So, I recently started dating this guy. Nothing serious, but we get along very well and we both like each other a lot. It's been about a month since we started dating and he tells me he's changed a lot since high school. He used to be a player and even won "Biggest Flirt" of our class. (What an honorable award) I believe him because of the things he says like "I want to take things slow because I really like you a lot and don't want to mess things up."
I'm, like, GREAT! Until last weekend happened...
He sent me a picture to my phone of him giving a kissy face & saying "I miss you". I just flash-looked at it & sent him a response - I was busy anyway. Later that night, I took a good look at the picture and I see it was sent to another number also. My heart sunk. My jaw dropped. I guess the high school player was still playing his game.
I confronted him about it and he insisted that he probably clicked on the wrong name when going to mine. That would be believable... if I hadn't gone through and looked at the other pictures he sent me and saw the same thing happened... about 5 more times...
That's when he finally gave up and said "I'm sorry. That's my ex and I swear we're only friends." Really? Friends?! I never sent junk like that to MY ex and we have a kid together! I told him he can have her since he still that stuck in the past to send things like that still.
Now he says he's over her and I have nothing to worry about. "He's all mine."
As much as I want to believe this, I can't help but think that the inner player is still in there and he truly isn't over his ex-girlfriend...
Have you ever dealt with something like this before? Have you ever been stuck on an ex? Would you trust a "reformed player"?
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Comments (70)
Once a cheater always a cheater.
I don't know if thats the exact case here but I definitely see the trend. :)
He shot himself in the foot by admitting he used to be a "player". I guess that was supposed to impress you :/ That pretty much sets him up for women not to trust anything he says. I mean are you even sure you're not unknowingly playing "the other woman?" I hate to instigate but... dude's track record doesn't allow much leeway. I've been "stuck on an ex" but only mentally(meaning i kept it to myself) and never sending them photos of myself and telling them I miss them...
I have guy friends who used to be sluts who are "reformed" now and as far as I know they're true to their words and aren't hoes anymore but in this case he's almost text-book "giving you the business".
wow... I bet dude wishes he took the time to send two separate messages now. I'm sure you know what to do next without anyone here having to tell you.
Would I trust a reformed player? Not if it was obvious he was still playing....
As for the first comment, once a cheater, is not always a cheater.
And wow, he seems like he's still playing the game, just a slighty different way.
A reformed cheater will not want to tell you they were a cheater because they have moved on. So technically yeah I guess I would date one if I didn't know he had been a player.
BTW, this guy is totally full of it...nobody but a player sends the same photo to multiple women.
I think you already know that you can't trust him, and without trust what is there?
@erahslover@xanga - "He shot himself in the foot by admitting he used to be a "player". I guess that was supposed to impress you :/"
Gotta say it'd impress me... not
@erahslover@xanga - all good points.
Run.
Seems like he has issues being with one person. That's not someone I would want to be with. I'd be pretty sad if that happened.
what does the title have to do with anything? Anyway, yeah, like everyone says, leave him
i hate guys like these... always playing girls and like.... their more confident than hte rest of hte pack... ass holes...
move on... i dubt he'll change, but hey, anything can happen.
I wouldn't mess with him. I just went through this with someone, and you know what? He cam clean and claimed to be all honest, here I find out he's also talking to my two friends. Yeahhh, but do what you want!
I don't think anyone can change themselves AND stay that way. Sure, it'll last for a while, but as soon as something unfortunate happens, they're back to their original self. I would leave him, even if he says he would change.
My ex used to tell me about his past, like say- he left one of his ex in train station (tricked her that he was going with her inside the train and once she was in he ran back to opposite direction)- that's how he wanted to break up. We laughed remembering his past until similar situation happened to me.
He might just be playing with you and his ex..
What did the title of this blog have to do with the actual blog...
@discoxapples@xanga - Lol. Good question!
sorry. i don't believe this guy for a second.
and i'm so confused by the title.
yea the title is a little misleading...um...be cautious i bet he's gonna end up disappointing you and screwing you over...why don't u screw him over first? lol
you don't wanna regret after, and wish you were smart enough to trust your gut.
just b careful with him ...
Yeah! Ugh. What a nerd. This guy is a wannabe real player. A real player doesn't get caught. A real player does it right in front of your eyes. If he had to tell you, then got himself caught, it's because he wants to be seen as a player. So things like this Xanga blog, unfortunately, reward his terrorist behavior towards women. This guy can only hurt you if you forget what a small dork he feels like inside. And he is one. He has to pull out his phone and show you "what he's got." This is dick size issues in reverse, I think--a man who doesn't feel real smart and that's his source of impotence/helplessness/powerlessness/lost in the void in the crowd feeling. If you want to keep him, laugh it off, baby talk him. This man will fall for the baby talk. Constant petting and attention to the child ego, and if you love him help him in the areas, the secret or woefully not so secret areas he draws attention to, that he isn't so savvy in-maybe school work. You'll know these when he laughs off whatever it is (body language= diagonal shoulder position with one knee bent. He keeps moving when the subject comes up.) Also, he always has the same thing to say about it. If you want to use him, than b careful. Of yourself, of the fact that despite that he's a jerk, he's still developing like everyone else. You don't want to wake up a cheater because you got so jaded from being cheated on your resentment turned into action. That's what happens when you don't forgive the a**hole who did it. If you want to get rid of him in a mean way this man is most harmed by embarrassment. Embarrass him in front of female peers as well as men, and most importantly, female relatives. It will shock a sense of control out of him. Maybe he will look at the women in his family encouraging him to be caught to be cool. A male relative teaches you not to get caught when he's the influence saying this is the right way to "be a man." Otherwise, just break it off neat and quick with some class and keep your dignity, babes. Good luck!
that's why you send your pictures one by one ;)
nah, i say don't stick with him. next thing you know he'll be sending texts like, "i love you" to multiple girls too and say the rest are family members!
@October_Lies@xanga - WOAHHHH people really do that? In real life?
i don't believe in such things like a reformed cheater.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga & @discoxapples@xanga - His ex is irresitable to him. That's pretty much how I felt when he said "Oh. Its my ex. I still kinda like her. blah blah blah..." Kind of like he was saying "She's too hot for me to give up & stick to just 1 girl at a time!"
get it? idk... seemed good at the moment.@BunnyHu@xanga - Very well written.
@erahslover@xanga - Yes. He really did shoot himself in the foot. Right when he said that I was thinking, "Well... I guess I can't trust him too much then..." Then this happens. OMG. He's got some major issues. Every good player should know not to send it to multiple ppl!
@xquizit_anga@xanga - ur so right. even I know to send pics 1 by 1 if I'm trying to be a player & I've never even thought about cheating & such... what a dumb boy...