Sunday, 16 August 2009

  • I Don't Date Guys of My Own Race

    It seems that the more I fight the relationship epidemic running wild in my age range, the more it pulls me back in. Since giving up on men, I find that my friends have been trying to set me up on dates with "perfect" guys.

    After two awkward dates, one guy actually said he thought I was a lesbian (wtf, why am I a lesbian on a date with you, clearly a hairy beast with a male appendage...sigh, maybe I will be a lesbian), a friend finally sat me down and asked me what I really want, and more interestingly, why don’t I date guys my own race.

    I suppose it’s true. It’s not like I did it purposely. Its not like I say, I never want to be with a guy with that skin color, I have just never been attracted to them.

    My friend seems to think that I’m scarred from a past experience. I’m really not, I never had a bad breakup or had one beat me up on the playground. I can’t explain it. I’m just not that into black guys.

    I think of myself as a diverse person.  Open to everyone and everything, but for some strange reason if I was presented with two males one white and one black, I feel like I’d choose to get to know the white guy more. (Now if the white guy had some kind of a drug problem, I guess, the black guy automatically wins…unless of course a Latin guy shows up, and he has an Asian friend *wink*) Doesn’t seem like I understand this any better.

    With all the trouble already associated with same race couples, it bothers me to think that I want to add to that by only dating out of my race. Skin color doesn’t matter to me as much as a guy who is intelligent, funny, and charming, but if the first thing that attracts you to a person is their appearance, how do you get over your personal dating rituals long enough to find a personality match?

    Should I feel bad about not wanting to date within my race? Does anyone else have this same issue?


Related Posts

Comments (155)

  • GiantUnicorn@xanga

    I don't like white guys much and I'm supposedly white. I like mixed breeds. I've always felt more comfortable with other races. Probably because I grew up in a place where White's were the minority, but still, there are very few white guys that I could see myself dating.

    Currently seeing: Half white / Half Chinese. 8]
  • laurasaywha@xanga

    (Now if the white guy had some kind of a drug problem, I guess, the black guy automatically wins…unless of course a Latin guy shows up, and he has an Asian friend *wink*) Doesn’t seem like I understand this any better.


    Ha, I loved that. :)


    NO, dont feel bad. do what you want girl !!
  • journalofsparkles@xanga

    I don't see it as an issue, but I won't date asians either. Just because I'm not any attracted to them, you know?

    Don't feel bad about not wanting to date within your race, it isn't that big of an issue. x
  • openmindedgirlk@xanga

    I so understand where your comming from. I'm attracted to blk guys somewhat, but I'm more likely to look at a guy of a different color. My mom even jokes with me and tells me that I won't marry a blk guy. Its more about the personality then the race.Ppl do sometimes make you feel like your not being true to ur race, but I feel that if it makes you happy then thats all that matters. At the end of the day ur the one that has to live with it.

  • Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga

    i'm dating a white guy, but i've hooked up with many races. its just simply not an issue to me. in philly, most of my friends were black - not because they were black, they were just cool as shit. idk. maybe it does come into play a little bit, but i just like to meet all kinds of people who are different from me in general.
  • discoxapples@xanga

    As long as you wouldn't just choose the white guy because he's white. I mean, if they both had a drug problem, would you still pick the white guy? It's just stupid, not really a real issue. No big deal, you can't help who you like.
  • Amayahuu@xanga

    I like dating people of other races too.  You can learn about different cultures that way :)
  • spidergrass@xanga

    So far I've dated a white guy, an asian, and a black guy, so I'm pretty open to anyone...but now that I think about it, I think if I was presented with a white and a black guy of equal attractive-ness, I would probably get to know the black guy better. I think it's intriguing to get to learn about other peoples differences (I'm not being racist when I say that, but there IS somewhat of a difference being raised in a white family and being raised in a black family, at least from my experience)
  • Lunalumi@xanga

    I don't see color... any race can be hot to me, for me it's more a whole package type of thing...

    But you shouldn't feel bad about it, it's just a personal preference.... nothing more ...
    I don't like overweight guys...

