Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. In my depressive state, I changed my Facebook status to the Blue October lyrics "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends including my mom "Liked" this. FML
Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
i love the first one. are you friends with your parents on facebook?
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Comments (28)
yes, but i don't use much facebook
I'm friends with my mom on Facebook. :) My daddy doesn't have one. :\
Sometimes I wonder if these are made up.
the fourth is the only funny one there.
My mom has a Facebook...I don't get on that much but she Facebooks more than me by an infinate proportion...she also has a Myspace. I don't even have a freakin' Myspace. I wish she would quit that stuff. She's one of those annoying Facebookers that update every mundane moment of thier life, uses all the dumb applications, and invites me to use everything. Uhg.
I tried submitting soemthing to FMyLife.com once.
This was like a month ago, hah.
Today, I grabbed a bag of crackers and started eating them. When I looked inside there were tiny ants crawling all over. FML.
ha i lovee lovee that site lol
the third one doesnt end with FML, it's probably an impostor and not true like the rest of the site
I mean, i'm a big fan of sandwiches too.. but damn!
Ha, the last one was totally asking for it.
ahah good thing my parents dont know how to use the computer CHYEA ^_^, let alone facebook : )
I unfriended my sister on Facebook. It had to be done.
Lol #1 #2.
My older brother added me on FB, I declined. It would just be plain weird...
And I'd be really surprised if my parents had a facebook.
lol i've read all of these.
yep, i'm friends with both my mom and dad.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - lol, nice!!!
my sister's on my facebook, and i have never heard of this website before, but i'm gonna start reading. the first one on this blog sucked, feel bad for the person.
Yeah, friends with my mom. She and I hardly ever get on, though. Like, maybe two or three times a month.
@Murphy_Rants@xanga -
I have friends who are obsessed with using every app on Facebook. It's very annoying.
My parents don't use it, but other members of my family do. And I'm friends with them.
I'm thankful my parents don't have facebook.
Sadly, my MIL does, so I have to watch everything I want to say, haha. Same with MySpace, boo.
Fourth one is funny, but that's it "/
Haha... some of those were hilarious. You have to wonder how many of them are true though.
LOL ^_^
lmao i think the sandwich one was the funniest. but all of them are pretty good.
and thank goodness my mom is computer-illiterate. my aunt and cousins are on my fb but most of them are on limited profile lol
xD That's great.
rofl to #1
That third one is pretty bad!