yeah and i agree with kaschan@xanga .........
it really can be confusing but as long you know that you did not do anything that mite cuz the girl to hate you then i suggest that you just guise her hating you & move on with your life.......
i mean its not your problem.... so just dont worry about it.....
I've hated two of my boyfriends ex's.
1--because she kept telling him that she still loved him and tried to break us up by sending me anonymous messages saying that "my boyfriend wasn't being completely honest with me"
2--another ex sent him pics and videos of herself masturbating.
Needless to say, I HATE these girls.
Maybe he keeps mentioning you and she can tell he still isn't over you. That happened to a close friend of mine.
@Ampersands_Anonymous@xanga - omggg. my last boyfriend had a girl like that in his life... like she wasn't even his ex. She would do stuff to try to break us up... like when she first found out we were dating she sent him a text telling him that he can't date me cause then he would replacing her. She actually had a talk with him about it... wtf. And she kept texting him, even during one of our get-togethers. She obviously hated me and everyone could tell by the way she acted around me. It's like I didn't exist. When my (now-ex) boyfriend and I were holding hands in the hallway, she literally came up between us and pushed me away. And she would flirt and be all touchy with him, ignoring the fact that I am standing right there. Since we broke up, she has toned down the flirting but she tries to make it obvious that she has him back in her grasp. Then again, she isn't and still hasn't dated the guy, so technically I win. (not to be immature about it haha)
maybe she found out that he still has feelings for you? or it could just be that she is possessive of him and doesn't like the fact that he has dated or liked anybody (i know some girls who are like that). anyway, i don't think you should care too much about what she thinks. it's not like you used to be good friends with her or anything.
@fivepointfourtwo@xanga - My boyfriend dated this girl for a year and 4 months...we started dating 3 months after they broke up. Big mistake. Ignoring the fact that he was obviously still hung up on her in the beginning of our relationship, she was always calling and texting him! He was and still is good friends with her cousin so he would run into her from time to time. We've been together for 2 years but the first Christmas we were together he gave his friend a ride to their family get together and she was there and started crying and putting on a big scene and everything. Thankfully she got knocked up and married the dude this past valentines day or she might still be making our lives hell.
I gather you are/were in high school when all this happened? Yeah. I'm 20 years old. You'd think some people could grow up and move on but I guess not. Stupid girls lol.
@Ampersands_Anonymous@xanga - LOL. YESSS. I was in high school when all this unnecessary drama happened. I was so happy when i graduated cause I thought all this was behind me now. But I was wrong... some people just don't grow up and move on.
And yeah... I've dealt with the crying and sobbing... my exboyfriend didn't know what to do, while I was ready to yell at her telling her to GROW UP and deal with things maturely. Good thing I wasn't there when it happened... cause I would have seriously done it.
I think it's totally absurd.
It's just the past, why so serious?!
my ex's current girlfriend hated me with a passion because i dated her bf when they broke up. she couldn't stand me, she just wanted to annoy me to death so i would break up with him but it didn't work because the more she hated me the more i wanted to just piss her off by hanging around him more and more. sadly, i got bored of the game and tired of the relationship so we broke up and she was there waiting for him with her arms wide open to mend his broken heart. i never had a reason to hate her, because she was his ex, they had a past together, but obviously, she didn't like me much because i came in between them.
what an immature lil girl..
honestly i met my two best friends because of boys...
i liked this guy..and then she#1 used to date him and fell in love wiht him and all
then i used to like this other guy and she#2 fell i lve with him
best friendships come out of that kinda stufff!
It's jealousy. For some reason, this girl feels like she has to compete with you, and she's bitchy to you because in her mind, she believes you're winning. Maybe she's jealous that you're "the original", maybe your ex still talks about you a lot or compares her to you in a way that makes her feel like can't measure up...who knows! There could be a million reasons why she's feeling what she's feeling.
I don't tend to have issues with the exes, unless they're trying to get involved in the relationship when they shouldn't be. I've dealt with a guy's ex who was always trying to get into our business and it was pretty pathetic. Even though she probably deserved to be taken down a peg, I still didn't give her attitude--in fact, I did the opposite. But that's just me, and I'm smart enough to know that you keep your friends close, and your "enemies" closer. :) Eventually it blew over and we were on friendly terms again, and I was glad to have made a friend through the situation rather than an enemy--stupid catty grudges are not my style.
