Miss Rhino
How do you deal with a friend that is obviously interested in your SO? It's the typical Brenda-Dylan-Kelly scenario. Brenda left for Paris and Kelly swooped in for the kill. We all saw it coming. Would you let it get that far?
When you've been dating someone for a considerable amount of time, it's natural that your friends will get to know your SO pretty well. But what happens when one of your friends develops feelings for your bf/gf?
In some situations it's a covert longing that is kept under control. That's if you're lucky. In other cases, it's pretty out in the open. I have seen girls that become attached to other girls' boyfriends and keep them close saying they are just really good friends. They hang out with them without you present, openly say they wish the two of them were together or that she is looking for someone exactly like him. Awkward.
So what do you do? Confront the friend and tell her to stop hanging out with your SO? That seems extreme. But what other choice is there?
I think I would direct my friend to this site...
back off bitch!For the love of Dylan, what would you do?
Comments (32)
I'm currently crushing on my good friend Kate's boyfriend. he's just so cute smart and definitely more than boyfriend quality, more like Husband quality.
and I thought I got over him
I trust my boyfriend very much. I've gone to bars with him and have caught women checking him out. I think it's funny and a compliment, if they ever did approach (as two in the past have before), he's informed them of his status and left it at that.
The only time I ever got pissed off was when a sort of mutual friend/acquaintance of ours blantantly hit one him infront of me and all of our friends (laughing at EVERY joke, touching his arms, calling him cute, finding any excuse to hug or touch him). I was livid! Reason? She KNEW he was taken and she knew me, yet she chose to disrespect us and our relationship and shamelessly hit on him (she continued doing this a few times we all got together after this incident). But yea, if it's a stranger I don't care, but if the girl knows we're together and voluntarily chooses to ingore that, then we have a problem.
After being seriously in love at least once in my life (though it's possible that 30 years from now I'll think of it as something completely different, but whatever) I can't ever be the kind of person that crushes on someone "from afar," who has no clue I exist or is taken from the very moment I meet him. I've found that if there was nothing between us to give off some kind of signal or any strong connection via long conversation or just hanging out and getting to know each other, then I can't start crushing on them because there's nothing there. Fantasy crushes don't do anything for me.
Besides, we have learned from Mean Girls that "Girls going out with each other's ex boyfriends is, like, against the laws of feminism!" So case closed
i would eat them
What's a relationship without trust?
If your SO falls for your friend, then he/she was bound to leave you eventually, right? Anyway, trust your significant other and talk to him/her about it ex. (Hey, I know my friend really likes you, but I can trust that you'll love me and only me, right?)
Just don't make it sound creepy. It's all in the voice. :)
DAMN LUKE PERRY WAS FOINE IN 90210 THE OLD SCHOOL SHOW OF COURSE! LMFAO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TOPIC! BUT I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY FRIEND FALLING FOR MY S.O. 'CUZ WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES IN GUYS AND ALL MY FRIENDS I'VE KNOWN SINCE I WAS A KID SO I KNOW THEY AIN'T ABOUT TO PULL A BRENDA-DYLAN-KELLY SCENE.
i never watched 90210 really. i'm a lot more familiar with the ZackMorris-KellyKapowski-A.C.Slater triangle.
Well here's the deal; if she goes in for the kill and tries to get him, she's not much of a friend. At all. Friends don't steal friends boyfriends.
@t_zie@xanga - Best. Advice. Ever.
@Starring_Hobo89@xanga - Having to ask that question would imply that the SO didn't receive the trust to begin with. If they did, the question wouldn't need to be asked at all. If a SO asked me that question, there would definitely be issues to resolve. I think that conversation would go a lot better if you just mentioned that the friend likes the SO, and let the conversation flow from there without the questions. I had a SO ask me about a mutual friend that had a crush on me with a question of a similar manner. The relationship ended the next day because she obviously didn't trust me, which is a prerequisite in my opinion for a relationship. Who knows, maybe she didn't say it with the right voice?
awww, i like the 90210 reference. the good, original one.
@t_zie@xanga - win.
Just dont hangout with them two together and let it be known that she cannot hangout with your SO alone ever again and if it happens u guys will have some words. but if u sit there and let it happen and keep your feelins to yourself be prepared for something to happen between them or him to start catching feelins as well. u cant help who u will start to like so this really has nothng to do with trust here because he could be completly faithful and not want nothing to happen between them but shit might just happen and he might just happen to start developing feelings. again u cant help who u start to fall for.
disturbing :O
that would be a horrible situation to be in ><
i really dno how id respond
itd be interesting to read what other people say
x
If your friend is starting to like your boyfriend, you need to tell her to back off. Gently, of course! Ya'll are still friends. Homewrecking is not cool. Homewrecking =/=
I don't think my friend ever liked my boyfriend, but there would be times when she would call him a lot to ask him questions and other random things like that. I never talked to her about it, but it did slow down a bit. I hate shit like that, though.
Tell her she needs to lay off a bit.. I've had to deal with something slightly like this before...
My friend was having a rough time and texted my boyfriend telling him that she needed someone to talk to and that I was out partying and couldn't help her.
I was sitting at home talking to him >_>.
She still texts him every now and then but he usually ignores her.
that happened to ME! I went away for Basic Training and my best friend stopped hanging out with me after I got back to hang out with him! -I wasn't invited...some friends, right?...Now I don't have a boyfriend- or my old friends
hmm, well my ex liked me but he couldn't stop staring my friend.. thats somewhat same situation right?
people like him should be eaten by a monster.
If someone hits on your SO while knowing that he/she is with you, that person is not your friend.
Anyone that hits on my SO while both of us are present and when they know that we are together, is definitely not a friend.
@storiesandsinker@xanga - Agreed
yea definitely not my friiend
it's the friend's responsibility to lay off. it's a simple matter of respect, and if they can't respect their friend, it's not a good relationship to begin with. the girl in the relationship should talk to her friend and tell her politely to lay off. also, she should talk with her effing boyfriend and ask him not to encourage the little love triangle. if either the flirty friend of the boyfriend doesn't respect the girlfriend's wishes, it seems to me the bigger problem is lack of respect, which is no good for anybody, and she should consider leaving. of course, it depends on the extent of the flirting, and i'm assuming it's bad if the boyfriend and other friend are spending time together alone.
First off, is your boyfriend trustworthy? If you can trust your boyfriend, knowing that nothing can come between you guys, then you wouldn't have a problem. Temptations, flirting, and seduction shouldn't work on him, if he only has you in his eyes.
Second, is your friend a really good friend? If she's a good friend that you've known for a loooonng time and shared secrets with, then she wouldn't try to hit on your boyfriend in the first place. If she's seriously trying to break you guys up and have him for herself, she's not much of a friend in the first place.
well my close friend got to know my (ex) boyfriend. but they also hung out in the same group & sometimes i wasnt there.
long (hurtful) story short, he cheated on me with her
which is why he is now the ex-boyfriend
but during their lies she kept saying that she wouldnt let her feelings get anywhere... well thanks a lot, biotch.