Wednesday, 19 August 2009
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I Don't Care that He's Still a Virgin!
Recently I've gotten together with this guy who I met last October, during my first year of college. We were soon good friends, though we were both in relationships when we met. When we both ended up being single, sparks totally flew.
After it became "official" we confessed that we've had feelings for each other pretty much since the day we met. It's been a couple weeks now and I'm still ridiculously happy.
Here's the relationship deal: we've both been in physical relationships before each other. In those relationships, it both took us awhile to get to a certain stage with our exes and in comparison, we've started moving pretty fast as far as intimacy goes. Which is fine, as we're both comfortable with it, are mature adults who care a lot about each other. We've brought up the fact that yes, we'll probably go "all the way" soon.
The difference between us is I had sex with my ex, but he's still a virgin. However, that wasn't his decision, it was his ex's.
He doesn't mind that I slept with my ex, as we were together for over two years. Anyway, because my boyfriend and I liked each other for nine months plus and because we plan on this being a long-lasting relationship, I'm not really afraid of him getting clingy or needy afterward. He's really not the type. Not to mention I'm actually pretty honoured that I'm the one who'll be taking his virginity.
As far as the inexperience thing goes, well, most guys seem to be fast learners. ;)
Would you or have you been skittish about sleeping with someone who was still a virgin while you weren't? Are you someone who likes the idea of taking others' virginities and has done it often? Have you been worried about being inexperienced if you were a virgin with someone who wasn't?
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- From: Keeping__Karma@xanga
- Name: K-L
- Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
- About Me: Artist, geek, university student; I live to write. I just want to create beauty, and leave my mark on the world.
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Comments (58)
Okay, for the record, i say all of my preceeding comments given with the permission of anyone that may feel the need to laugh and heckle at me. All that said----
Okay, so actually i've been in your guy's position not too long ago. I'm now 26 and no longer a virgin, but my last girlfriend was the one to take it from me (i was probably 24 or so at the time.) And like you, she wasn't as inexperienced as i was. Let me tell you what, as much as i may play it off (as any other guy would) I'm a firm believer that i suck in bed. I was so effing nervous that i couldn't keep it up ... oh man.. i felt like such a mook. lol I had myself convinced that i was one of those guys, that at mid twenties, needed viagra... because really, what 24-25 year old guy with a SMOKING hot irish girl (complete with accent and everything) in their bed couldn't preform. Oh man.. i look back and laugh at myself. We had sex twice simply because the relationship was long distance and didn't last long enough for us to move so as to NOT make it long distance. But man, I coudn't believe that she kept talking to me after our first time. Because lets be honest, i'm no Brad Pitt here. I'm just... a james... some guy on xanga lol. But no, its was quite the interesting situation playing the virgin - non virgin scene. She was actually really cool about it all afterwards... But all i know is that, to this day i'm terrifid of having sex again... which, i haven't lol But hey, lack of practice = lack of skill right?.. meh.. all in all, i'm pretty okay with it all
far too much emphasis is placed on "virginity" or lack thereof. you and your boyfriend both want to be with each other, you're consenting adults, so enjoy it. :) it should make you more excited than skittish.
Are you someone who likes the idea of taking others' virginities and has done it often?
this question made me giggle, haha.
My boyfriend had had sex with two other women and I was a virgin when he took mine. I like that because he knew what he was doing and he was real gentle.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I definitely agree! I feel like it sounds like you are trying to conquer his manhood by having sex with him. lol. I dont think it matters what you are and what he is either way you both have to have respect for each other and talk about it, just like an experienced couple would.
lol I think its funny that you said, "we plan on this being a long lasting relationship" lol, I dont think you can plan on a long lasting relationship, things happen.
@TheDoubleDeuces@xanga - I applaud your honesty.
i take everyone's virginity, bitches!!!!!!!!!111!!!!11!!!!
