Saturday, 15 August 2009
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Ten Dating Don'ts
I am swimming in the pool of dating without my orange swimmies, and I have come across some observations while clinging to the side of this pool of hell. There are many things you SHOULD do when trying to score that first date with someone, but there are also many you should NOT. Which leads me to the Top 10 Things You Should Not Do:
1. If you say you're going to call, then CALL WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL! This may seem like a no-brainer, but trust me, if she is waiting by the phone and you DON'T call, then you can pretty much kiss that second date goodbye!
2. Don't ask for any kind of body or body part pictures before going out with her. I have been asked for a picture of my FEET, and many full body pictures as a requirement to some wacked-out men before they even consider going out with me. What? "You want to see my feet before we go out?" I sent this guy a pic of my dog's feet with the subject line: "This is the best I could do." NEXT!
3. Don't talk about sex to me. This is NEVER APPROPRIATE! I don't care what your favorite position is, or whether you have a big _________. This is not something women think about, nor care about before going out with you. So, no matter how hot you think she is, DON'T TELL HER YOU HOPE TO SCORE A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH HER. [Editor's note: Women do think about sex, almost the same amount as men. They just happen to be more discreet! Although, I do agree, don't tell a woman that you only want to have a one-night stand with her. Major faux pas!]
4. Don't tell me you are on a ton of dating sites. I can understand one or two, but 5 or more? This screams out serial dater or serial one-night-stander-never-call-her-againer. If you met her on a dating site, say that is the only one you are on, or it will send out red flags that there must be something wrong with you if you cannot get ONE girlfriend out of all your many dating web sites.
5. Do not, under any circumstances talk about your last girlfriend. While you may think its cute that I look like her, I will NOT THINK THIS IS CUTE. Don't fill me in on your last relationship at ALL. I realize some women might ask such questions like, "So, when was your last girlfriend?" Do NOT mistake this for a portal into the life story of your old relationship. All she is trying to do is gauge if you are A) on the rebound and B) if you might still be hung up on an ex. If she asks how long it has been since your last girlfriend and you say "Oh, a week," look out, because chances are, you will never see or hear from her again.
6. No matter what your financial situation is, how close you are to her, we will NOT think its sweet that you still live with your Mom and you are in your 40s! This is a huge sign of committment-phobe to us! Why? Because if you won't even sign a year lease, what makes you think you will want to date US for a year? We are not looking to step in as the "new Mom" to do your laundry, make your dinner, etc. So unless you live in an apartment in the same building as Mom, you better start cruising the want-ads for an apartment or you will be alone for a very looong time, trust me.
7. Do not talk to me about "the last time you got tested for STDs." This will NOT make me start to undress at the table and get the check so I can get you in the back seat of my car! While I can respect a man for taking care of himself, I do not want to know when your last blood work was on our first date! [Editor's note: Definitely not a conversation-opener, but if you do plan on having sex, please, please ask when was the last time he/she was tested for STDs. Safe sex goes a long way.]
8. Don't become so giddy with excitement when you see me and realize you are attracted to me that you say something like, "Wow, can I see you again tomorrow? What about the day after that? Or the day after that?" This SCREAMS out stalker to us and is SUCH a turn-off. While I want a guy to be into me, I don't want him to be SO into me that he sets up a tent on my lawn for a glimpse of me as I walk by my front window, either!
9. If you go for the kiss goodnight, DON'T GIVE US THE TONGUE. I just met you, and a nice peck on the cheek is enough with a nice quick hug to follow. I do not want a guy ramming his tongue down my throat awkwardly while moaning right after I met him for the first time! This has really happened to me! Keep your hormones in check, and just give me a quick hug or a peck and WALK AWAY!
10. If you really like me, then it is OK to call the next day. Yes, that's right, don't play games with the "Oh shouldn't I wait like 3 days to call so I don't seem needy?" NO! A girl loves it if you call right away BUT do not seem overly needy when you call either. This will surely kill it. Just say you had a great time and hope you can get together again. And if she doesn't feel the same way, get off the phone with her. Never BEG!
Agree or disagree? Do you have your own rules?
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- From: beebeak@xanga
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Comments (50)
Agree !! These seem pretty reasonable.
This is why I'm single... I hate dating and the crap that comes along with it. I just want to hang out, get to know someone, without all these pretenses and expectations.
The guys I fell for were the ones who thought they never stood a chance and didn't even try. They were themselves at all times, and I got to know the "real" person. And that's why even though we didn't work out romantically, we are still really good friends.
1. Don't ever give a dead set time you'll call (example: "I'll call you at five"). Because if you can't call, then she'll be mad. "I'll call around five."
2. Don't ever ask for body part pictures. They'll give them to you if they want to. You could suggest it, but if they don't like the idea, leave it alone.
3. Wow, this is such news.
4. Why bother dating in person if you're on dating sites? Doing both takes away time from one or the other.
5. This isn't always true, some girls do want to know.
6. LOL
7. LMAO
8. Yeah, totally agree. You should never let someone know you like them and look forward to seeing them.
9. Wow, you won't get a date with that attitude.
10. Tell me something I don't know.
i don't have rules to dating like that, but my rules are just to respect me and yourself and be completely honest with me and i will do the same. it's not like relationships aren't complicated enough and then to follow ten rules to dating don'ts? life in general is complicated already, i don't need to complicate more things in my life.
Another rule: KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF ON THE FIRST DATE! Maybe I could see holding hands briefly, and that depends on the situation (how long you have known the person, chemistry, etc.).
I can't tell you how many times I have gotten pissy on a first date after trying to fend of a man's wandering hands all night. You can't even be nice about it, because they take it as a sign of you secretly wanting it. Ugh, you're a female... you get what I'm saying.
Agreeed!
Number Nine, OH GOD! Worst thing EVER.
i wouldn't mind someone wanting to see me the next day. enthusiasm (not obsession) is a good thing. :)
#1 is sooo important though; i hate people who don't follow through. but i would really disagree with not talking about sex. why not? just don't suggest the one night stand.
so true! Couldn't agree more!
x Aim
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - #4 I think you misunderstood. I meet them in person usually FROM a dating site meet first. I 90% date from dating sites so this is how I usually "meet" them first. A few emails, a phone call or 2 then a in person meet and greet.
@LoveYouToDeath16@xanga - YES! Keep your hands to yourself is a MUST! I hate when they have little respect for us like we are a walking playground!
@mewithoutu77@xanga - I am not saying they are as rigid as rules, just basic common sense things I wanted to put out there because I experienced them ALL.
@ChelseaSmilesMore@xanga - Yes, #9 is terrible. I had a guy LICK my cheek as a good night kiss once. TRUE STORY! ick!
Number 2 and 3 is a big no-no
Agree.
Lolol, I agree with the editor's for 3. ;D
these are kind of demanding, but i agree with them to some extent.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Lmao
i think it all depends on how long you've known the person and how much chemistry you have with them, then that might change the situation a bit. if you've just met someone, then of course you shouldn't talk about your exes and shove your tongue down their throat. these are pretty much common sense. still, good rules to follow.
I dont really have set rules like that but these seem appropriate for the most part. Of course there are always exceptions and such but I think thats self evident.
The editor's notes are the best parts.
amen!
These are all pretty good basic rules!
Pretty interesting ...
hahaha these are great.