Miss Walrus
The countdown for my move back to my college town has officially started. I have exactly three days & counting. I am excited in the way I always am at the beginning of the school year. I love reuniting with my beloved roommates and friends (even if I don't like having the same "What'd you do this summer?" convo over & over). I love buying fresh, empty notebooks, new colorful pens--I even love buying my textbooks!
But there's something I'm looking forward to this year more than any of that other stuff: The idea that upon my first week back at school, I will happily, drunkenly, "accidently" bump into my ex--with my new boyfriend on my arm.
The fact that this excites me so much kinda disturbs me a little. I totally thought I was over ex-boy as soon as the new one stepped on center stage, but lately reality has started to slowly seep in. Soon enough me & ex will once again be living in the same (very small) town--& that equally excites & frightens me.
I'm trying to figure out the reasoning behind all of this mess. Maybe it's because I was the one constantly being dragged to bars & parties where I was forced to watch ex-boy canoodle with a variety of women? Maybe it's because he was the one who basically convinced me that I was incapable of living a satisfying life without him? Maybe it's because I still believe in my heart that he thinks I am miserable without him--& that he wants it to stay that way?
I'm not sure really sure what it is, but the idea that my ex may very well be seeing me out with my new boyfriend--happy, content, probably smooching--makes me feel like I might finally have some closure on the situation.
Am I crazy?
Comments (56)
No, YOU GO GIRL!
It sounds like you are itching to start an argument with the guy. Just leave the guy alone, or ignore him and focus on your new guy. What's done is done.
no, I would love to run into my ex with the new boy. except, they used to be really good friends lol
No, you're not crazy at all!!!
The opposite could happen. What if you bump into him with his girl? Will you feel nothing or will it ruin the day or night for you?
I would LOVE to run into my ex, so he can see how happy I am because I know he wishes I wasn't. I know he regrets treating me like shit and he would even more if he saw how happy I am without him. Um does that make me a bad person haha
not crazy, in fact this reminded my of when MySecretLoveAffair wanted to know if it was crazy to want to look hot for her ex husband when he brought the kids home from visitation.
Your not crazy, it is human nature. It seems to me that maybe all those things he did and said to you, stuck with you in some degree, whether you knew it or not. This like that can stick with someone unconsiously. I think it will give you closure. Because see, you maybe on some level believed all those things he said about not being able to make it without him and what not. However you have made it without him and you sound happy. You seeing him is only going to confirm it for you, by proving it to him. He will have to see that you arehappy without him and doing just fine.
He most likely said those things, because somewhere inside his self he wasnt sure he coudl make it without you. People tend to pass what they feel about themselves onto the ones theyare closest too.
I would be happy as well to walk into that small town showing everyone who doubted, that I was fine and happy and had made it.
Matter fact I did do that in a sense. I came form a small town were I had married a man at 16, who in all sense of the word would have been considered verbally abusive. By the time I left him, i didn't believe I could make it without him. Then I went back to that small town to visit my family and he showed up. Only I was happy and remarried to a very good man and had done started a family. He had to see it and he didnt look to happy because to this day he is still single and on his myspace page voice his distaste in me. I find it really funny and i take pride in the fact that I over came the negativity i recieved from him and became better than he expected.
So be happy, but I wouldnt like go out and really rub his nose in it. I know there is prolly a part of you that would love too, but that would just be distasteful and could cause problems and that wouldnt be good
Best wishes
Illyria
LOLL. If you are crazy, then I am crazy too. That is exactly what I want to do. Except... one, I don't currently have a boyfriend and two, my ex and I are attending different colleges in the fall. But Facebook will just have to do... when and if I get my new man (: haha... I think I just need to know that I moved on, that the jerk doesn't have a hold on me anymore AND that he knows I am perfectly happy with another guy.
I don't care about running into any of my exes. lol. I'm completely happy and content. And I don't care what any of the guys from my past think.
@kidzandK9z@xanga - I wanna see that post!
@Fairywife@xanga - and you should, just go to her site and scroll, dont have time to link you right now, or you could message her for the link. Good luck.
your soooo not crazy! my ex doesnt believe i have all these boy toys i guess you'd call them. It excites me when we both come home from college for christmas, and i bump into him with one =]
no, not crazy. but i don't think it's worth it. and if you care about seeing the ex this much, it's not really fair to the new boy.
As many other people are saying, no, you're not crazy. I think it's pretty normal to want to do this. I myself can't wait to do it, too. Even though I don't have a boyfriend right now...but whenever I do, I am definitely doing this. Haha.
not crazy, but your plan kinda fails. i think it seems like you're trying too hard and putting so much energy into something that shouldn't be a huge deal. it's alllllllllllllmost pathetic, even if it is "human nature." plus he may not even care, unless he's still sore about being your ex... but i mean that doesn't matter much because the fact that you concocted this plan kind of implies you're kinda sore too. oh well though, have fun?
I'm the same way with a particular ex of mine. We're still friends, and for some reason I can't wait until the day I send him an invitation to my wedding! Hopefully I don't get an invitation from him first.
Bitch.
Would it really be fair to your new SO? I don't think it's crazy... but I don't think it's fair either. Just let your ex be, and concentrate on your relationship with your new guy.
Not crazy at all. I love showing off my husband!
not crazy, but it does show that you want to get even with your ex (which shows that you're not ALL that over him). Kinda pathetic. I doubt he'll care that you have a new guy.
Noooo. because if I said you are then I would be crazy too. I'm over my ex... It's just, he made me feel like shit. Breaking up with me claiming that I'm clingy. He was a horny piece of shit and pressured me to do things WAYYYYYY beyond my mind. I didn't go along with the plans though.
@soniiuh@xanga - i was just going to say the same. it's not fair to your current SO. i dont think your ex would care that much...?
Sounds like you feel that you've got something to prove to this fellow. I'm guessing he's seen you at your lowest of lows and knows lots of embarrassing things about you, especially if the break-up was a mess. Since he will definitely think of you here and there and probably talk about you, the impression that you make on him could influence others, and (especially since you live in the same small town) this just might come back to you. Whenever that exchanging of ex stories happens, you'd rather he describe you as "the girl who's now with this guy that looks a little like Johnny Depp" instead of "the girl who I haven't seen in ages but I last saw her crying so hard that it made her barf on me"
You're crazy. It sounds like you're obsessed with your ex.