Sunday, 23 August 2009

  • Is The Grass Really Greener on The Other Side?

    I'm part of a rare population of individuals (at least in the modern era) who are extremely happy in their current relationship. Yes, my boyfriend and I have had our fair share of problems throughout our relationship so far, but I'd never think about finding someone else.My philosophy in relationships is that I'd rather give all the love that I have and not regret anything, knowing that if anything unfortunate happens down the road, it won't be my mistake.

    I've always been extremely faithful in all my relationships, so I can't understand what would bring someone to cheat. or want to break up with me. I'm neither the clingy or the bossy type. In fact, I try incredibly hard to maintain balance within the relationship, between spending time with my friends and my boyfriend. I can say for certain that I always feel like I put more effort into my relationships to show that I care, because personally, little details DO count.

    For example, in the summer, my boyfriend has class from 5-8 p.m., which is right at dinner time. For two days of the week when he does have class, I usually pack him a home-made dinner or a snack. I don't do this to please him, I do it because I'm willing, and this is how I show him I care. These little things are important! My current boyfriend greatly appreciates all the little things I do, but not all my exes reacted the same way.

    My first boyfriend cheated on me (four times) with my best friend. My second boyfriend never really appreciated me, and didn't realize what he'd lost until we broke up. My third boyfriend constantly compared me to other girls (that girl is only 100lbs and she's 5'6, you're 16lbs heavier than her). Why is it that these boys think the grass is greener on the other side until they've lost everything?

    I can be content with what I have. A relationship will only work when two people both want to make it work, and they both put the same amount of effort in. Most relationships fail because one person decides that the other half isn't worth their efforts anymore - that's the most unfortunate part, because all relationships CAN work out, or at least I believe so (although I do recognize cheating is an ultimate no-no).

    I'm content on this side of the greenery, but is the grass really greener on the other side? Or is this merely human nature, that we're never satisfied?

Related Posts

Comments (50)

  • ELIZerson@xanga

    They've gotta realize that nothing's ever going to perfectly perfect. 
    However, if it's that constant that they think everything will be better with someone else... perhaps it just wasn't meant to be.  Or they need to go make their mistakes and realize that maybe, just maybe, they are very wrong.  Not that anyone should ever "settle" but just be a bit more realistic about what's Good.
  • tastytimmm@xanga

    ooo I agree relationships only work when work is put into them as well. So sad when a person realilzes too late what was taken for granted. Aside from the usual "no-no's", I think people need to be more laid back in relationships, think about their SO more, and don't take for granted the little things.
  • sweet_imperfectionz@xanga

    The grass on the other side seems greener because it's at a distance. I agree with you to give all to the relationship you're in. If you feel feelings aren't mutal or people grow apart then venture on the other side. But I'm content not even thinking about the other side.

  • ScorpioInBlack@xanga

    Great post!  I can relate regarding the relationship issues of boyfriends having us for granted.  Too bad for them they realize this only after the relationship is already deep in the pits.

    I cannot phantom cheating on someone if he treats me with respect and shows me he cares.  Too many people are quick to discard a good relationship for some cheap fling.  It's sad really...
  • x___insomniac@xanga

    Nice post, I agree that being content is possible
  • yukarimayhem@xanga

    im happy :)
    i dont even want to look at the other side
    my everything is right here with me ^^
    x
  • adventist_pathfinder@xanga

    It's AstroTurf.
  • kn1ghtviper21@xanga

    I would think this is especially true when the two people involved have limited dating experience and they need to break it off to explore what is out there before they settle.  It might be a good idea to see what's out there and then realize that it's as good as it gets.
  • UnopenedSuitcases@xanga

    it's partof human nature to sometimes not be satisfied with what we have. we always think what we dont have is better than what we currently have. DOn't worry you're not missing much on the other side of the grass :)
  • Flames756@xanga

    Sometimes the grass is greener--and people just aren't compatible. And while certain parts of their lives and personalities may mesh well, the other parts make the positive aspects absolutely impossible to maintain. When it's more struggle than anything else, more fighting than laughing or smiling... that's when I'd say to call it quits.