    Everyone has this one thing they really don't like that turns them of (color, body type, big ears, small lips, ...) , it's no big deal.
  • mynameisblueskye@xanga

    IF you don't do them, then it's whatever. It takes different strokes to move the world.
  • HeLLo_Bianca@xanga

    I don't think it's wrong as long as you don't straight up turn down a guy just because you both are the same race.  I'm mixed, white and mexican, and I've never gone out with either of those races for some reason.
  • liubecky@xanga

    I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.  I don't date guys my race not because I choose to but because it just happens like that.

    You can't help who you're attracted to right?
    (:
  • yourssusanlau@xanga

    same here


    im an asian, but i'm only interested in white guys....no reason :P
  • FireMapleSong@xanga

    Race is made up anyway. Did you know that humans have the smallest genetic diversity of all mammals on Earth? Yeah.

    Race is made up. If you like white guys more, it's not a race thing. You just like white skin more.
  • xx_ng_xx@xanga

    For me, I don't date guys out of my ethnicity, I'm Chinese and Japanese. Right now I'm with a boy who is also Chinese. I guess it's natural for my to be attracted to them, but I also like Caucasian boys too, and some other types.
    I think that diversity and interracial marriage/babies are perfectly fine. I think that it's really neat, actually.
  • soberheartss@xanga

    i'm actually the opposite.. :X ?
    it's more preference.. you cant really explain ?
  • Lilyofdavalley84@xanga

    @FireMapleSong@xanga - Firemap is right....but even though you say it's white skin she is attracted to it might be that now "race" has things attached to it/histories/associations attached to it and other made up constructs.  So she might like white guys for their certain personalities and culture and style.



    I am the same, I tend to be attracted more to white/hispanic bc of personalities and they tend to understand the things I'm into.  There's many people into all sorts of things. Everyone's mixing it up nowadays.
  • t_zie@xanga

    u suk n u no nth
  • MissPixieGlitter@xanga

    i see no problem if you don't date within your race. i think it's a sign of a problem if you won't date in your race. i hope that makes sense...
  • iKevinL@xanga

    @t_zie@xanga - It's just an opinionated post, don't have to be so mean about it o.o
  • HiArianne@xanga

    Oh man, this happened to me.  I'll admit I had my non-Asian phase.  But I get it-- it just so happens that the people who AREN'T your race are the more interesting people.

    I think though, that part of the reason is because I live in a heavily Asian-populated community.  I'm 17 and I'll be straight up-- this was not one of those rebellious phases, but it was more of a.. spread-my-wings phase.

    Don't feel bad--you like who you like.  Like everyone else said, as long as you choose not to date anyone BECAUSE of their race (which you don't, you're a personality person), then that's totally fine.
  • mikeylohsu@xanga

    Your loss. I go for anything that attracts me. 
    But best advice is: be as you are!

    Be cool, after all, it's your own life!
  • OngishLyOngLee@xanga

    i'll date whoever i find a connection with.  my parents want to me to date my own race, but i come from an indigenous group so the probability of finding the right guy within my own race is really low.  so i'm pretty open-minded about who i date.  i don't really have a preference on which race i'm more attracted to, as long as they're not butt ugly.
  • Heliriana@xanga

    I'm Asian and my current boyfriend is Polish/German. My previous boyfriends have been white as well. I have to admit that I do consciously choose white guys because I'm attracted to them and I find that we click more so than the Asian guys I know and hang with.

    I don't think it's a problem but obviously not everyone is fine with it. There was this one white guy who I was seeing who said that white girls do not like Asian girls because they are stealing all their men and it's the same with Asian guys who hate White guys.

    Maybe the white girls should go out with the Asian guys to get back at us :P
  • youaintjam@xanga

    As long as you don't flat out reject guys who ask you out based on this criteria, you're fine.  Preference is one thing, but when it turns into prejudice, then you have a problem.

  • Sign in to Comment

  • Give eProps (?)

About the Author

Tags

Who recommended?

Who gave the eProps?

2 eProps from: