Thursday, 20 August 2009

  • LOL @ Love

    I do, quite literally, laugh out loud at those who believe in love, especially in my day and age.

    It's the stuff of stories, the stuff of movies, the stuff of fairytales. It's only there for you to entertain the thought of what kind of a world you could possibly live in if it did exist. If there was really someone in the world that could "complete" you and make your life worth living, as if, even if there was such a person, that you would find that person in your lifetime, when you've got billions to search through.


    And when you're sixteen years old? Get real, girlfriend. One day, when something like pulling out a positive pregnancy test and going to school alone the next morning happens, it'll be a slap in the face that sends you whirling into a pool of realization that NO, he didn't love you.

    Maybe you'll be one of the "luckier" ones who make it all the way to their thirties and has popped out a few kids, been in a marriage for about twenty years, and then greets their honey at the door one day and is out of the blue ceremoniously punched in the gut with the word 'divorce'. Because, you know, that whole "one true love, one in a million" girl just ran into me at the bookstore, so, you know, let's not waste our time anymore. Your kids will have the honor of silently watching as you cry and fall apart through your mid-life crisis of realizing that NO, he didn't love you. Let's not bother going into the scenario of that piece of perfection at the bookstore who'll eventually get KO'd with the same realization.

    If you teenage girls weren't so caught up in those High School Musical romances and focused on making one for yourself; if you didn't just love to watch those sappy romances and try to make those same moves; if you didn't delude yourselves into believing that there's a boy within a few miles who's willing to really spend time on you and then dedicate their lives to you, then maybe you'd understand that the only place you're going to find "love" is within yourselves. Nobody is going to be there for you every day except you. Nobody is going to know everything about you except yourself. Nobody is going to accept every single thing about you except yourself.

    You may look at this and sympathetically remark on what an unfortunate soul I am to not believe in 'love', but I am merely a young girl who fell victim to the realization of such a harsh, yet very true, reality. Maybe this is all just by my definition of 'love'. If your expectations are lower, then maybe there is hope for you yet. Dream on.

    Do you believe in love? Or have you gotten the same dose of reality as I have?

Comments (162)

  • JadedJanissary@xanga

    I have seen lots of life, and I am more convinced everyday of the reality of love.

  • Dare2BDiferentt@xanga
  • Azruel@xanga

    Wow, you just sound bitter.  Of course love is real, it is an emotion.  Do you not believe anger is real? Happiness? Yes some times it does fall apart, but there is always some one else out there.  

  • Jamie_Nip@xanga

    Have you never seen an old couple holding hands? Or see the amazing work people will do to help strangers? Yea, there's a lot of hate and heart break in this world, but there's a lot of love too.
    And you'll find it one day, unless you sit around believing it CAN'T happen. Then you're going to give yourself a hard time.

  • TruthNeverTold@xanga

    @Azruel@xanga - I agree. And love changes just like every other emotion in life. Just because things end doesn't mean there wasn't love.

  • storiesandsinker@xanga

    Eh. I believe you and I share the same opinion on this subject. This makes me happy. I was seriously beginning to think that I was the only one who felt this way. I think a lot of people just manage to confuse their need for attachment and their fairy tales dream for love. Oh well.

    Though, I do love myself... haha.

  • momoschill

    @Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Lmao i like that comment.

    Girl just move on with your life you will find that wen ur with the right person (and trust me on this one cus ive been hit by reality too many a times) it will feel amazing. its like nothing u understand. and p.s love is nothing like the crap in movies or HSM 1, 2 or 3, love, no one will ever accept you completely not even the one you love. life is about compormise anyway and keeping your eyes open so you dont get hurt by "Love".

  • Fluxuater@xanga

    I believe in love. I see it in many couple's relationships.. I see it with parents and their children.

    It is there and it is worth looking for...

  • live_for_love@xanga

    @Azruel@xanga - This was EVERYTHING I was going to say. Thanks for saving me the time :]

    Do you not love your parents? Your pets? Your siblings and the rest of your family? What about your friends? That's love. Not in The Notebook form, but it's still love.

    Stop ranting and acting like the little girl who didn't get her lolli and maybe you'll realize that there's more love in the world than you think.

  • utoppia@xanga

    You're right about being 16 and thinking that relationship will last forever because the minute you go off to college, it's Girls Gone Wild. Same rule applies to guys. 


    But you shouldn't be turned off by love at such an early age. I keep forgetting how many people on xanga are teenagers blogging about boyfriends and first kisses and puppy love (not saying that's you). Still it's nice to know that love is out there and maybe you just haven't found it yet. If you hit your 30s and still haven't found love, then please save this post and re-post. Best of luck to you!
  • xpialadocious@xanga

    You and I *sort of* agree on this.  I think that if you reread your own post, it's not just ANY old "love" you're talking about.  You've got "permanence" in there, and "forever" and "absolute" (I'm basically putting words in your mouth, but I read them there, so be it). 


    So it sounds to me like you're giving a probably well-deserved bit of cynicism to the "we'll be together forever" myth that comes from things like romantic comedies.  I do that too, because there's really no such thing as a romantic comedy that has anything to do with reality.  *American Beauty* is more like reality.  BUT, that's not the POINT of romantic comedies.  They're made to be chewy little candies with happy endings, and they do their job.  I think you're right to point out that dreaming that one's romantic life will be like a Ryan/Hanks vehicle, is probably dumb. 


