Sunday, 23 August 2009
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Lacking A Conscience?
This summer I was talking to this guy for a while. I liked him a lot and he knew that I did but apparently he didn't feel the need to tell me that it wasn't mutual. He didn't hesitate to use me for all that I would give him physically (which thankfully wasn't much), though, before just completely stopping all forms of communication with me. Normally things like that wouldn't bother me a whole lot, but I liked the guy a lot and actually thought it had a chance of going somewhere.Now we're back in school and I have a few classes with him. We make eye contact on occasion but nothing more. He would never dare speak to me or try to apologize because that would be like admitting he was less than perfect, which is obviously absurd....ha. Anyway, I have been mostly happy with this arrangement because it also allows me to ignore the fact that he exists as best I can, which is preferable. Until now. For some sadistic reason he has decided to start hitting on my best friend. He knows she is my best friend, and he also knows that she hates him because he hurt me pretty significantly.
The thing is, if I had hurt him in some way this behavior would be more understandable. Still immature, but understandable. HE IS THE ONE WHO HURT ME, so I am having some difficulty understanding his motives here. The truth is, I still have a few tiny leftover feelings for him (as annoying as that is) so it is really starting to get to me. I try not to let on that it is but I'm sure that he probably knows.
My question is this: have you ever had an experience with a person who you felt genuinely had no conscience?
Maybe that's a bit harsh, but I can't think of another way to describe it right now.
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- From: wtf_idk_quotes@xanga
- Name: wtf_idk_quotes
- About Me: I'm Katie and i'm 18. I like to write quotes when I have the inspiration. Take what you want, no credit necessary. Comments are awesome! I'm not here to make friends, but i'll be your friend if you want. I guess that's about all. Have a nice day. :)
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Comments (28)
wow that sorta fits what happend to me except our moms know eachother and sorta force us to hang out sometimes and one minute it's like he wont even catch my eye and the next hes smiling and talking to me again .. also when we all went on a trip a girl he knew from his old school showed up and he hung out with her the whole time and didnt say a word to me for basicly the rest of the trip ..its really frustrating. i just cant understand him. but anyway sorry i got a little side-tracked there :p to awnser your question i have no idea XD im sure the guy you're talking about does have a conscience. plus maybe hes trying to make you jealous by flirting with your friend ..?
OMG this dude is a true dick head, honestly hurt him with your actions and just ignore the prick. he isnt worth your time or energy and if your good at it as i am when he is around he is just like a clear glass u see right thru him and do the same things u would do as if he wasnt there. I dont see how u still even have tiny feelings for him after all the crap he has put you thru and still putting u thru. for anyone else the feelins would have been gone. I hope you get over him very soon. UGH!!!!!
Sooooo.... you got physically involved with someone you like and didn't think to ask them for clarification as to how they felt about you, and it's up to him to apologize? Lol.
Oh god.
I dated a guy awhile ago who I swear has no conscience. Right after we broke up he decided to date my ex gf even though I told him not to because I could tell he was interested in her. Then he wanted me to join in and date them both. Years later after he moved away and came back he acted all lovey dovey with me for awhile which of course I fell for, stupid me, and when I wouldn't put out, went after another one of my ex gf's and took her virginity. 2 years after high school he's in jail now for raping a 13 year old, and dating 2 16 year olds and 2 17 year olds at the same time whenever he's 21. I just don't understand how people can live with themselves after doing stuff like this.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - let me make myself clear... i let him know how i felt and he wasn't ready for anything at the time. i let him come to me when he was. i guess it was naive of me to think that he wanted anything other than what he got from me.
Use your friend to break his heart? LOL just kidding, don't do that.
Continue to ignore him. Make sure your best friend ignores him, too. Dude is being a douchebag. Douchebags need to be ignored until they realize their douchebaggery doesn't work and maybe being nice will.
YES.
