Sunday, 16 August 2009
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I Asked A Guy Out and Failed
Well, let's start from the beginning. There was a guy in my class, who really seemed like he was into me - let's call him N. During class, N would try to talk to me a lot, bring himself closer to me, grab my shoulders, and he even placed his head on my shoulders! (I don't know, do you do that to your friends normally? Or am I just getting the wrong idea?)
He's pretty cute and (I thought) he had a great personality, so when we got out of school for summer, I decided it would be okay to have some summer fun and ask him out. First, I asked him to join me for a brief meeting, telling him that I wanted to go eat frozen yogurt together. It was a short date, and absolutely NOTHING happened. I at least wanted to hold hands! I really don't think he knew we were on a date (he's a year younger); but really, should I have spelled it out? Certainly guys aren't that dim?
A few weeks later, I messaged him again, saying that I wanted to go to the movies with him. He immediately says, " Yes! Who else is coming?"---What? I'm messaging you privately AND I'm asking you out on a movie date; what indicated to you that I asked a whole group of people to come along? Anyway, I told him that I wanted for it to be just the two of us. He agreed and we were to meet up on the weekend.
However, the night before, N told me that he wasn't able to make it and that I should call up someone else to go with me. I was a bit disappointed since I was really looking forward to this date. He also told me that we could go some other time.So I replied, "weeelll N, tell me when you're free. CAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU BEFORE SCHOOL BEGINS" (notice the big capitalized letters). He later answered, "WAIT WHAT. WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING" and seemed a bit anxious. I responded, "I do have a month, but your school starts at a different time than mine, which can cause conflicting schedules". Then he replies, "hmmm".
HUH?
Was it wrong of me to ask him in the first place? Right now, I'm just dumbfounded ' cause I don't know what this guy is thinking! Was I led on to nothing? Or was I just imagining something completely different that this guy wasn't even thinking of? This was the first time I actually asked a guy to go on a date with me, am I doing something wrong? Lastly, am I being annoying, asking this guy out?
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- From: pearl_iris@xanga
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Comments (133)
I don't think he gets the right idea .....
Gosh...I won't be of any help whatsoever since that sounds like the story of my love life. Maybe he isnt someone you'd want to go out with if he is that clueless?
ugh, it happens, people like to be confusing just for the sake of it. they think it makes the other person like them more.
there's a chance he's doing that, or just playing games with you to feel better about himself, thus he's still doing that...
But people purposely obscure the situation
I don't know about this. It sounds like he wants to be friends with you-- like good friends. Maybe he feels like your the older sister or something that's why he's acting like this... cause I had a guy friend whom I thought was an older brother.. until he confessed to me that he liked me.
And by the way, asking a guy out on a date is NOT WRONG. You want to see how things go with this guy, and if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't. Nothing you could do about it. Plus, if he rejected your date, atleast you know that he doesn't feel the same way... and you can rest the night knowing that your wasting your time with this guy and that there's TONS of other great guys out there.
maybe he's just playing dumb and he thinks it's cute.or...maybe he wants to be just friends with you....?
but i wouldnt date anyone younger than me in the first place.
he rejected u...u fail at life
Ack, sorry...I have zero success asking guys out....
I don't get it!
He's gay. Seriously. Or bi at least. Believe me. He likes you as a friend, not like a girlfriend. That's just my opinion but it was the first thing popped into my mind. Might be wrong.
@LonerB@xanga - That's kind of what I thought, too. Or just interested in being friends? Didn't sound romantic at ALL.
i think he's clueless. hahahaha.
hmm sorry about the fail sigh its all good life moves on. but honestly i also agree with everyone, he just wants to be friends but dont push it either bc if u keep messaging him and keeping in contact he'll think you like him all the more and then ignore you. guys can be "immature" but only bc he wouldnt know how to act if he thinks you like him and he is just going about his life makin friends.
ADVICE: save whats left of your friendship before he thinks you like him and he runs away. let him get in contact with you if he wants a date, other than that just have fun. ;)
He sounds a bit clueless. Perhaps you should spell it out. Say something to the effect of, "Would you like to go on a date to the movies with me?" Try it and see how that works!
I also think he is quite clueless... and um or gay... the whole head on your shoulder thing.. definitely a sign of being a bit... camp.
It just sounds like he's clueless.
Plus, these days, most people would count going out for ice cream to be basically the same as doing homework together. I go out with guys for ice cream alone, and I go out for dinner at restaurants with guys alone, too, but we always know it doesn't mean anything without needing to tell each other.
tell him you like him more than a friend. ask him how he feels about you. its that simple.Â
He's just not that into you
I think he just doesn't get it. maybe you should spell it out for him, just to make sure he gets it.
OMG open your mouth, communicate and tell him that u like him, Im sorry but i dont like people like you, they creep me out. you ask someone to hangout with u but in your head its a date but u dont want to tell them that its a date....thats so weird to me and i dont see how females can do that shit.
Also why are u beating urself up because he cancel this time, maybe he really couldnt make it, stop being selfish and thinking to deep into it. u sound desprate knock it off. yall not dating so he dont HAVE to go out with u...chill out!
maybe u should ask him if he is intrested and then go from there.
He's completely clueless. I know a guy like that.
Or gay. The guy I mentioned earlier is half of that.
Perhaps he's just clueless. I mean, you can't expect someone to be a mindreader and pick up any signal that you like them. Maybe you should spell it out for him and see where it goes from there. He may indeed only be interested in friendship right now... or he may very well be interested, but you won't know for sure unless you test the waters.
Gay?.. Bi?... WTF!!?!?
Please tell me, what in any of this story makes ANY sense in saying that this guy might preferr guys? That makes no sense whatsoever.
As for the awkward lack of a movie date? Well, i'm gonna be honest... i've gotten EXTREMELY confused via text messaging / instant messaging / any other type of messaging. Honestly, weather he's gay (which i dont get ANY indication of from your story) or clueless or just not interested... There's a good chance that everything could be solved by just... a phone call. You can tell a lot from a persons tone of voice. Drop the text and use the phone for its original purpose, and just... talk...
Forget every other factor of this, because you're just running on assumptions and doubts. For all you know, he could be really into you, and just misunderstood or whatever... I mean, lets take into consideration the idea of 'human mistake'.... i dunno... asking someone out on a date via texting of any sort (unless there is a relationship established already) is about as awesome as getting broken up on by texting of any sort.
Maybe you should've been upfront because it sounds like he's lost and confused and has NO IDEA what your intentions are.
He's just clueless. =/
I think you need to spell it out for him.
maybe he's just very affectionate and doesn't know it.
Eh, guys are stupid.
Plus they have cooties.
(: