Over the weekend I had some friends over to play Kings and just have some fun. It was friends Carl and Jeff, and my ex Vince. We have been broken up for over a year now but we became friends throughout this summer. He has a new girlfriend he's been with for about 10 months also. There was one point they broke up for a few days and we hooked up. She still has no idea. But when me and Vince still hang out in groups, he still gives me that "look" and makes little comments about me; I'm so sweet, I'm a great person, I'm sexy, etc. So that night he was doing the same thing.
Around 3 a.m. my friends started leaving to go home. Vince stayed behind for a few minutes with me on my stoop. We were just talking about stuff. At one point he says to me "When I'm single again, you'll be the first person I call" (I'm not exactly sure what to think of that but okay). And that he's never even thought about cheating until me. But we both agreed it wasn't a good idea. He leaves and starts text messaging me shortly after. Going on and on about how hot I am and how he wants to have sex with me. Then he suddenly asks me "Do you masturbate?" which caught me by surprise.
So then he starts with the dirty talk, won't go into detail, and I kind of figured out what exactly he was doing. I could tell he was treating himself to some "self-love". And since we had been playing a drinking game I was a little drunk and a little horny so I encouraged him in a way. This lasted for about an hour then we both went to bed.
The next morning he texted me saying how he was still horny and still wants to have sex. Now I've been wondering for the past few days, did he technically cheat on his girlfriend with me? Am I now "the other woman"? I felt a little bit guilty about it but I'm not sure if I would qualify it as cheating. Nothing physical happened, so is it the same thing? What do you think?
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Comments (123)
soo...why is he still with his gf? idk if its ur fault but it all seems rather sketchy.
T__T He's dumb. And I wouldn't do it. The concept of "sexting" annoys me, along with cyber and phone sex.
I wouldn't want my boyfriend doing that with another girl, so I don't think it's exactly right.. but he could do worse? If you think about cheating on your gf/bf, you're not committed, so just break up with them!
Why aren't you two dating?
ive been that girl. makes you feel kinda awful. but the thing was that i still had feelings for the ex & he had residual feelings for me. he ended up breaking it off with the other girl.
i must say, idk why hes still stringing the other girl along if he already plans on calling you while single.
If I were his girlfriend, I would definitely consider it cheating. There are just some lines that should not be crossed.
um yeah...
who would want their bf/gf doing it with someone else???i think cheating constitutes more than just physically doing the deed. so i would lean towards yes; this is cheating.
Your hesitation says it all. Whether you consider this "officially" cheating, you can't deny it's on the fast track to something that's tangible. Stop him in his tracks if you don't want to become the other woman.
yes it is. but if it just for fun then no. Cause I chat with guys and talk dumb dirty which is i talk dirty but only for fun and don't feel it nor play with myself when i chat with them. More of killing time and for joking around.
Are you on crack? Yes of course it's cheating. Just the same as all the online sex.
Like seriously he's sexually thinking about you and wants to just plain fuck you. You are his ex now how about you tell his girlfriend and see if she thinks its cheating or not?? If not physically it was completely emotional cheating. I would feel horrible if I were you, if you had a boyfriend and he did that to you how would you feel? You know it's wrong.
Cheating or not..Its still wrong.
this sounds like a super beezy!
of course its cheatingOf course it's cheating. It is a sexual act with someone other than your SO. I would be PISSED if my SO did this to me, not to mention very hurt and devastated. He needs to break up with his girlfriend if he still wants to be with you.
I can't understand why people don't understand the concept of monogamy.
it's attempted cheating lol. his gf dumping him would be justified.
"did he technically cheat on his girlfriend with me? Am I now "the other woman"? I felt a little bit guilty about it but I'm not sure if I would qualify it as cheating. Nothing physical happened, so is it the same thing?"
Yes, Yes, and YES...be smart, this guy is slime...cease all further contact and change your number if necessary, 9/10 the guy is just using you and besides, if you two were to reconcile, how do you know you won't eventually become "the other girl" ??
That's right dear, you don't. Not for sure anyway...listen to what he's saying. Is he offering you a relationship? Is he being in anyway respectful to your feelings? No! He is just thinking with his d*ck! Please be smarter than most girls, see this for what it is and beware!
Good luck.
to me sexting is cheating. this guy was doing that with me for awhile and i found out he had a gf and i confronted him and told him i wouldn't talk like that with him if he wasn't single. i don't put up with that.
think about it this way. would you ever want a boyfriend of yours doing that? no. so it's cheating.
Cheating.
just put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. would you feel uncomfortable with it? of course. any girl would. don't let him have his cake and eat it too. if he is going to say those things to you, then he should be honest with his girlfriend.
it is cheating if he has to go behind her back.
Cheating does not just mean physical. There can be emotional cheating. Bottom line, he is cheating on his gf with you, and you are the other girl.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Exactly.
He thought about you and acted on it. It's Cheating. If it continues you need to know your stopping point. If you wait too long it may come back to bite you in the ass and you'll end up getting hurt instead.
Yes he's emotionally cheating. I consider it cheating if the other person does things they wouldn't do if their partner wasn't there or hides things from their partner.
i would consider that cheating if my boyfriend did it to me. he sounds like a loser anyway.