The first guy I dated has no problems with the number of people he's dated, kissed, done whatever, with. He continues on with it, no conscience about how many girls he's intentionally led on, screwed over, tricked.... ugh.
that's the kind of shit this one guy I went out with a billion years ago would do. he would go out with a girl, and then go out with her best friend.
perhaps talk to your friend. what he did was disrespectful - used you then never spoke to you again? a good best friend would support you.
ignore him. do not speak to him, do not glare at him - keep your dignity. try to look like you're always having fun. give the appearance of moving on, even if you haven't. unless you can think of a way to get revenge [or if you're above that], then you're going to have to be the mature one.
yes
ex bf
cheated on me the first tiem fucked around with all these german girls
took him back
cheated on me with his ex gf and made me lie to her and say that i was just friends with him when he was my bf =='
idiot
glad thats done and over
x
YES.
You know what, it's like the same exact situation you have.
It's hella frustrating. I wish he'd acknowledge that at least, it happened.
not the fact that they don't have one, just the thing that it is being ignored.
and their just a dick.
ehhhh......that's life.
it's okay, we've all been through it ;p
best wishes, :]
this is going to sound mean... but I don't really see what the problem is.
lots of girls out there "flirt" with guys with no real goal in mind. how is a guy supposed to tell the difference between you and one of these girls. there should have been some kind of communication between you two like: "I like you, I want us to date." at least something along that line.
now he's hitting on your best friend. he's a jerk. but then again, if you are not "allowed" to like your friends' past flings... then this world would be a lot less crowded.
be mature about it. talk to him, confront him if you will. let him know it was shitty what he did. and if he really cares for your friend, tell him to try again in a few months when you're less pissy. because you know you wont care in a few months. now you still do because... JEALOUSY!!!!
harsh. but so's the real world.
i agree with the person above me. some guys for whatever reason do not like to admit that they are wrong. and they would rather ignore the situation and hope it goes away peacefully rather than just deal with it (i find it cowardly and don't think it works). your guy might too scared to say anything right now...so checking back months after the fact might help. i've seen the distance ignite curiosity in guys when u contact then out of the blue. sad, but true.
I think he's just a sadist... I hope he doesn't turn out to be a psycho sociopath though. Hopefully your friend will stick with you and you'll get over him. :/
@wtf_idk_quotes@xanga - Exactly.
@yukarimayhem@xanga - I was in exact same situation. argh
@xXCrystal_RaindropsXx@xanga - sucks right
at least thats gone and done now :)
x
yup let him GO
not worth it :]
yea u need to stop putting ur energy and thoughts into this loser, hope he gets his, and move on w ur life.
Oh honey, been there, done that... for like a year. Like everyone else has said, he's not worth it.
Everyone goes through this or similar messes, unless they're mature enough to not get physical before all of the doubts have been cleared. A man who respects you would try to get along with you and have a good time without it. It just stumps, even dumbfounds some of us, that you'd even make out without knowing in your heart that he's "the one." Those who respect are on a whole other level from those jerks. Our way of thinking is nearly, often completely, incompatible. If a respectful man won't make out with you it's because he has respect for ladies and doesn't understand why it's needed, unless you and he are already in love, if someone else does make out with you, it has everything to do with getting as far as he can physically.
Women have such a horrible time reading men. Esp. go getters and those who respect them selves enough to back away and contemplate being single for life. If you can't tell his type before going deep, don't.
Yes, I'm somewhat in that situation right now. My guy best friend and I really flirt with each other just for fun. Even though I told him I liked him before (like falling for him) but he said he didn't feel the same, he said he wanted to stay as real good friends... with benefits. Anyway, although he's not taking some sort of revenge on me, I know how you're feeling. It sucks bigtime since it's like you can't seem to ever be together. In my case, I just enjoy the times I spend with him coz it's recently been seldom, and I sometimes just think back on those times when we were having so much fun together. I love him still, but that means having to accept the fact that that's all we'll ever be--best friends, nothing more. In your case, you have to protect your best friend from getting hurt the way he hurt you. There could be someone else out there for you, and this could just be a test if you're really strong enough to step out of this mess. :)
We all lack conscience when it comes to our own greater benefit.
Yeah, you need MUCH better judgment in the guys you date.