Other than that, I've never really had a problem with any guys' exes (or with the new girlfriends of my exes, for that matter). Life goes on--it's pretty sad when people can't get over things that happened in the past.
either
a) she's immature
b) your ex talks about you a lot or compares you two
c) you did something to her in the past, and now that she's dating your ex, she hates you for it
d) your close friend is causing drama cuz she TOO likes your ex!
e) you did something to her in a dream and she thought it was real
whatever the case. its not worth your time or energy.
Have you ever think of to ask her why does she hates you? Im pretty sure there is a reason behind that make her hates of you.. =) Im saying "maybe "..Maybe one of the reason could be your ex bf still in love and care about you and when she knows about it and she feels insecure... =) hehehe but however that's only one of the many reason sweetie.. I may not be accurate ..LOL..
There are only two ways to handle this matter ;
(1) if you really wants to know why she hates you, my advise is try to approach her and both of you have a nice talk together and ask her what does matter that makes she hates you?
*(2) if i were you, i'll just ignore her and forget it. Just treat it as if you've never heard the news from your friends ..and well, just live life to the fullest.. =) Dont worry so much about the matter sweetie.. =)
no, on occassion i feel insecure, but I'm past that stage, especially with my current boyfriend. It's immature really :O
x
i have to deal with my boyfriend having an ex and he has to deal with me having an ex.
im BOTH in my current relationship.
i dated a guy for 2 1/2 years in highschool and he now has a new girlfriend that i have been fairly good friends with for about 6 years.
my boyfriend has dated a girl for also 2 1/2 years in highschool and she has a new boyfriend also.
being the ex and having him date one of my friends, i panicked. i was scared of losing my friendship with that girl. but thankfully, she came to ME and asked me if i was mad at her. i told her straightup that i did not want her to hate me just because i dated the dude. i KNOW it comforted her because i also assured her that things between me and him were over and that i had no problem with them dating.
but with my boyfriends current ex.. shes nice and pretty. im jealous because she was his first EVERYTHING. i feel second compared to her and feel that he will never love me as much as he loved her. but i also think that he might feel the same way with me and my ex, because he was my first EVERYTHING also.
so, i guess.. if you ever get the chance to talk to your ex's girlfriend.. reassure her that things between you and him have BEEN OVER for a long time. shes still young and immature and she probably thinks that your ex still thinks about you since your still around.
its not fun having exes or being exes!
I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that he might be comparing her to you or something like that. Maybe he keeps all your old things and she saw it? idk
But no I've never just hated an exgirlfriend just because she dated my boyfriend. There's always a reason behind it.
i'd say that she just feels that way out of intimidation. i've definitely felt the same way as her, although the situations are much different than this. i didn't know my bf's ex's because he just moved here before we met and started dating. so i didnt know if they still liked him, if they're still friends, how they act, if he sees them much when he'd go back there (moms house, divorced parents), or if they're prettier/funnier/cuter/smarter than me. so naturally i just assumed the worst for all of those things and felt a lot of intimidation because of it. i dislike all of those girls, and a lot of his current female friends as well. i really don't show it though, so its not a problem or anything. if i were you i would just ignore it. you could always talk to her about it, but to me it just doesn't seem worth it.
I have only disliked my boyfriend's ex when she had given me a reason not to like her, like flirting with him on Facebook, sending him flirty emails and texts, stuff like that. But I haven't disliked them for no reason at all. She's probably just immature or he might be saying bad stuff about you to her. Just try to ignore it, but if it really gets to you then try to talk to her about it. Good luck!
Well, personally, I haven't hated someone because they were dating my ex. That is childish and ridiculous for her to hate you because you dated him. Assuming that's the case, she's got issues. Anybody who hates someone else because they dated their current SO has trust issues. She's probably afraid he's going to come back to you or that you'll steal him away from her, but I don't see where she should have anything to be concerned about.