Friday, 21 August 2009
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Help Me Keep A Guy
I want to know how to keep a guy. I have a mild problem with over-texting/IMing but I doubt that has anything to do with it (some of these guys text me way more than I ever dream of texting them). Then again that is just who I am... I always have been (okay, maybe only since 6th grade, but still).
I just want to know if it is actually possible to keep a guy anymore...or does everything end up finished (be it divorce or breakup)? I am a romantic and I constantly dream of meeting "HIM"..I keep meeting these great guys but for some reason they keep disappearing...Why is that? I'm worth more than a hit-it-and-quit-it relationship...So why can't I find one?
Does anyone have any tips or advice...maybe even some personal experience they can share to help me?
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About the Author
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- From: BriMari@xanga
- Name: Bre
- About Me: I'm a 19 year old girl Raised in the South.. I love to hang out with my friends and party I love Photography I am also looking for a job(hopefully I'll get one soon) I absolutley love the beach! I am a Studio Arts Major in my 3rd year at UWF.. I love it there..Though I can't wait to Graduate and start enjoying life I am a little bit old school but also a little bit new... I love it!!! ;) I am me and that ain't gonna change for anyone :)
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Comments (28)
My advice...stop lookin' and don't let him "hit it"....patience is a good thing
it's true, patience it's a good thing.
Another thing, guys don't like girls that are too clingy. When i met my boyfriend i had too make some "tricks" to avoid him a few days (like 3 days)
Don't send too much messages.
and don't ask yourself "is he the one?" every time you meet someone new. it's the best way to appear clingy.
Just wait and see what happens. you'll eventually find the one. it worked for me.
And yes i think it's possible to keep a guy... especially when HE wants to keep YOU
Hmmm, go out to new places and meet new guys there. When you first meet the dude you shouldn't start assuming "he's the ONE" or he isn't... it takes time for you to realize.
over-texting can be the problem...
play a little bit of hard to get in a relationship... that might help
yea, over-texting isn't always a great thing.. my best friend does that a lot. haha glad he's not my bf.. i would get very upset..
Make sure you do romantic things for them too. Show them you care and are truely a good person and not just about them but their friends family ect being nice to one person doesnt make you a nice person which i find most people think...
Things i would look for in a woman not really in a paticular order:
Adventurous
Make me laugh
Someone i can talk the night away with
Someone who knows when to give me space (I get really bogged down with school at times)
Someone who knows when not to give me space (guys like attention too..)
Ambitious
Finds joy in life
A cute/beautifull girl... not a sexy/hot girl (I find super small skirts hot yes, but i wouldnt date a girl that wears them)
Smart
Geniounely nice
Shares some common intrests--I dont want someone who likes everything i like, when you have diffrent intrests its like opening eachother up to new worlds.
im sure the list could go on but i think those are prime
First off men dont like a female that gives it up easily so if thats what ur doing well there is your answer. also guys dont like when a female is clingy in the begining, give the guy some space and let him miss you. I dont think texting or aiming has anything to do with it. unless the guy is just imature and just doesnt want u and gives the littlest excuse to not be with u.
I don't text, but I do IM. A standard rule I go by is to not continue too long on 1 thought if you can make it coherent in less words and also, don't start talking about something else before they reply or else it's like you're talking to yourself.
I too have the problem about keeping a guy though. I've never really had a boyfriend. :X
Sounds like someone needs a dose of Love Potion No. 9
overtexting/im'ing = omg so clingy. guys usually steer clear from the beginning.
You Have To Be A Man - Play The Game! Whatever Stupid Shit They Do (Not Calling, Ignoring, Not Acting Too Clingy, ETC.) Act Like That Until They Start Showing Signs Of What You Would Normally Do. Basically, Give Them A Chase. A Friend Taught Me This, And Ever Since - It Has Worked For Me. Try It!
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Awww *patpat* . . . Someday! :D
@Mercredi@lovelyish - Yes, some advice would be to get a hobby other than paying attention to your boyfriend. Also makes you look more awesome! (just nothing overly creepy on the first date like, I knit a 10yd scarf with your name on it.)Moderation is the key!!
Learn to give good head. Just sayin'.
And why listen to girls on how to keep guys?
I can't exactly tell you how to keep him, there are some excellent points posted already. But I can tell you that it is possible. I was with my guy for two years, we broke up because of college. But 6 months later we realized we both still love eachother, we are back together, going strong & I transfered to a different school so I could be with him. <3
Best of luck!
