Miss Gorilla
My boyfriend and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary and we couldn't be happier. We spend a lot of time together, remain loyal, and genuinely love each other. The problem started when I realized somewhere around two or three months that my SO loved me exactly as I was. Once I was certain that he wouldn't pick up and leave or judge me in a negative way, everything went downfall--at least, physically speaking.
The more comfortable I became in my relationship, the more I seemed to physically let myself go. In the past year, I have gained roughly fifteen pounds. We eat junk food, we lay around in bed, and develop all around bad habits. I stopped watching my weight, obsessing over bad hair days, and spending hours planning outfits. I developed the attitude "I have a boyfriend and he loves me no matter what" and somehow along the way I have lost complete confidence in my appearance. When I was single, I simply put more time into how I looked.
Is it just me, or does this happen to anyone else? Do you let yourself go in a relationship?
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Comments (62)
lol u fail he will dump u soon lawl
Oh shit, I got first comment, now everyone is going to yell at me. GOTTA GO.
Yes, but I don't view it the same way you do--not stressing about weight, bad hair days, etc. is a big positive in my book--not "letting myself go."
I'm willing to bet you're happier and less stressed out in general than when you're really worried about your appearance. So what's the big deal? It sounds like you have a much healthier mindset now than you did before.
I'm not saying that being confident in your relationship means you should give up bathing or taking care of yourself, just that I see the whole weight/appearance obsessed attitude so many girls (including myself) get into when we're single or in a new relationship as the abnormal mindset, not the other way around.
well the thing i can say is i'm pretty sure nobody likes to feel unhealthy so just find ways to be more active like going on runs or walks, or just taking little random trips and exploring places as long as your out doing something when your that in love you'll enjoy doing things regardless of what it is so just take those good feelings and turn it into an active life style. Aside from that having a little extra weight never hurt anyone. Just be yourself and do what makes you happy everything else will work itself out
...no.
boyfriends make you fat, when you have a boyfriend you eat together, and get fat together.... fabulous.
try doing the dirty dirty more often!
lol omg i just realized this a couple of days ago too !! i gained 10 poundsss over this past yearrr , im determined to lose these 10 pounds even if it kills me! theres no reason why i cant be in good shape and happy in my relationship lol
i'm pretty much the same. i wear makeup less, worry about what i wear less, and yes we develop bad habits. laying around, watching tv and eating all day... i do love it.
nope
apparently there was a study not too long ago that women who weren't in relationships were "thinner" than those in relationships. the study claimed it had to do with the fact that the "thinner" women were still trying to attract a man. *shrug* if you've found someone who makes you feel good, that's the best you can ask for. just remember that you are good enough even if you don't have a man.
I tend to put the same effort into looking good whether I'm in a relationship or not. But I don't have much maintenance to do so it's kinda meh.
My boyfriend tries to do those same things with me--eat junk food, lie around in bed all day, etc. I don't mind it sparingly, but I DO have other things to do. Balance is key.
Lol, I can never gain weight. I mean. Five pounds at the most ? Its easy to blow off.
Just try to eat healthier, instead of eating junk food together try to take walks around the park together an play. That sounds funner anyways.
Just make sure you're not unhealthy. Eating your junk food and lying around bed isn't just letting your looks go, it's letting your health go too.
I'm the opposite. I never cared about attracting guys until AFTER I met my boyfriend. Not that I care about attracting other guys now, but I spend more time with my hair and make-up now than before. I wasn't ever really a girly girl, but it's more fun for me now. At the same time, it really takes the pressure off knowing my boyfriend likes me whether I'm all duded up or wearing my favorite sweats from junior high school. =)
that happens to me too! but then I realize it and start being girly again, haha. I've been with my SO for 2 years so we're probably TOO comfortable with eachother...
I've never gone that far with a guy. It's always been in the tense butterfly stage in the beginning where things are still fragile and it's still important to me to look my best for him. Even though we went out on dates and ate out, I lost about 13 lbs in the first 2 or 3 weeks that we dated. When we broke up, I stopped caring so much about how much I ate and now I'm back to my original weight.
uh.
not in every relationship. sure, i've seen some people get married and slowly... er... expand, but it doesn't happen to everyone.
i'm neurotic enough where even if i landed the perfect guy and we got married and blah, blah, blah, i'd still freak out about my hair and my waistline. because that's just the ind of person i am.
Yeap, we are on the same boat. I can understand how you feel. Because of the mindset that "since we're already attached, and there's no need to constantly upgrade our looks" and live their lifestyle (ultimate eating habits guys have). But now that I'm in such a situation, i became extremely inferior and sensitive towards looks and all..resulting in minor depression, so I think we shouldn't live for the sake of others but rather for ourselves. And if the guy really bothers the way you look, then all the more you shouldn't change for such a person. What's yours will eventually come back to you. But if it doesn't, no matter how much we change for our significant half, they will still leave us one day. And you have only yourself, so why not cherish and live life to the fullest. =)
oh mannn this is so me but i don't feel that bad about it, he loves me the way i am!
If he loves you and this doesn't diminish his attraction to you and you haven't become unhealthy as a result, I say it's no big deal.
I am not like that at all. Even if I know that he loves me no matter what and thinks I'm gorgeous no matter what, it's the way I feel about myself that keeps me getting all pretty in the mornings. I don't have to watch my weight or anything, but my hair and makeup definitely...I like to get pretty for my boyfriend more often than not. I get nice clothes, make my hair nice, put on nice makeup, etc. I want him to know that even though he doesn't care what I look like, I still do that nice thing for him AND me. :]
Maybe if you think about it that way, it'd be easier. He may love you either way, but if you get pretty for him then he'll love putting his arm around you and kissing you so everyone can see just how gorgeous the love of his life is. :]
I never let myself go in a relationship, it just seems to me that that should make you want to pick yourself up even more.
Good luck!
I don't let getting comfortable with my boyfriend stop me from looking good. We'll chill in our PJs together all the time, and we don't care about looking good or wearing flattering clothes around eachother, but I still want to keep my shape sexy for him, you know? (then again, it's not too much of a chore for me, but still) When we go out on dates in public, I'll dress myself in some nice jeans, flattering shirt, maybe a push-up bra. He's a good looking guy all the time(he never does anything special, or dresses differently to look amazing), and I just like to be a good-looking couple out in public, if that makes any sense.
So no, I can be a couch potato with bedhair with my boyfriend all day, but I still want to keep myself looking good.
Going out to eat, cooking together...it's all a sport in a relationship. I don't want to gain weight, but he says I should [but he does love me no matter what]. I try to keep myself looking good and putting effort in outfits I choose so I still look nice. I want him to be able to show me off and be proud that he has a good-looking girlfriend :]
Lol, either way... I never change for the guy unless it's a really bad habit/thing. I love food and eat all the time, I just don't gain it.