@SighIntoAColorfulEye@xanga - hey man.. i have no shame in it.. and if all else fails, i can use this kind of thing if i ever decide to be a stand up comic. the full story of it all is actually hilarious!
@TheDoubleDeuces@xanga - I envy how honest and blunt you are. hahaha. most guys would lie online and "brag" about how "big" they are or how good they are. (; kudos to you. No lie
i think i would like the idea of .. me taking thier virginity , atleast i would know what im doing , and .. i would feel wow this girl/guy really likes me shes letting me take it .. =]
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - yeah, agreed. i feel like once you a hit a certain age, that whole thing becomes a non-issue.
@TheDoubleDeuces@xanga - I wasn't being facetious if that's how you took it. Most men, if they even mentioned it at all, would lie through their teeth. Well, at least the kids my age would and do.
Also, that would be great material for stand-up. The greatest humor stems from failures, follies and mishaps.
I stole my last boyfriend's virginity. Good times ;)
The guy I lost it to wasn't a virgin but he also didnt know what he was doing so it was so horrible I dont even count him (we only had sex that once). I just want to erase that memory from my mind forever haha
@TheDoubleDeuces@xanga - I took my ex-boyfriend's virginity too. The first time was great but after that he couldn't uhhh stay hard. *sigh*
My current boyfriend took my virginity and it was awesome! haha. I still hyperventilated like hell during because I had been so nervous before and during, I don't think I moved at all. >.< He slept with two girls before me, but they were both serious relationships so it's understandable and I don't mind it at all. Everyone has their past. I, too, think it'd be cool to take a guy's virginity. Show him how to properly drive the car into the garage ;P.
@SighIntoAColorfulEye@xanga - No no, I didn't take it as you being facetious at all. I agree, most men would have lied right through their teeth.. but i tend to stand on the fence of 'to hell with it all' ... i'd much rather make fun of myself now than take the chance of someone else making fun of me later on y'know? Its a backwards defense mechanism :) But no, i do appreciate your applauding tho. And hey, keep an eye out for me... coming to a dive near you!
@Duhiana@xanga - much thanks :)
with a virgin guy, you really have to be patient and try a couple of times until he is able to control that body part. (be prepared to meet mister limpy and minute-man.) if he masturbates a lot, he'll quickly learn the ropes. practice makes perfect. :)
:) i like the responses.
no more virgins for me, personally.
sounds like you really care for him though. don't think twice! :)
Bah... there are people who brag that they aren't virgins yet still perform sex like frigid virgins.
Virginity casts a massive shadow because of all the attention that's been laid on it for however long--decades, centuries? I won't say its "overrated" because that sounds like I'm anti-virginity or something, but far too much importance is (ahem) laid on it :)
I was freaked out that I'd suck in bed for a long time while still virgin; it sucked. It took a while post-virginity to give up that psychology, too.
I've never had a virgin and while there are a number of Xanga virgins I'd gladly do in a heartbeat, nothing's as fun as experience.
I don't get why anyone brags about having experience. The only people who have bragging rights are those who held their virginity longest, for honorable reasons. The only related insecurity I've ever felt, and still do, is that I have doubts about finding dates who're interested in guys who held it in for those reasons. I want to get to know, and date women, without the weight of worrying that when I finally go all the way with someone, neither of us will have a baseline to compare our first experience with. In addition, if a relationship ends, it means it was never tight enough to go all the way. If you truly are all about love, trust and respect, eliminate all possible doubts down to the least feasible before you take it all the way.
And as you get older, and wiser, you only get better with that one partner.
I've taken someones vcard once, the guy seemed to know what he was doing. It didn't end up working out, but I'm glad I left him with something more than he had when he met me. Ha!
@TheDoubleDeuces@xanga - still together with her?
i wouldn't mind being with a virgin. i think if you love the person enough performance won't be that big of a deal (unless you REALLY suck) and if you're both virgins you'll get to learn together anyway. that's just my view. plus you know there's almost no chance of std's or something