Saturday, 22 August 2009
-
Girl Friend or Girlfriend?
I've been dating a guy from high school for about a month and a half now. Let's call him Jason. Jason and I get along quite well to say that we were on total polar opposites in high school. He was the jock, football player, totally popular and even got voted biggest flirt of our class. (What an award!) I, on the other hand, was nowhere near popular. I was known as the girl on the dance team who hangs out with that Asian and black girl. I never thought I'd fall for a guy like him until I saw how much he changed now that we graduated... Or what I thought had changed...
Well, he has this friend, and it just so happens to be a girl. Sure, I'm not the jealous type, but this happens to make me a little uncomfortable. Let's call the girl Kelly. Jason and Kelly I guess were friends in high school but I never really saw them together. Anyway! He is constantly texting, calling and hanging out with her. She always tells him to come visit her at her job. He was at her job 6 out of 7 days this week so far. I believe he will make it 7 out of 7 soon.
Jason is constantly at Kelly's house. On top of that, he will straight up send me pictures of himself from her room. FROM HER ROOM!! I know what his bed posts, wall colors and blanket patterns look like and it is NOTHING like his room from what I've observed. When I told him my mother wanted to meet this infamous "Jason" I've been hanging out with lately, he said he was nervous and isn't too good with parents. I expected that, and told him we didn't have to rush. Later that week, Jason texts me saying he is hanging out with "Kelly and her mother". I was like, "Say what?!" What happened to not being good with parents? What happened to "I waited a year to meet my ex's mother"?! (I know… A LONG time.)
He says they are just friends and I’m the only one “on his mind”, but I can't help but think that they are more than that. I don't want to seem like the jealous girl because the guy I'm dating is really close to a girl friend, but I can’t help but keep bringing up the thoughts of Mr. Biggest Flirt from high school in my mind.
Should I believe he has given up his old flirtatious ways or should I just leave him alone and let him have her and only her?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: nevar21
- Name: nevar21
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 2176 Comments: 0 52 View all posts by nevar21
Comments (37)
oh hmm it sounds a lil bit suspicious.
if they've known each other a long time, it's only natural that he knows her parents. and he may not think anything of meeting them because he's not the "boyfriend" and thus didn't have to leave the awesome impression he feels he has to make with yours.
So is Jason your boyfriend or what? I'm confused. If he's not, he has no obligation to you. If he is, what he is doing is wrong, unless he was friends with Kelly for a long time. But maybe you could try to have a get together with them
observe how he acts around her and how she acts around him. That'll give you the heads up on whether or not to really just lose this guy!
i've been there. i wouldn't say it was wrong, but if he's spending more time with her than you, his girlfriend, then that IS problem. his past makes his actions questionable, but it's true--sometimes guys do have platonic girl friends. you should let him know in a non-confrontational way that you have some concerns, and suggest ways to fix it that don't completely require him to change his lifestyle. like have all three of you hang out together (but probably invite a few more friends to avoid the super-awkwardness).
Hmm...have you had the exclusivity talk yet? I think until it's official that you two are exclusive, you're free to date other people. But, it seems like he's not being truthful with you regarding the relationship with the other girl. I don't think he's a keeper...
So you and Jason are in a relationship or what? o-o
Sounds a little fishy to me. But I guess it's... natural if they've been friends for a long time.
@tastytimmm@xanga - I agree. If I were you, I would be waaaaaay jealous. He should NOT be in her room. :/
I think you should do like what a few others have said and talk to him in a non-confrontational way about your feelings. Then maybe hang out with the two of them, maybe hang out with her alone to... after hanging out with both of them for a time.
Also, i would maybe just talk to this Jason fellow about him going over to her house. Maybe not say he can't go over there, because then he might get defensive or angry, but maybe ask him just not to go in her room. Just tell him that makes you really uncomfortable.
i am a little bit confused is he your bf or what??? sending you his pic from his girlfriend's room? sounds like a typical player jugging between two girls.
It's a lot more stressful to meet an SO's parents.
Maybe he doesn't like her...or maybe she likes him, but he thinks they are just friends. Or maybe neither of them like the other and are completely platonic.
In any case, if you want to stay together, you should probably talk to him about this...communication is the key in any relationship.
girl, no. at her house? visiting at each others jobs?? sorry but absolutely not. things are just gonna start bubbling over pretty soon if you don't do anything about it. talk with him, tell him how you feel. depending on his response, do what you think you have to do. at least, do what's best for you.
From the way he's acting, he and his "girl-friend" are standing a little too close to the friend/more-than-friends boundary, in my opinion. Excessive calling/texting, visiting her at work almost every day, being in her room... doesn't sound like just a friend to me. =/ You need to talk to him - that is without a doubt. And if he says you're being paranoid, do the old "what if you were in my position" trick. There's no way he wouldn't understand then.
Best to you!
it's only been a month and a half, but to be honest, I don't hang out with any guy that much without being interested. he might like you but like her more, and he could be dating you to keep himself from making a move.
the 3 of you should hang out ... then you can figure out if he likes her or not.
is she attractive? my ex has been friends with this one girl for like 6 yrs - they're good friends, because she's not super attractive.
Are you guys in a relationship? I think its okay if they are really tight friends for a long time...but i do understand how you would feel. hmm, i dont know, maybe talk to him about him and see what he says...
are u just dating? coz if u are, then you shouldn't really be jealous (even though some of us girls usually do)
but if you're the girlfriend, then I'd be a little suspicious. that's a lot of time spent together them two. and I don't even brig my guy best friend in my room and all. I just think that's too much time for people who are just "friends"
yeah..... he likes her.
unless she's giving him free Jamba Juices with extra immunity boosts or she works at a sports bar....there's no reason to visit a girl at her work (even if its a good friend) SIX OUT OF SEVEN days.
i've had that happen to me...he's ACTUALLY DATING THE GIRL now right after she and her boyfriend broke up. The thing was when I was dating him, he would always listen to her calls and text and IMs even though I was at his house. He even cared about her when she was sick bringing her honey for tea but when I was sick I felt he didn't show as much attention. I always felt second place compared to his friends boys and girls, but because she would whine him when he didn't respond to her text I would feel upset because I'm suppose to getting his attention right now, I'm at his house watching tv with him and IMing away with her. This lead to many arguements. But after every arguements he reassures me there was no way that was possible. I was prettier and she was boring. We broke up new years eve, and now finally after 7 months or breakup her and her boyfriend break up they get together. I am sort of disappointed because all my suspecions were confirmed. Sometimes you just have to listen to your gut.
no. even if it's his mom.
Tell him to fuck off and find a guy who is worth a shit.
@my_secret_diary_xx@xanga - I agree
talk to him about it... dealing with a friend's parent and dealing with a date's parent are two different things. Just talk to him about your feelings.
If he's been hanging out with her more than with you- then yeah, that's kind of suspicious. Has he been good friends with his girl friend for a long time, like really? You might want to just talk to him about what you are feeling and why you're feelign that way- just to make things clear.
Honestly, I'd say get out now.
BUT, I know its easier said than done, and that there is a little chance that he doesnt think much of it.
I think you need to just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and confront him about it. That's the only way to see what's really going on. If he really cares for you he'll accept how you feel and try to fix it. And if he gets defensive, then something may be up. But remember to let him know you're not jealous that you understand they're just friends so he doesn't feel like you're a controling girlfriend. Communication is EVERYTHING in a relationship.
.