I don't think it sounds like this guy values money above all else. It sounds like he's working very hard to be able to afford a nice house and things in the future. It seems to me that he's investing in his future (and probably in hers as well). I think he sounds like he's pretty wise about managing his money.

Maybe they can compromise as a couple. Can he dedicate one night per week to a date night with her? Can she be satisfied if she doesn't see him very often right now, while knowing that in the future, they'll be more financially secure?

When it comes to money, it's tough. Money above infidelity is the number problem to break up couples and even marriages. It sounds like he wants to work hard to secure a better future and lots of people will see that as a good thing because he at least has a future. You wouldn't want him to be like a previous post where the guy had no motivation to get a job and played video games for 13 hrs everyday.

It's understandable how he wants to work for the security of his future but the present is important too. Save money by not going to events here and there is okay to a certain extent, but deciding to work when he already RSVPed for a birthday party is wrong. Your friend seems to have been lenient enough for a while now with his saving habit but she deserves to be able to go out and have fun by spending time with her bf alone and with friends, even if it requires money.

Since the economy is very bad right now, he just wants to secure a better future.  I wouldn't say he "values money over love."  His car is in bad condition (it even sounds dangerous to drive in) and wanting to earn money for a better car and house is not wrong.  He said "he shouldn't have gone to Florida," knowing that he needed to save money for a car.  He's not trying to hurt your friend, he's just being realistic.  Wanting to work for a better future is not bad.  He's just working hard, trying to earn money.  Although money is not everything in life, you can't be happy without money either.  Your friend should understand him and support him instead of being mad at him.  If he misses an important meeting, one that he promised to go to, then you friend should talk to him about that and perhaps compromise with him.  Working hard to earn a living is important, but he also has to balance his social life. 

I say she should talk to him, if he doesn't want to hear about money, then don't talk about that.  He is insensitive for telling her to get a better job, so that he can look better though.  The best thing she can do right now is to try and communicate with him somehow.  Neither your friend or her bf is wrong b/c it takes two to argue.  I think they just need to communicate better with one another.  It's really hard to give advice without knowing the people.  However, if he hates hearing about money and you guys are arguing about the same topic over and over again, then don't bring up the same topic.  Money isn't the main issue, it's that the bf doesn't know how to work and relieve stress at the same time.  I think his work is overwhelming and stressing him out, so when your friend brings up the topic of money, he just vent out his stress on her.  Communication and compromises is all they need.  Try not to bring up the same topic and perhaps be more supportive toward his dream.  She can always get him to relax by spending time with him.  Having dinner at home after his work, renting a movie to watch together, just relaxing at home comfortably is probably heaven to someone who works so much.  I know that when I work a lot, all I wanted was to laze around at home after work.  Going out and stuff is just tiring, but I do try sometimes.  Just be more understanding and if she can talk to him when he's in a happier mood, then he will surely listen to what your friend has to say.  Never ever try to reason with an angry person b/c nothing will go through.  After any argument, give each other a day to calm down and then when you see him to make up.  Give him a kiss, make up and then calmly talk about your feelings.  Good luck to your friend!  

too many variables to consider any solutions for you at the moment. then again, adding his complete history would still make it difficult to help you lol maybe ya'll need to go to a psychiatrist?

"but her boyfriend told her that she should get a better job, so that would make him look better."

Whoa, what?

It seems like a lot of people are blaming the female in this situation. He regretted going to Orlando, but not Six Flags? I think that really, no one can comment on the situation, because they aren't involved parties. Sure ideas are great, but give the girl some slack. She sounds like she's doing her best to make it work. Good luck to your friend!

I have been raised to believe that money brings about happiness (must have bee due in fact to my workaholic mother (works 14-16 hrs a day at least 6 days a week) who's income alone places her in the top 1.5-2 percentile). Thus I am one who would choose money over "love" if it came down to it. Without decent money you will not be happy regardless of how other aspects of your life become- money tends to be a central issue in many relationships. Your friend's boyfriend seems to be smart with money and have good work ethnics, both of which are disappearing characteristics among Americans. He is thinking about his future rather than simply thinking about his present which is a great thing. I do not think she should get angry with him for choosing to further develop his career over spending a Saturday night out having fun. He is young, which is a great time to build momentum for his career or become a valued asset to the company for job security in these unstable economics times. Your friend seems like she is not doing well off from a career perspective if her boyfriend tells her that she ought to get a better career... she might be able to take some good pointers from him.

