Saturday, 15 August 2009
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Widowed and Dating?
So I was in the car, going to soccer practice when I asked my mom:"Hey mom, if dad ever died-"
- "Don't you talk like that! Stop talking gibberish"
"No but seriously, IF he did die, do you think you'd marry again?"
- "No."
"Are you sure? Dad said he would. "
- "Dad's just kidding."
"No but seriously. What would happen? I mean, you're a stay-at-home mom; would you start going back to school, become a prostitute, what?!"Then she ignored me after that. I didn't actually say the prostitute comment or I'd probably get my ass kicked. But you get the point.
So what do you guys think, what if your SO (particularly someone you're married to, or have some sort of common law thing going on) just...died? I know this sounds terrible, but I always wonder. I m ean, everyone is so afraid to just think about it, and we push it to the back of our thoughts, put it in a box and never open it up. But what if?
Have you guys thought of what might happen?
Do you think you'd try dating again, or was that person your soul mate (if you believe in that kinda stuff)?
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- From: sarahhafuth@xanga
- Name: Sarah
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Comments (29)
If I was able to get over them dying (which I doubt), then it's possible.
IDK, I have met the closest thing to my soulmate, it wasn't meant to be on his part so we are not together...I cant even manage interest in other men. Maybe the death of a loved one would be different.
I'm not sure... I mean, I don't think I believe in a "soul mate", but I think that if you truely loved that person, you probably wouldn't be able to move on. I feel terrible for saying that, because I know that some of my relatives remarried after their spouses died, but I don't think I could ever do that.
That being said from someone looking into a situation that rarely even crosses their mind, let alone happened to them.
Obviously a tough question. Usually men are more likely to remarry. I think if my husband died, whether or not I would remarry would depend on how long we'd been married/how old we were. I think the later, the less likely I would. But I don't know if I could either way.
idk, its hard to find someone I like who will even talk to me.
I don't know how I would be able to get over something like that. I'm going to college right now so I know I would be able to support myself. But date again? That would be so hard. But I would like to again. You can't be lonely forever. I think my SO would want that.
i think it depends how old i am
i mean; is that horrible? but it does ...
well, actually, if my bf died now i seriously dk what i would do. i maybe in decades from now might ponder love again but really.
idk. that's scary.
I'd date again, definitely. But it'd be much later on in life. If I died, I'd want my SO to date again.
It all depends on the circumstances, I think. My husband and I have two kids together. We've been married quite awhile for two people in our twenties (five years), so it would be very very rough to find someone else to love. But I think it's possible. Companionship is important to me, and it would be hard to be alone again. But I definitely wouldn't settle for just anyone.
i agree with the first comment...
My mom... She wants to find someone to be by her side 'til she dies. I'm not sure if she's still looking, but I'm totally against it. I can't hand my mom over to some guy so easily. x|
oh gosh...i tried asking this question like, three years ago on vacation, and my parents wouldn't have any of it. needless to say i never got an answer, and i never tried asking again.
I wouldn't rule it out completely, but if I decided to, it would be much later down the road.
I think it depends on the person and how they handled death; I know that if I died I would want my SO to be happy (again) so I would definitely encourage it. I think that I would, for sure. Yes, I love that person but you can love people in different ways and I think you could be happy again.
Of course my eyes have been opened in this because someone I met this summer is widowed with small children and he's dating again. Granted, I don't necessarily agree with the hows and whys of his dating style, but hey, it's not up to me to question. I'm just sayin' it happens.
My mom was widowed, and about three years later, she found and married a guy who is probably her soul mate. (It sucks to say that 'cause I loved my dad, but they rarely got along in the later years.)
I'd probably try to find someone eventually if I was widowed, too.
I get a lot of negativity for this but to me marrying is a HUGE step (I don't plan on taking it ever) but I take it pretty seriously so to me getting married is for life. Even after the person dies. I don't believe in soul mates but when you get married I feel liek you're saying I'll be with you forever even if I meet someone else
Otherwise it just doesn't make sence to me. What if you met the person in real life you remarried while you were still alive? Would you not be with that person? Does that mean you love the origonal spouce more? Is that fair to the person you remarry? idk i don't like it
Plus I'd be very upset if either of my parents ever remarry
My mom became widowed almost 10 years ago. She dates, though I doubt she'll ever get remarried. I feel so bad cause she was with my father for 20 years, but I know she has to be lonely.
I imagine loneliness would drive me to try and find someone else after awhile
I don't think I could ever get married more than once.. My mom's a widow and got remarried, and I just see so many problems with it..... I really don't think I could ever get over the love of my life. And I hate to say it, but I'd probably be selfish enough to say, "no, I don't want you to remarry" because that would hurt.. If I could somehow see down from where I go when I die, and I saw him with another person... No, I would be hurting way too much.
My mom's a widow and she dates.
i;d just find a friend to live with who is single or in the same situation, i wouldn;t remarry
I don't think I would ever fully get over him dying...
I think I'd try here and there, but I'm sure I'll end up staying single after his death.
i'd probably throw myself into one-night stands, before committing suicide if i didn't have children at the time.
definitely not healthy but i'm pretty sure that's what would happen if someone didn't stop me. and maybe if i was stopped in time, i'd be able to get over it enough to start dating normally again.
something like that.
well right now, I would say no. But seriously, after years being lonely, I think I would move on, its not easily to be lonely when you are old and sick.
Get busy living or get busy dying.
@youaintjam@xanga - nice reference to Shawshank Redemption lol, but yeah if my SO died... crap I don't think I'd ever get over the pain but dating sure, remarry? probably not.