Friday, 14 August 2009
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A Blog About Sexual Relations
It's not often that I discuss sexual relations on my blog. I am truly sorry if you are feeling a bit squirmish right now. Just think about baseball while you are reading this.
Yesterday, shortly after my girlfriend and I finished doing some "Pilates" together, I started giggling out of the blue. Obviously she wanted to know what was so funny (because she is friggin nosey as hell!), so I tried my best to explain what was going on in my head.
haha. Gets me every time!First I was wondering what she tells her friends when they ask about our sex life. (Well in our case it's when they used to ask about it. We've been together for a while so those questions have long since been addressed.) I don't know why I became curious about it all of a sudden. I guess maybe since it was a particularly productive "Pilates" session, part of me wanted to know if she goes and tells her girlfriends how many calories she burned. It's all about the ego folks. I am not ashamed to admit it.
What made me giggle the most though was thinking about how different the "first time with a new lover" conversation is for women than it is for men. Women want to know things about it. Was it good? Is there chemistry? How long? How big? In my girl's case she did not give very many details because she knew I was keeper. She just said "I handled my business" (or at least that's what she told me she said). They usually go into more detail when the sex is bad. When it's good the facial expressions and happy woman glow say it all.
With men it's a whole different ball game. This is the conversation for men:
"Yo did you hit that yet?"
"Damn straight I did!"
"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talkin' bout!"
That is it. No further elaboration needed.
However if men do elaborate, it is only to brag about their performance. Stuff like, "aww man I had her begging for mercy!" Women on the other hand will always talk about how the other party did. (Thanks to KW for that little tidbit.)
So this is the way the sex convo goes. I'll end with a question my girlfriend asked me.
In your opinion, how important is sex to a relationship?
If you had to put a percentage on it, what would it be?
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About the Author
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- From: vanedave@xanga
- Name: David
- Location: New York, United States
- About Me: I write for me. Yeah thats a bunch of bull. I really enjoy making people laugh. Some might even say that I am pretty good at it.
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Comments (48)
honestly, i don't think sex HAS to be important until you are married. if you love that person, you should be able to wait for them. but i don't condemn people who decide to have sex before marriage.
IMHO, in a stable relationship, sex should be of very little importance, maybe 10-15% of it. those who have sex will obviously develop a need for it, but that should be it. it shouldn't make or break a relationship and no one should measure their relationship based on how good the sex is.
IMO sex is a large part of an intimate relationship.
70% sex
47.8392%
I don't think it *has* to be a part of any intimate relationship until marriage. At that point I would say starting out (for me this is how it was) maybe 40-60%, and later, if it's good sex, it starts to seem less important, like maybe 15 or 20% maybe a very important 10%, but you still need to have it enough for both people to be happy campers or else I hear the lack of it becomes like 90% of the relationship, and not in a good way. Haven't experienced that end yet and I hope I never do. I love sex!
I think the importance of sex varies depending on what stage your relationship is in. For my husband and I, since we have a two month old....sex is still high on the priority list but it's much more important to us to spend time with each other, especially while our son is sleeping. Just to talk and visit. Sex was much more important before our son was born, and probably at it's highest when he got home from his deployment.
So I think it's hard to put a percentage on it....cause I would imagine for most couples it varies depending on what's going on in the relationship.
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - Yep....I agree. If a person's relationship with another is entirely dependent on sex (not intimacy, just sex), then it's being set up for failure. There will be times when sex isn't possible.
i think that if the sex is good then it is about 25% of the relationship, if sex is bad or if one party isnt happy with the sex then it takes up about 95% of the relationship, I had to end a relationship because the guy sucked in bed and I kept thinking about cheating on him
I recently read that (in a marriage)... if the sex is good, it's about 10% of the importance in the relationship. If it's bad, it's about 90%... pretty true.
It doesn't HAVE to be of high importance, but if the sex was bad, I'd see it more of a reflection of our chemistry together, rather than of his "pilates" abilities...
50 percent
What PERCENTAGE is it? Of what? The total relationship intimacy? The time spent? This question is COMPLETELY INSANE. It's like asking me what percent of my daily photons are spent on the rhinoceros.
Made me think of King of the Hill.
"Yup."
"Yup.
"Yup."
well when you ask 'percentage sex' do you mean 'percentage sexual-ish interactions' (therefore including those who don't have actual sex)? because for me, it's 0% actual sex. haha
100%
also stroke your e-penis more holy shit
I'll skirt the argument about sex before marriage and all that jazz and just say that being physically attracted to your partner is pretty important in a relationship. You can't fake that stuff. You just end up with a whole lot of hurt feelings.
I'm not saying your partner has to be Megan Fox or Gerard Butler, but they have to be attractive to you and attracted to you. There has to be a whole lot of attraction going on for anything to be successful in my mind. Otherwise, you're just kinda forcing it to work.
i think sex is important to a certain extent.. lol haha a guy better not want too much sex from me that is all i got to say
I'd only have sex after marriage... so maybe 45%-50%?
Was just reading comments...
Attraction is obviously necessary for relationships to work
but that doesn't mean sex is to be a major part of it
hahahahahaaaa
It has a significant role. It's a way to express your intimate feelings for each other. But it also depends on when it happens.
To me, the chemistry between ppl are there, its when you tap into it to make "it" good.
Sadly, I had ended relationships because the sex was bad. He was trying so hard to make me happy, that he never listened to what I liked or disliked. He assumed, and it went oh so wrong so many times lol. It was like that outside the bedroom too.....
but anyway, yeah, its important, but only when you make it important. it's hard putting a number to it, it mewans more to some than others.
PeAce Love Soul
in my past and current relationships, sex plays about 51% role in it. you can say that sex is important to me.
lolz no clue
i enjoy sex with my bf.
Sex is important, but it shouldn't be the most important thing.
Plus, it depends on the relationship with the person. So I can't give it a percent.
when the sex is good its about 15-20% of the relationship
when the sex is bad.. really bad it becomes an issue thats about 80-85% of the relationship.
Sex isn't that important. But when it's bad, it can make things really awkward.