Sunday, 23 August 2009

• Would You Lie to Magic Johnson?

  Miss Rhino
  
  Initial impressions are imperative. So imperative in fact, that I chose to emphasize it with slightly obnoxious alliteration. Every time I meet a new guy I try my darndest to put my best foot forward. It's the left one, by the way. However, this weekend I made a little boo-boo that needs immediate mending. 
  
  He is an exchange student from Amsterdam. He is in the masters law program at Columbia, and he's only been in New York for two weeks. Our connection ran deep. I told him everything about myself. That I live in an apartment in the city by myself. It's air-conditioned which is crucial in the summer months. That my friend is also going to Columbia Law and that's why I was there at this Columbia-hosted meet-and-greet for new students.
  
  That's all well and good except for the fact that I live in New Jersey with my parents and have a ceiling fan which does absolutely nothing for me in the summer months. I have no friends attending Columbia, and I actually just happened upon this orientation get-together by chance. What came over me that I told these lies? I have no idea. My only guess is that telling those little un-truths was easier than explaining the reality that some Jersey girl stumbled into a party where she didn't belong. Perhaps I was humbled by his brilliance and wanted to build myself up a little bit. Who knows. The damage has already been done.
  
  I told him that my work, which was elusive and mysterious and could not be divulged to just the average person especially a foreigner (seriously, where do I come up with this stuff?), was taking me to New Jersey on the last train home that night, however next weekend I would have to show him the REAL NYC from a native New Yorker's point of view.
  
  I saved him in my phone as Magic Johnson because his name was unpronounceable and kind of resembled "Merlin" which brought me to magic which led me to Magic Johnson. Completely logical, right?
  
  Although we exchanged numbers, I never expected to hear from him again. We spoke only for a few minutes and I think he was much more amused with me than he was interested. But low and behold, a few days later, Magic Johnson began texting me asking me to show him the "real New York" this coming weekend.
  
  I am definitely interested in seeing him again, but now it's just a matter of spinning my web of lies into something manageable. Obviously I am going to have to bite the bullet and come clean. There's simply no way I can rent an apartment in New York between now and Friday. I would if I could to avoid my fate though, believe me I would.
  
  Have you ever told a few small white lies that have come back to haunt you in your relationship?
  
  It can be something as simple as, "Oh, you're a Republican. Me too. Hard-core elephant power!" When, in reality, you have never once voted in an election and could not carry on one solid conversation about political platforms. What do you do when they ask you about the current health care reform? Excuse yourself and text KGB and hope they get back to you in time?
  
  Do you run with it as far as you can or do you fess up immediately? 

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