Tuesday, 18 August 2009
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Spending Time with "Palmela Anderson"
My ex boyfriend used to watch a lot of porn. I mean, not like, an EXCESSIVE amount, but he would watch porn probably 4-5 times a week. [I know that sounds like a lot, but hey, at least he only did it once, and at night] I used to think it was normal, because he was my first real boyfriend and he taught me a lot about guys, and relationships, and just life in general. So in our two and a half year relationship, I thought all guys watched porn pretty much every night, and all guys spent their alone time with "Palmela Anderson".But when my guy friends and I would jokingly talk about porn, or how much time they spend with "Palmela", they told me that they probably only did it, on average, about 3 times a week.
Now, at first, I was, like, "No way, you guys are lying. I'm not going to judge you, c'mon, tell me for real." But they were all dead serious. When asked why, they said that they either "got some" so they didn't need too much "alone time", or that they simply didn't have the time.
So, my question is, how often is normal...? Should I have been worried that my [at the time] boyfriend was spending so much time watching porn? Or...were those guy friends of mine just lying?
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- From: discoxapples
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Comments (53)
I've heard everything from every day to once a week, so I think it just varies. As long as you're satisfied and he's not complaining, there's nothing to worry about.
@Finity@xanga - Agreed.
I got my boyfriend to quit watching porn though, because it bothered me. I wouldn't want my man looking at any other woman other than me. (;
Some people just have bigger libidos than others do. For example my ex could have sex all day long. And we ended up having sex once or twice a day/night in our relationship. When I got sick and was just too ill to perform he would revert to porn. Did this upset me? No, because I knew what his appetite was like.
I have a friend who never masturbates, maybe once or twice a month. That's because he can get some real action and because he thinks it's kind of stupid.
So it all depends on the person. I think the guy that doesn't watch porn is the one you have to worry about.
i wouldnt worry everyone is differnt
I watch at least once a day, sometimes twice. When I had a girlfriend who I was in love with I didn't watch porn at all and it's not because we were having sex, because we weren't. I just didn't feel like watching porn. I even tried one night and got bored.
Basically, don't read into it. If they don't watch porn because of you it's a plus but if they watch porn despite of you it probably means nothing at all.
@cheyennexcrystal@xanga - wish I could do the same. My boyfriend watches it occasionally, but it still bothers me. Like, if I'm good enough, why does he nee to look at other girls?
How did you get him to stop?
It's not a big deal. It's just porn. He's not fantasizing about having a relationship with those women (or at least I would hope not). It's just getting off on it.Â
Nowadays, the stigma of viewing adult entertainment is gone. Within "porn," there are many, many varieties and genres, with many target audiences. It can be bewildering and overwhelming. But, if you take the time, there's something for everyone.
You can suggest, "Hey, can I sit down, and watch porn with you?" Ask what he looks for and likes. Then see for yourself what interests you. Getting over the hush-hush, embarrassment, and taboos of adult entertainment can be rewarding, and contribute to a deeper relationship between you and him.
i watch porn every day like 3 or 4 times and i bang chicks hardcore every fucking day. that normal?
@Death_OnTwoLegs@xanga - I just plain out told him it bothered me, and he promised me he would stop. He cares about me a ton, and he doesn't want to do anything that would bother me or make me feel uncomfortable. I offered to send him pictures though, to keep him satisfied, so there's an idea.
@rpghero27@xanga - Getting over the hush-hush, embarrassment, and taboos of adult entertainment can be rewarding, and contribute to a deeper relationship between you and him.
If you need to watch other people having sex to feel closer in your relationship, then your relationship has some serious issues.
@cheyennexcrystal@xanga - Thats actually what I did. I did a little mini-photo shoot of myself. I also let him take some pictures of me doing things to him. Since I gave those to him, I no longer find it on his computer.
@t_zie@xanga - can we hang out, not so you can, like, bang me hardout, or to watch porn a couple times for that matter, i reckon youd hold a pretty decent conversation, about just whatever.. lol
@Death_OnTwoLegs@xanga - Hey, at least it worked.
As long as it doesn't get in the way of your relationship or his life, don't worry about it.
Palmela Handerson.
I feel sorry for Pamela for serious. haha
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Nobody said anything about needing to watch other people have sex to feel closer, it's just one of many opportunities to bond. As wholesome as watching Wall-E together? No, but being able to openly discuss taboo topics and grow sexually as a couple isn't a bad thing.
not all guys have the same sex drive. as long as he's not neglecting you it should be alright. and you shouldnt feel jealous of the girls he's watching- you're cute and most of them are uggos anyway. haha.
if you ever have this problem again, you could try watching some with him, pick something out you both would like.
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - "If you need to watch other people having sex to feel closer in your relationship, then your relationship has some serious issues."
Judgy Mc Judger-Pants! i say you're just a prude.
if you both like porn, i say your relationship has some serious issues if you're NOT close enough to watch it together.
for a sec there, i thought you spelt pamela's name wrong, and then i googled "palmela" and it gave out "palmela handerson" as a suggestion, so i entered the search, and i just realized what you meant... good one...
what amount is considered addictive? how do addicts act? well, you tell me, that's right, in denial...
they will probably blame everyone and everything when they have a problem... lol... oh so he cheated on you and he blames you for not giving him enough, an addict in denial... lol...
well, why does it matter now since you're not with him anymore? but anyway, i wouldn't worry about it too much. at least he had been honest with you with how much porn he watched. many guys tend to lie to their girlfriends and tell them that they don't watch it secretly because they love them... and i think that's way worse.
it's normal for guys to watch porn; their sexual beings and need that kind of stuff in their life, they're not watching it because they want another woman, their just watching it because they very visual creatures .. not to mention when a guy watches porn he learns good technique he can use on his woman ;) and trust me .. its good <3 me and my boyfriend actually go rent porn together, he gets ones he likes and i get ones i like and we switch watching them, gives us good visuals and leads up to some amazing sex :) and yes if you're by yourself its more than normal, i mean if you're not getting any you should be able to at least feel like you're in the action! lol ..
@cheyennexcrystal@xanga - it's in human nature to look; whether he does it in front of you or when you're not around and dont know about it, a mans going to look, whether it be at a girl on video or a girl in the grocery store, its normal to look at attractive people (you cant say you dont glance at a good looking guy when you see him, where ever he may be .. on a movie or in real life).. he's with you though so that's all you should worry about ..
Just because one guy does something doesn't mean all guys are the same..
@the_kick_is_so_divine@xanga - Someone please explain to me why the prude label is thrown around every time someone objects to porn? I really do not understand this.
Relationships where two people need to "get closer" aren't going to be fixed with porn, because relationships solely focused on sex are not real relationships at all. And I think that people who argue that it's "normal" due to a high sex drive are fooling themselves. There's a little thing called self control. No one has to be a slave to their sexual desires. Relationships can do just fine without sex.
@Viserys@xanga - I was responding to someone who did say that porn can bring people closer together. It just doesn't make any sense to have to watch other people having sex to be able to "bond" with your SO. The general assumption behind posts like these is that 1) all relationships involve sex, and 2) men have such uncontrollable sex drives, and we women just need to be more understanding. I don't buy that at all.