Saturday, 22 August 2009
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I CHOOSE Not to Have Sex
When I was younger I used to be really sheltered. My dad was never really around and my mom wanted to hide me from everyone else, to protect me from the big bad world, I guess. I went with my mom everywhere and did everything with her so in turn, I did the thing most children do, I copied her. I copied her ideals and beliefs and sense of humor and even her extreme nosiness. But my mom also taught me to respect everyone, especially women. She told me not to be like my dad, to look out for and take care of the ones I care about, the ones I love. But she also left out a few things. Since I was so sheltered I had few friends, and hardly anyone my age lived in my apartment building full of 80-year-olds.
My dad should have taught me the important stuff, but I had to learn on my own. I became friends with people without the idea of sex crossing my mind. All through middle school people thought I was gay because I really didn't show a real interest in girls. I was quiet, read a lot, didn't really show interest in sports. I didn't even really know what sex was until 8th grade.
In high school the learning curve came quickly. You pick up on things fast when you realize what you have to do to make friends. But I never really felt the need to run out and hook up with some random girl. Guys bragged about losing their virginity at 11, but I never felt the need to. But my first girlfriend came later the end of that year, and my friends where always trying to tell me what to do to score. I shrugged it off. I knew what was right from my mom, that I should wait until I want to, and not when people said I should.
But now I see how sad it really is. Guys who are so scared to be called gay or who know too much for their own good rush into these things. One of my best friends had sex when he was 14 and I love the guy, but he's a complete man whore. He can't keep a girl and thinks that high school is one big screw-fest.
His future is going to be effed up. With this idea in his head that the best thing you can get from a girl is sex, I don't think he will ever have a real relationship, ever get married and be happy with the one girl.
This is why our society is effed up. Almost everything we see is advertising sex in some way. Billboards, magazines, television, movies, and those iffy spam emails that we get. When society is built on something as flimsy as sex, nothing good can come of it.
Sex, without love, is a lie. A false fulfillment. It gives you a fake sense of self-worth that disappears as soon as its over, and it leave you jumping from person to person seeking acceptance, trying to overshadow our insecurities. Sex is a feeling, a high if you will, but is it all worth it when the haze clears and the game is over. It should be saved for the right moment, for love, when you no longer need to feel insecure, when that one person more that makes up for everything bad you've ever felt about yourself.
Maybe I'm living in a fantasy land, but I refuse to give up on that fantasy without trying.
I'm 17, male, and a senior in high school. I'm a virgin. And proud to be one.
p.s.....
"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers." - Coach Carr, Mean Girls
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About the Author
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- From: mrpokefan81@xanga
- About Me: If I were you I would press the back button at the top of your computer screen right now. This page isn't intended for the weak of heart and mind to read. But if you think you have the balls then come on in. If you think you can handle it then go ahead, scroll down the page. If your that adventurous then welcome. Welcome to the scary, crazy, riduclous, erratic, magical, retarded, disturbing, psycho, random realm that is my mind.
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Comments (210)
kudos to you! I believe in abstainance as well. True love waits<3
"Sex, without love, is a lie. A false fulfillment."
That's the way I see it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with not being virgin as well.
I've my personal beliefs and reasons, no one else should be judge by my own reasons.
xo
Whooo!
More power to ya! Takes a lot of strength and self-respect to stand up for this (especially as a male).
You and I both !!!!! :)
Good for you! I'm staying a virgin until marriage, too :)
i think it's different for every person. some people can just do it for fun and they're happy with that. they don't think it's a false fulfillment or a lie. :P
i'm waiting until i'm in love, too, though. good for you for making that decision! it's quite rare (esp. for guys!). :D
Good on you for not letting others influence your choice! :)
Couldn't agree with you more. :)
This is awesome to see a guy feel this way. If there was a three eProps button, I would SO give it to you. Haha.
Woot! I'm waiting until marriage, too. :D
abstinence rockssss <3 i totally agree with yu . me & my boyfriend have been in a relationship 4 3 years and we still have not had sex. and it is the best thing in the world 2 tell people that we havent.
me too (: well...now I am 17, a college freshman, still a virgin and proud of it. I had an boyfriend before who I thought I loved, but apparently he didn't love me enough cause he broke up with me over this very matter... but its okay (: I am waiting for someone who truly and absolutely loves me and/or marriage, which ever comes first.
Good for you! Who cares what they say?
it's good to respect others.
High five for sheltered childhoods and bodily respect! (18 & also never been physical.)
Awesome, much respect for you. One of my good friends is 24 and still waiting, like you. And it's tough when you're in a world where, like you said, it's the norm.. it's all we see. He gets made fun of all the time, but I admire the hell out of him. I don't exactly feel the same, but in a sense I do: I wanted to wait but found someone and didn't. We had a few experiences and I don't think there's any harm in it as long as you are safe. We don't do anything anymore and we have been dating for almost three years. I dunno, I think it would be scary to wait and wait until you are married and then find out at that point, the first time you sleep with that person, that somehow you are not compatible sexually. Maybe if you love them it won't matter in some cases, but I think it is still important. I am completely against just fucking every person in sight while you're in high school/college/university, though. I do agree that it's about loving the person and knowing that it actually means something, and meaning it yourself.
Alright! Good for you! It's really encouraging to see that there still are some decent guys in the world.
I am proud to say that I am teenage girl and a virgin and will stay that way until marriage, just as it should be.
Good post!
Just when I thought I couldn't love this post any more, a Mean Girls quote appears.
You are one smart guy. I respect you.
Good for you! I was 23 when I had sex for the first time (on my wedding night). I had to know that my husband was in it for the long haul before I would give myself to him in that way.
wooohoo!
Agreed.
I agree with u.
http://www.datingish.com/703509484/i-love-surprising-people-by-telling-them-im-waiting/
Welcome to the club, man. =D It's a fun life.
whooowoo! You're one heck of a kind. Keep it up, kiddo. Your mom raised you well! Major Kudos with both of you! ^_^
AMEN! i totally agree that society today is sex-centered. why do u need half nekkid people to sell cameras and hamburgers? young people, heck people in general, are so pressured to give in to instant gratification that they dont think about afterwards till it's too late.
i'm saving it for marriage. abstinence FTW!
(and you know what life-long qualities that develops? SELF CONTROL AND PATIENCE. which is something the world needs desperately.)
woot!! hi5~~ good on ya!!!! :D I wish there were more guys out there like you~~