think about it this way, at least he's concerned for his own future and your friend is with someone who wants to be able to provide for her in the future. at least she's not with some asshole who has no goal in life, who just wants to mooch off her. i understand that its hard to be with someone like that (MY current relationship is like that) but these guys are faithful and caring. they just want to have a stable future. your friend just has to be patient. he may not be what you want right NOW, but he is definitely what every girl would want in the future. to end off a relationship that long over what he is doing, which is working hard, is ridiculously selfish. if she does it, she'll definitely regret it later on.

i don't know if this guy is a bad communicator or the fact that he just doesn't know how to manage his money and time effectively...  or maybe it's both...  btw, this is according to what you wrote, he told her that he regretted going to orlando with her...  if he knew he didn't have a lot money in the first place and had to get a new car, why did he go to orlando, and why didn't he not tell her he's financially tight at the moment...  if he's got to buy a new car, couldn't he just financed a car paying for it monthly for the next two-three years depending on how long it takes...  and shouldn't he figure out how much money he expects to make each month, make a budget to project how much he might have to spend or how much he will save or compare the actual to the budget to see if he was better off or worst of, or figuring out a way to cut cost rather than not keeping the same lifestyle...  if he's already made plans, he should follow through with it; not following through and wanting to work kind of makes it look like he rushing to make the money (as if he was in debt or something - like i mention, i'm not sure about his financials OR MAYBE SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S MAKING HIM STRESSED - telling him he's got to replace his car, making him spend money, putting him behind a few steps)...  maybe he figures he'll have to spend even more money going to it and then he'll have to work even harder the next couple of weeks/months...  and maybe he never agreed to the dinner, but then i would think that this relationship will eventually fail due to the bad communication...  who knows, like tastytimmm@xanga said, there's just too many variables to consider...

i personally think that's it's important to have money...  since most relationships problem are caused by money issues...  i understand that there has to be a balance, but hey, i think that rainy money saved up is just as important, like what happens if you have to do surgery, what happens if your car does break down, what happens if you have to go into a lawsuit...  it doesn't have to be a huge amount, but definitely should have one just in case... 

@utoppia@xanga - lol, good job with bringing up that previous post

"but her boyfriend told her that she should get a better job, so that would make him look better."

What? She doesn't even work and she's complaining? But the part with making him look better..?! Well what they said above, it's all about balance..

Smoke rolling out from under the hood of the car: car's about to die. Going on a trip to Orlando, to Six Flags, and other such trips strips needed cash for either repair or replacement of the car. In most cases, repair of a car - rather than a full replacement - is more economically sound. The economy's in a tight spot these days, and he's only trying to secure a more stable future - not just for himself, but, it seems, for her.

She is upset because he's not spending time with her, but consider: where does he sleep at night? Who is the first to receive his call? They have dated since college; she knows that he works for her, and she knows that he is working for the two of them. He shoulders much of the financial burdens himself, from what I am to understand.

He wants to save for a house; a permanent home. Does she not want to share in a future, together, with him, in a home? Are her concerns of missing parties, entertainment, travel, and societal concerns more important to her than a stable, fiscally sound future? Then, yes, she should seek out someone who works 35 hours per week or less, lives paycheck to paycheck, but has the time necessary to schedule in vacations, social engagements, and such.

Heavy stuff, for certain; but that's how it is. He's not likely to change, although if she were to share in his financial burdens, and if they were to sit together to work out a projected budget, perhaps they could plan ahead, and set aside a percentage of their funds, equally, in a CD investment to mature over time or something - find a point of compromise, together, and stick with it.

She made the advance scheduling for a birthday celebration; there is nothing wrong with stating, at the party, "He had to work tonight, but I am so glad I was free to come; he sends his best..", and move on.

Developing a life that two can live with does not necessitate being conjoined as Siamese twins;  perhaps having him develop the financial end, with her developing the social end of the household might keep both happy to use their strengths. Who knows?

It's just that they need to talk it out between each other, rather than talking it out outside of the two of them.

my grandpa always says that when your job becomes more important than your family, you should quit your job.  he's a wise man.