    But I think it's going way too far to just pitch "love" wholesale out the window, just because you think (rightly) that a certain type of media "love" is nonsense and/or exaggerated and/or not accurate to how reality works.  Cheers.

  • harmonyminusmelody@xanga

    love is the most real of emotions. everything entwines itself within the nature of love- obviously two people loved each other enough to have you and me as well, and you love them both as i do my parents.

    if you believe in God, there's that. the most perfectly loving being in existence of whom unconditionally loves every human soul no matter the crimes it has committed.

    two great ancient city-states went to war over love, and one of those cities was burned to the ground and its people spread amongst the various islands and lands of the mediterranean- one of those groups became the roman empire.

    does that make any sense to you? one of the greatest empires of all time was forged by the touch of love, no matter the hardship and tribulations they went through to get there.

    everyone will have the chance to experience love because as soon as you think it's a bunch of hooplah and you stop looking for the special person, they'll come right to you and you'll never know what life was like without them. i've met that person; i met her in high school, and here we are sophomores in college and still going at it strong. in fact, i'm going to ask her to marry me next year.

    you can't tell me that no one founds love, because i found it. so did your parents, so did their parents, and so did the people of ancient times. love is a beautiful thing. it brings two people together, it destroys cities, it creates empires. you will know someday the power of love, because we all feel it.

  • lastlyfirst@xanga

    @JadedJanissary@xanga - I agree with this whole heartedly.

  • silverlocket_88@xanga
  • i_r_keiko@xanga

    Woah, sounds like someone has had a bad relationship.  Out of curiosity, did you believe in love *before* the relationship ended?  It seems like you've just been burned or are expecting something out of the movies.  Love is a great thing, but it's not all puppies and rainbows.  Sometimes love is a challenge, but that's the point.

    Everything points to the existence of love, not away from it.  I disagree with most here saying it is an emotion.  I don't feel love like I feel angry; it's not fluid.  I either do or don't, it isn't any less at one point than another.  The definition is fluid, but the act isn't.

    Show me someone who exists without love and I'll show you someone who isn't alive.  I don't believe in people who don't believe in love.

  • BoxesOfRoxes@xanga

    @Azruel@xanga - This is pretty much exactly what I say in these situations.

  • Nicole_Eleni@xanga

    You may look at this and sympathetically remark on what an unfortunate soul I am to not believe in 'love'


    No one really seems to be sympathetic in their comments... probably because you're being extremely dramatic.

  • x__RainOnHerParade@xanga

    You sound bitter, hurt, and pessimistic. You're being melodramatic at best. And yes, I believe in love. Just because someone doesn't reciprocate the emotions you have for them doesn't mean you can't be in love. You have no right to tell other people that their abstract emotions aren't real.....there's a reason emotions are abstract, you can't prove them, and as such you have every right to be a bitter bitch about love but in no way shape or form can you say it doesn't exist. as you are not every single person in the world I guarantee you do not know what every single person in the world feels.

  • Imnotcrazyjustinsane@xanga

    You, my lovely, are having a existential crisis.

    It's okay. You'll probably get over it.

  • atmaster@xanga
  • spidergrass@xanga

    I dated a guy from when I was 14-17and we were in love. We're not together anymore because we grew apart, but we had love for each other during the time we were dating.

  • GaMeGurLsH@xanga

    I believe in love. But I'm also skeptical that hs kids could find love and fall in love for the rest of their lives. But there have been cases like that.

  • i_r_keiko@xanga
  • xSayakax@xanga

    You look at love with such negativity.  Perhaps you did love someone, but that person broke your trust and stomp on your heart.  Many people go through depression and heartache, but there are plenty of great people out there.  Sure, there is no such thing as a "romantic comedy or fairy tale" in real life because your love just "doesn't magically appear."  However, love is real.  Love is a strong emotional attraction you have for another person.  It's true that "you love yourself" because you must accept and love everything about yourself before another person can love you.  Also, I don't think anyone is going to absolutely accept everything about another person, but love requires compromises.  Putting forth the effort to try and change (if it's a bad habit or hurtful toward your partner) or the effort to bond with each other is what counts in a relationship.  If there are problems within your relationship, then talk to your partner and solve it together.  Being together with or living with another person requires a great deal of acceptance, compromises and understanding.  No one, not even your partner, can be there for you every second of every day.  You must learn to be mature and be able to deal with situations yourself.  A "true love" isn't a pet you can call on and have there with you whenever you want.  In a relationship, you must know how to communicate, how to bond, how to compromise, how to understand and accept, how to respect each other, how to cherish, how to love, how to laugh and joke, how to deal with each other, and etc.  Love is not as simple as what those romance movies portray.  You should not reject the existence of love because of one "messed up relationship."  If you let a person you once loved, but now you hate ruin your belief in love, then I will LOL @ you.  To let a heartache/ a jerk destroy your future (filled with love) is the most pitiful thing of all.  Maybe this post was a spur-of-the-moment-to-vent-out-anger/hate post and eventually, you'll come to realize that love does exist.  I can only wish that you'd change your view of love and life because being negative will get you no where.  I hope there is a guy out there that will shine light on your view of love

  • LonerB@xanga

    It doesn't matter what you believe or don't believe. Love is one of those things that will hit you over the head with a bag af bricks when you least expect it, leave you in a pile of dust, and then it'll laugh in your face. Sad but true.

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