I always get this problem when I get involved in a serious relationship.
At one point or another, the guy I'm with just kind of waits for me to call first. I mean, we're still in love and all, but when I'm not physically there, they just forget to call (I guess). And I'm confident it's not cheating, they just either have way too much going on or well, it just slips their minds to call.
I was talking to my ex earlier and I was asking him for advice about my current relationship (I'm friends with my exes, and this ex is like my best guy friend, but we don't work as lovers).
I asked him "what if he tells me he'll call me back but then ends up not calling... do I call him back?" To which he answered "Honestly, I wouldn't call him. I'll wait for him to call. Give him time to miss you."
So then now 24+ hours later, I still have no calls from my BF.
How long do I have to wait before he gets to remember to call me? How long would you wait? What would you do?
My current BF and I have been dating for nearly 2 and a half years now and I know it's not cheating... It's just some weird unintentional "guy habit" of some sort.
Opinions, anyone?
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Comments (46)
don't wait - the longer you wait, the madder you'll get about him not calling. if it takes that long, he probably forgot. call him yourself, and say you expect the courtesy of a returned phone call, especially when he said he would return your call.
Hmm....you've been dating him for 2 & 1/2 years, so does this happen often? I would say if I had said I'll call back, then I'd call back and if I was busy, I'll still call back and at least wish my bf good night. However, if my bf said he'd call me back and doesn't, I'll call him back before midnight because I'm a worry wart and am just worried something might have happened to him. If you worry about your bf, then just call him. At least, you'd feel better about it. You don't have to wait for his call as your ex suggests. However, if this happens often, then in the future, if you want to avoid instances like these, talk to your bf and work things out.
Maybe your bf is use to you calling him. At first, I use to call my bf a lot, but now I'm not always the one calling. Sometimes he calls and other times I call. If you are always the one calling and you know for certain that nothing is wrong with your bf, then you can give him time to miss you. I would say wait from 3days to a week. I don't know you personally, but I know some one, who can't stand being away from her bf b/c she "can't function" without him. If you're the same way, you must try to change that b/c it's just unhealthy; just like being addicted to some kind of drug. Anyways, if you're not like that, then just wait patiently for his phone call. Don't stand by your phone and stare at it, just do something that you like, keep yourself busy, and give him some time. After all, part of being in a relationship is knowing how to respect each other's personal space.
lol it's been 2 and a half years, you're past the point of games. if you want to talk to him call him lady.
how old is your ex?
just call when you want to talk. do what you want to do. no need to think about these unnecessary things.
Just call him. You should be comfortable to do whatever by now
@doLc3@xanga - agreed
just call
@SupperMick@xanga - agreed
Not trying to sound negative, BUT... unusual habits can = infidelity... as confident as you might be, you might be in denail. And remember I said "can" and "might", not pointing fingers at all.
Honestly, if someone says they'll call you back EVEN when they forget... usually will remember by the end of the day and at least txt if its late. Thats what I do, i'll txt if its too late and say sorry I was busy forgot to call. And if they're awake, they'll call me back.
And just to prove my point, Its happened to me before.. like why girls always ask...why do men ever cheat with someone uglier? Some guys need the confidence boost knowing they're capable of having more than one girl. That happened to my ex and he never called as well, why? cuz he was with the other girl. When I found out, he came back to be BUT eventually I cheated on him in spite of all that happened. Not proud, but hey, what happened happened...
.... why don't you just suck it up and call?
2.5 yrs? honey, send him a text or something.
If you're hesitant to call your boyfriend of 2.5 years, something's wrong.
if you've dated for that long, i'd just call
maybe he doesn't like calling. i hate talking on the phone. one of the things i disliked about my ex was that he would call me all the time.
I would call him. If it bothers you this much, bring it up to him that you would love to get calls from him once in a while, too. Maybe he's just in a routine and doesn't realize that it bothers you. Maybe he assumes that you're busy and can't talk unless you're the one calling him.
You've dated for 2 and a half years... I think you should be able to call him without any hesitation by now.
...why can't you pick up the phone and call? If it bothered you that much, then have a talk with your boyfriend about it?
Be straight forward. In a relationship, to be needy is not healthy for either party. It could be very detrimental to yourself and your relationship to let thoughts of negativity over take the truth. Call and ask!!! Very simple. You assume the worst, the worst will happen. No doubt!!!!!!!
if i was to pretend that this was a new relationship (not dating yet), i would jsut get on with life unless they call within the next week or so.
however, in your case... 24 hours is not that long and 2.5 years is a long time. if he didn't call for a week or more, then maybe i'd be worried especially if it seems that he disappeared off the face of the earth and none of his friends, family, neighbors, or acquaintences have caught wind of him. however, 24 hours is one day. you can get through a day without calling him.Â
@doLc3@xanga - @atmaster@xanga - Amen. Just call him if you want to talk to him.
Just freaking call him. It's a two way street holy shit.
I don't think that idea works at all. I've used it three times... but the first time, he was avoiding me and not calling because he wanted a break up. The second time.... he just got really upset that I didn't call him back. The third time... he never called. I ended up calling and he didn't really notice that we didn't talk or see each other for 2 weeks.
Call him. Don't play mind games. It's dumb. Let him know how you feel. Don't assume that he'll call you back. He may be waiting for you to call him instead. So it can get pretty bad if you two aren't talking for however long it takes the other to budge, and finally call.
Get it over with. Swallow your pride and call. It's not a bad thing and it'll be healthier for your relationship.
There's my two cents. Hope that helps. Good luck!
I would call, or at least send an e-mail... Me and my bf skype so I never really have the "calling" issue.
mind games = screwed up relationships. be smart. discuss the matter.
you should call him. but i understand you, it's not easy when guys promise something and then don't do it, that sucks.
Here's the honest truth: Most guys HATE talking on the phone. A lot of us see it as a chore that we are obligated to clock in with you every once in awhile. Any minute you aren't calling us, we think we are off the hook. If you're waiting on him to call, you're just wasting your time, and not his.