How to keep a guy 101
1) If he takes you to a nice place, offer to pay once (to seem polite) and no more than once. If a guy pays for you, his mind will justify his actions. (Ex. I just spent $50 on this girl, I must really like her.)
2) When you go on a date, go somewhere that gets your adrenaline pumping or where he can show off a little. (Ex. Amusement park, sky diving, ice skating, or whatever... you get the idea) This is called "Misattribution of Arousal." (My heart is pumping really fast, it must be because I really like this girl.)
3) Stop texting and start calling him (not too much ~1 time/2days). If he doesn't pick up, leave him a short message and don't keep calling and hang out with friends. For now, make your friends the center of your life. If he feels like you're around him too much, he will distance himself from you.
4) Concentrate on making every moment with him exciting. You don't have to be around him all the time in the beginning stages of a relationship. Even if he hangs with you only once a week, as long as it is exciting every time, he will want more.
5) Don't be easy. Wait before you have sex with him. If he doesn't have the decency to wait, then he's probably not a good guy.
Good luck. I hope these are relevant. :)
(Sources are 3 year failed relationship + Social Psych course)
You're 19. Don't rush it.
Give it about three or four years. You'll find that the guys are a lot more willing to stick after they've gotten their college wildness out. There's no rush, here. Let the guys mature a little more and meanwhile, enjoy your singleness, because I'll tell ya...if you don't, you're gonna miss it.
-Katie
I have a few questions for you and hopefully these questions can lead you to self reflection.
1. Do you have a good level of self esteem and self worth?
2. Do you find yourself sleeping with guys because you think it will make them like you more?
3. Are you always available to a guy whenever he calls?
4. Do you usually find yourself initiating most phone calls? Texts?
5. What is from your family, history, background and pushes you to look for "the one" at such an early age?
These questions are important to answer honestly
In relationships, you should never be TOO available because you begin to lose your mystery and who wants to be with someone they know everything about right from the start?
It's good to allow the guy to initiate contacting you most of the time because HE should be competing for your time and attention, not the other way around.
Making a guy wait for sex is always good because you can weed out the losers a lot easier. Also because he may be smiling in your face to get some action but going back to his friends saying completely different things about you. Men will say whatever you want to hear if it means they can have sex with you, never underestimate that...
Go out with your girls, travel, get a hobby, get into extra curriculars at school because you should be out living your life to its fullest extent instead of worrying about finding "the one".
And finally, you shouldn't worry about how to keep a guy, a guy should worry about how to keep YOU!
Good luck :)
@Starring_Hobo89@xanga - This is very helpful! I'm taking Social Psych this coming semester :).
you just havent met the right one yet. stop looking, and they will come to you. and when they come, wait until they can "hit it." So you'll know that they're forreal or not
trust each other completely
and let yourself go to him
its hard
but
its worth it?
(can be)
x
It might not be the amount of times you text or IM them, but instead perhaps what you text or IM them about?
I know that when I was dating someone, they had a tendency to call, text or IM me several times a day just to talk about "us"
That was fine and dandy! For a while...and then it got kind of boring and even a little irritating. I loved talking about us, but I did have other things on my mind! And I was sure they must have too! But they got upset when I told them that, and...yeah, I just let it go. Which was a mistake, because it ended up being the reason we eventually broke up. :/
It just got very stifling after a while, almost like the old cliche of saying, "you're smothering me!"
Before I actually felt that way, I thought it was kind of a silly thing to base a break-up on, but then it happened and I had to admit that I'd been wrong. It really can be a problem.
But, I don't know, maybe that isn't what you text about. :p In that case, I have no help tips. I'm not a big dater, so I haven't got a whole-whole lot of experience to give advice from. :p
Patience is a virtue. No matter how hard you try to keep a guy, he won't stick unless he's the one. Seriously, you're still young. You're gonna meet that guy someday, and he'll be easy to 'keep'. (:
guys want what they can't get.
Don't make yourself too available, they will want to rape you hardxcore in the b00ty.
if those f00s want to hit it & quit it then they're not worth it. They're not even real, they don't exist. Do you want to date someone who doesn't even exist?
this comment is completely useless...LOL.
just quit lookin' they'll find you. =) It'll be worth it.