Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FMLToday, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FMLToday, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FMLToday, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having sex with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FMLToday, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FMLwhoops
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Comments (26)
Woooooooooow.
lol. the first one is my favorite. ouch.
xo
hahah, nice. you should do this for mylifeisaverage.com too [:
The second one is the funniest. x)
Personally I'm a fan of the fourth one. It's the "apparently" that really adds some ice to the irony there.
D'OH! It's not even "apparently," its "it seems." Hah--someday I will learn to read.
Poor last guy...
Wow. Just... wow. LOL XD
Serves #2 right for even watching the Miley Cyrus video. xD
LMFAO #1 hahahahahah!
the last one is funny XP
My friend showed me one earlier this week...I'll just have to paraphrase, but it was basically:
"Today, my husband and I were having sex. When I was almost done, he shouts, "Shit! It's 4:15! My strawberries are gonna whither!" And jumped off of me to check his FarmVille, an imaginary farm on Facebook. FML."
@xdropdeadxradx@xanga - LOL!!! Omg. Though, I do have to say, I love farmville.
@Fairywife@xanga - I'm more of a farm town person. lol!
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Agree, haha!
It seems that most of these are guys who have been confused... maybe the girls led them on, or maybe they thought there was something going on when there really wasn't. haha
The last one is my personal favorite, but ouch, damn that girl's really darn clueless!
HAHAHA.
ehhh i don't understand the first one. :(
LOL. to the first one
I about defined the scientific term for "elimination" (concerned w/ GI tract) when I read the quote about Miley Cyrus's music video. That is probably the truest, most embarassing FML moment I could possibly think of, and it's incredibly hilarious.
Omg, these are sooo hilarious! second one is hahahahha... and the fourth one... LOOOOOL.
Lol, I don't know if I would put those things up there if that were me, on any site. Even if it was a site where I could remain totally anonymous! I'd just be too embarrassed.
And I wouldn't be surprised if one day I did decide to put something on a site like that and I was able to remain anonymous that someone I knew was also a member of the site (and I just wasn't aware) and they saw and KNEW it was me and outed me! Lol!
That didn't happen, of course, but I could definitely SEE it happening to me. That is just my luck. :p
However, I loved these, they were hilarious. :)
@xueyo@xanga - I know, it got me too! Until I went back and looked at it again when I saw in the comments that people were lol-ing over it.
In the first one, he doesn't say, "when I was with her" twice. The second time he says, "when I was IN her" as in they were having sex. :p That is an ouch for him, eh? She was so bored, I guess she decided she would update Facebook. :p
But, when I read it the first couple of times myself (because I thought it was kind of odd that he would say the same thing twice like that) I kept reading the "in her" as "with her" again. So, I got confused too. :p
@vampyrette@xanga - oh! haha k thanks. :) i knew it was 'in her' but i didn't understand at first. i was worse. i thought that the guy was inside the female's body. haha i know, so dumb of me to think of that.
LOL at the first one.
oh lawdddd, that's so embarrassing!
It really sucks when this stuff happens to you, but it's great for everyone else to laugh at.