Miss Rhino
My LDR with my boss has taken a strange turn down a long and winding road with pit stops at places such as "Hair Glitter and Fur Coats" and "Playmates and Carlton." (Yes Carlton from the Fresh Prince. He's still around.) And I'm not sure if it's time for us to break up or not.
I've been working with this modeling agency since May. My boss is out in California, but he is in constant contact. We've been best pals since the first day when he called me up and started asking me about my job at Hooters before realizing he had dialed the wrong girl. I told him I wrote for Datingish, and he told me he was the authority on all things dating and boys. Automatically I assumed, all right, a gay modeling agent in CA. Perhaps he can help me come up with some good posts. (Little did he know he would soon be the subject of one.)
My boss would call/text me all the time saying random things, not always work-related. Then he started firing the other girls, saying they were "disagreeable." Next thing I know, I am booked for every single event in August. The other girls started making comments saying I was the favorite. I didn't hate it.
Then came the Facebook friend request.
All this time he had been receiving pictures of me, but I had never seen a real photo of him. Why I didn't stop and do a Google search of this guy I have no idea. Anyway, he immediately begins Facebook-chatting me. As we are talking, I'm looking at his pictures. Sure enough, glitter in the hair and over-sized fur coats galore. He is hanging out with Playmates, Carlton and Brooke Hogan. Agent of the Year Award. The works. From the looks of it, this guy is extremely well-known in the business.
Then he says: "You're really cute. I'm having a party at my place at the end of August. I will definitely fly you out for it if you're interested. It's invitation only so don't go telling the other girls."
Well of course I'm interested in hanging out with Carlton. He represents my childhood, and a great part of my young adulthood to be honest. He taught me how to jump on it for god's sake.
"Why aren't we better acquainted?" he says. "Are you the angel I think you are?"
Things are getting creepy. Maybe I jumped to conclusions too fast. Maybe he's not the fabulous gay man I assumed he was. I'm not sure what to think. He insists I call him later that night even when I tell him that I'm going out with a friend. He wants a call after I leave the bar. Obviously there is no professional reason for this. So what's his deal?
My LDR with my boss has become complicated. I don't want to be "disagreeable" and not answer his calls and texts. I'm not trying to get fired, but I'm also not trying to have him fly me out to California and feed me to Playboy Bunnies.
This is like an office romance, an LDR and a dilemma all wrapped into one strange package. What do you do when things have gone a little too far?
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Comments (16)
lol i like that pic
Be honest and upfront with him. If/when things get weird, then work will suddenly become a liability. If he's a good guy, he'll understand and either the relationship or the job - probably not both - will work out. If not, he's not worth your time.
The way it seems unless you remain "agreeable" you will be losing your job. Just try to remain friendly I suppose...Best of luck!
I do not envy you the tightrope you're gonna have to walk on this one.
If I were you I would deflect the most obvious flirting and ignore the rest, acting like you honestly believe he is just kidding around. (And pray to whatever gods you claim that he really is.) Try to give off the vibe of friendly, humorous, but definitely not flirting back. (Hmmm, have you considered pretending to be a lesbian? Wait. With a guy like that I don't know if it would deter him...)
I'd also be friendly but firm about the whole wanting-you-to-be-constantly-in-touch thing. If he seems to have no legitimate business reason, just say you'll call if you have time... and then don't have time.
You can find out a lot about somebody's personal life by googling them and reading between the lines. Maybe he is gay.
But inviting you to a party because "you're cute" after showing you lots of favouritism, and telling you not to tell the other girls... there's some other vibes going on there. If you go, be prepared to turn down advances and possibly face the consequences.
The way he's stepping things up means that you may have to make that choice sooner or later anyway. Unless maybe you're interested in him...?
Good luck-- here's hoping it will all work out to your satisfaction!
oO0oo..you are fired!
Hopefully the picture of the guy in green furs is not him!
Creepy! It sounds like a difficult situation. You like the job, but you're not crazy like that about your boss. He seems to be the type that will make your job difficult or downright fire you if you don't go along with what he wants which is more than you're interested in giving. I'd say show him the ropes, as far as he's going to be going with you, and if he doesn't like it, it may be time to find another job. Unless the relationship is mutual and you two act professional on the job, the job may end up becoming a liability for you.
Um, if you be upfront about it and tell him that you don't like him that way, he'll fire you.
If you pretend that you think he's just joking, he might fire you.
If you just go along with what he's trying to get at, you'll be sorry.
So pretty much, I think you're screwed.
its a lose-lose situation. i had to end a modelling contract because of something like this too. i'd even pay to end the contract than put myself in any other danger. you're either going to lose your job + boss, or a part of you to him (whether it be time, favours, etc) so...you have to decide which its gonna be.
one more thing, it is NEVER okay for someone of authority to take advantage of their position over you, so he may not fire you, but he may be able to make you feel the heat if you don't comply with his requests. you're treading on dangerous territory.
save the calls texts and other conversations you've had with him. resign, and report it.
Just tell him that you aren't THAT interested, and you want to take things slowly.
And if he keeps pestering you... uh oh.
just be completely honest with him if you're not that interested. i've tried this inter-office romance or whatever you call it and i've realized that it's not worth it. though i didn't have a romance with my boss, just one of my co-worker, it was still awkward after it was over. i don't think it's necessarily a lose-lose situation, but things are going to change.
Well I would say it began when he wanted to fly you out for some shindig. I don't know that I would have done it. But perhaps its not you who read too much, perhaps it was him. He wants to make more of it than is necessary. Dating and professinalism don't work out to well too often. I work with a strict policy, I don't work with what I flirt with. Maybe y ou should adopt the same idea. It has saved me alot of drama at work.
that is.. rather creepy.Â
but it's a shame that he's your boss :( makes it difficult..i hate to say this...but it sounds like it may be too late. perhaps the other girls are "disagreeable" because they wouldn't sleep with him?
look out. this guy has "sketchy" written all over him!
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