Miss Walrus
I don't know what it is, but I have an ongoing battle with the L word (& not the TV show --the actual word!). I don't understand how so many people recklessly throw it around, abuse it & misuse it. To me, "love" is something sacred, something that literally burns to my core, something that basically fuels my desire to live. Okay, that might be a teensy bit dramatic--but it IS important to me.
But already, as I'm about a month-deep into a relationship, my SO is dropping the L-bomb. The first time was in a long, drawn-out, dramatic letter he wrote me when I was trying to end things with him before they really heated up. I let that one slide, since it was only in a letter & not spoken face-to-face. However, in his mind that letter must have broken the ice, because I'll find him slipping "L-O-V-E" into our conversations now. Sometimes it's casually (like after he's teased me or something) but other times, it's more formal (like when we're about to get off the phone for the night). I'm not creeped out since I've known the guy for 7 years. I just was wondering, how long do most people date before they say those magic words? I assume it's different for everyone, but I thought it'd be interesting to find out when you & your current (or ex) SO first said "I love you." How long had you been together when you said it? Let's find an average!
Comments (78)
2 months after we met.
2 years of being bestfriends, 8 months of dating, while being together laying on my bed, I told him I was inlove with him.
No SO yet. ;D
I guess it would be hard for me to say it to someone. Eghhh.
Hmm, maybe after about a month of dating with my current boyfriend.
Past boyfriends ranged from two weeks to 3 months to not at all.
My ex said it the same day he asked me out. He made the word "love" seem completely meaningless, going off on rants if I "didn't tell him I loved him" enough. No matter how much I said or expressed my love anyway, it wasn't enough. That's kinda why he's my ex, haha.
Current boyfriend, hasn't told me. And I don't think he plans to. I've said it...twice and both times he just ignored me so I don't bother anymore. Ehh.
I think it really depends on the situation. After all, you've known each other for 7 years and he might have already developed those feelings for you prior to even dating you.
When my boyfriend first dropped that bomb, we weren't even going out. We'd known each other for about a year but I had recently gotten out of a relationship and therefore wasn't intersted in anyone. My answer would just be "good for you!" After about a month of insisting, I finally broke down and gave him a chance. We'd been together ever since (six years). :)
about 6 months after we stared dating. now it really doesnt mean anything. =/
I've been with my current boyfriend for almost 4 months and we haven't said it to each other yet. He told me that saying "I love you" changes the dynamics of the relationship.... whatever that means.
when he was drunk and i was high, over a long distance phone call, as he was trying to console me, after a month of dating and 5 weeks of knowing eachother
we did agree that it was not to be considered the big "i love you" though, and said it in person 2 days later during a cuddle session <3
I said it after 3 months, he said it after 7. But he asked me to move in with him after about 4 or 5 months...so I dunno. It was a little weird, but it worked out in the end:)
4 or 5 weeks. When you know, you know. We got married 7 months later, and have been married for 5 years now. There have been other relationships where I never felt comfortable saying it, because clearly I didn't feel that way. When you know you love someone, I say let them know.
Hmmmm bout a year in, It went a little something like this for me
I write you love songs everyday,
treat you so good you'll be like whats this for,
its your birthday everyday with me
you could say you got your way with me
stay with me,
wait and see,
and i'll show you how to feel
just give me the chance to enhance your life
id love to treat you right
and love you cause. . . . . .your my sunshine :)
I learn to play it on the piano and sing it! =D
Love means something different to everyone. He may be dropping it at the end of every sentence, but he may be reserving that special one for a special date or a special occasion. You'll know when it's THE one "I love you". After that, he'll never never take it for granted again.
I knew after a month of dating that I was hopelessly in love with my boyfriend. I shouted it at him in my head for two months after that until I finally tried to tell him. Right before he stopped me because he wanted to be able to say it back and mean it just as much as I did. Sure enough, a month later, we were both on the same page about our love and what it meant to each of us.
Just let him know how you feel about it.
after dating for 1 year exactly, even though i started to feel it after 8 months, just never said anything.
after he read bout it in my diary -_-
he said he loved me.. morning after prom.. he was still drunk.. but i had to hear it sober and he said it then too soo that made me happy :)
It was a couple weeks into the relationship, but I'm the kind of person who treasures the word, so I actually knew that it was real. We weren't together for very long - seven months - but everyone around us could see that we were really in love.
As for you, you and him have been friends for a long time, so it could potentially be just a love that's been around as a friendly type until you started dating. Love doesn't always have to be romantic, you know?
A month and two weeks in, I believe. It's funny, because I thought he was going to break up with me. When he said he loved me, I nearly cried out of nervousness. Hahaha
I do not use the term Love lightly, I find that it cheapens the emotion for those that actually Do Love someone, when people throw it around like a bloody football. That being said I fell head over heels in Love with my boyfriend within a few weeks of meeting him. We were probably about a month into our relationship when he first told me he Loves me. It was amazing, we were at a Rise Against concert and it was in the instrumental bit in The Good Left Undone. I Used to associate that song with pain and loathing {past fling} now I can't listen to it without grinning from ear to ear.
With my first love it was about 3 months. With my current love I believe it was a month in a half - 2 months, somewhere around there.
after a month of dating...but three months of being crazy about each other. we met in june and talked online every single day for hours, finally met in person in july, and fought against our feelings until august, when he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. in september, we finally confessed how ridiculously in love we were, and still are. now we're 3 days away from our 3 year anniversary and have been engaged for 8 months. i love him, my family loves him, my friends love him...life is good. :]
We've been dating almost two months, and nothing from either party yet outright. We've known each for seven years, and we've dated twice before (where we dropped the L-bomb), but this time, taking it much slower. We have an incredibly dynamic relationship.
On the note of using the word, though, it just sounds like "commitment" to me.
After about 5 months of dating and a year of knowing each other.
For my husband, we had been dating for four months when we said it.
Ex #1: Never-ish in 9 months of dating. I said it a couple times after his dad died after we'd been dating just a month, saying it because I was trying to be supportive, but he never seemed too excited about returning it so that tapered off to nothing really quickly.
Ex#2: Eh, sort of around a week or two, in a three-week relationship, but more like
"I'm falling in love with you," which is actually a different thing. That whole relationship was such a weird, quick blip on the screen anyway.
The third time's the charm... Matt waited a long time (if four months of dating after being friends for four years is long) and we were both ready when he first said it. I could have said it a little sooner and so could he, but he wanted to be sure we were both very ready. (Ugh, and it took us eight months to kiss. NOW THAT WAS LONG. At least I get to kiss him every day now to make up for it.)
I told my ex that I loved him about 5 months into the relationship. He broke up with me shortly after, without returning it.
Current boyfriend freaked me out by saying it a week in. He dives right into things. He said it was ok if I didn't feel the same yet (I didn't). I returned the sentiment about 3 months later. Its nice that he can feel that way but not pressure you into it. Hold onto it until you're really sure you feel that way!