    As far as the grass being greener, though... there are better suited matches out there. People just have to find them.
  • nrb2233@xanga

    I do agree a relationship can work if you try to make it work.  My last boyfriend decided it wasn't worth it, either, even though he still had feelings for quite some time after.  I didn't think we were incompatible, but we started having issues when he stopped putting in effort, and then it just got completely off balance.  And yeah... I've tried to date enough people to know that it's pretty difficult to find someone worth the time... he, on the other hand, had only dated one person.  I don't like letting go of something when I have such a hard time finding what I want, so I don't see the grass as ever being greener on the other side. 

  • n_breezy@xanga

    honestly if they're willing to cheat/try new girls then they're not worth it. you don't mean much to them so they expereiment...then they realize that its not as good as what they did have.

    great post!

  • Starring_Hobo89@xanga

    I believe that sometime in your life, you will meet a girl/boy of your dreams who likes you back. When that moment happens, I hope you will have the courage to say, "Sorry, I'm already taken."

    There is a story of a dog...

    Once upon a Christmas night, a stray dog went to the back alley of a restaurant. Since it was Christmas, the owner decided to give the poor, hungry dog a huge left-over steak. While the dog was going back home with his prized possession in mouth, he saw a reflection of a dog in the river, holding a huge steak in his mouth. (Unknown to him, it was his own reflection.) The steak that the dog was holding seemed larger, & more tender than his own steak. With that, he put his face right in front of the other dog's face, and let out a bark. As he barked, the steak fell out of the dog's mouth and fell down the river... and that poor dog went hungry that Christmas night.
  • OngishLyOngLee@xanga

    sure looks greener on this side. 
  • xXCrystal_RaindropsXx@xanga

    What an amazing post. I really enjoyed reading it.i agree that relationship can work if two people want to make it work. its hard but definitely not impossible...my ex thought the grass was greener on the other side and cheated on me twice then left me for my best friend. 
    but anyway, people need to work it out and never take things/people for granted. you won't know the importance of it until you lose it.
    @Starring_Hobo89@xanga - and i really liked what you said.
  • mewithoutu77@xanga

    a lot of my friends have confessed that the grass is really greener on the other side but i've always been sort of scared to go over just because i am content with what i have even if it's not the best all the time.  maybe i just like playing safe but it's ok for now.
  • keio213@xanga
    @Starring_Hobo89@xanga - nice story.
  • Norcani@xanga

    In the home front, the grass is actually green. Only, others are risk-takers. Too late.... the grass on the other side is not really what they thought it to be. Isn't there such thing as a mirage? An illusion?
  • raiyaya@xanga

    i enjoyed reading this post.ppl say,we never appreciate what we have until we lose it.
  • dearFLOPPY@xanga

    @ELIZerson@xanga - i think there's always something appealing about the unattainable, that's what drives people to looking for something (someone) better. in a sense, people with this kind of persona will never be content. i completely agree with you though, some matches just aren't meant to be, and some people have to make mistakes in order to learn from it.
  • dearFLOPPY@xanga

    @tastytimmm@xanga - its SO good to hear someone say that! never take anyone else for granted. i try to do little things for people i love everyday, and even when im upset (especially when my boyfriend and i get into fights) i keep quiet so i don't say mean things i'll regret. just because we go the extra mile for you doesn't mean you can step all over us like carpet. if only most guys could realize this before its too late!
  • dearFLOPPY@xanga

    @sweet_imperfectionz@xanga - im completely content with not thinking about the other side. it honestly has never crossed my mind! however, i do know of this one girl who is head over heels for my boyfriend, and the worst thing about it is she only started becoming attracted to him AFTER we started dating. for her, the grass WAS greener on the other side, but shyt, thats MY side of the grass! its just disrespectful when people like that go up to your SO and flirt with him endlessly and doesn't even acknowledge you, especially when you know the other person exists.
  • dearFLOPPY@xanga

    @ScorpioInBlack@xanga - i seriously don't understand what goes through peoples minds when they throw away year-long (or longer) relationships for the sake of ONE night! it blows my mind! i knew a couple about to get married after 7 years of dating, and the day of the wedding, he told his fiancee that he slept with her bridesmaid. incredible how one moment can ruin your entire life, eh?
  • Lilyofdavalley84@xanga

    i'm just curious how u know the person cheated 4 times exactly. lol.  4 and a half times, maybe?
  • dearFLOPPY@xanga

    @x___insomniac@xanga - we all have to stay sane somehow :) being content with what you have is only the beginning!

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)

  • New! You can now edit your comments for 15 minutes after submitting.