Miss GiraffeThere's one thing my boyfriend does that makes me wonder if maybe today's chivalry has changed completely. When we're about to walk into some place and he reaches the door first, he opens it and then walks right in while sort of holding it open while I walk in. I mentioned how odd it is for him to open the door like that considering other men just hold open the door and allow for the girl to walk in first.
His response? "I do it because I want to reach the second door before you and hold it open."
When I was involved with this one guy, he used to make sure that on the sidewalk, he would be the one who was walking next to the cars. As in, it would be: avenue/street, him, and me. He said it was the polite thing to do, and "that was how he was raised." (Polite, maybe, but he was still a douchebag in the end, but that's a different post altogether.)
But the thing is, I find that older men are much more courteous. They always hold the door open for women, and also when getting onto the elevator they always let the women walk in or out first. It's been very rare for me to encounter anyone my age doing those same things. And before anyone says that I'm anti-feminist, I'm not saying that men
should always do this, but that it was merely an observation. I actually don't have a problem with men being polite.
Do you think chivalry is dead?
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Older guys are definitely more courteous...I dated an older guy in his late 30's and he actually got out of his car to open the passenger door for me! That was definitely a first for me...
Not completely dead, because I know I'm one guys out there still upholding....but severely lacking in general, as are all morels these days.
The 2nd door thing, I always get caught up on that too. I'll never let a girl open a door, but the two door situation always puts me in a bit of a flurry. Trying to hold the first and get to the 2nd before she does.
I just hope the act is appreciated
No.
B/c some men are chivalrous while others are not. Everyone will not be polite.
It's nice when a man is chivalrous, but if he's not, too bad.
I'd say it's rare to find some 20-somethings that do this. But, there are some who were raised by women who do it normally. I appreciate the women that raised them that way.
I'm so used to getting doors being slammed in my face because they refuse to wait two seconds until I reach the door. It's so refreshing when I get a guy that walks a little faster than me to open the door and let me in. They get a genuine smile and bonus points for that :)
i get agitated when women expect men to hold doors for them. merely asking this question betrays that one has an expectation. why? chivalry is way overrated in terms of being a way men should act towards women. everyone should be courteous, and i wouldn't be any more "surprised" that a man didn't hold a door for me than i would be if a woman didn't. i hold doors for everyone.
why should only guys have this extra responsibility? in the name of "chivalry?" please.
if you are Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie..any men would treat you politely to the maximum. any men would be on their best behaviors.
my point is, chivalry is never dead when you are perceived as the dreamgirl.
chivalry's dying because men are getting a twisted impression of what women want them to do.
i for one would prefer a chivalrous douchebag to a sweetie who's scared of potential rants.
I don't believe in chilvarly, I believe in being polite. If I don't open the door for my man, then I don't expect him to. I just don't except him to slam it in my face is he walks in first.
I really hope not. Chivalry is, to me, a code of politeness.
nope! It's not dead! I so appreciate the few that keep it alive...
I actually have my own personal style of chivalry but it doesn't help when women get all "I'm independent" on you and then expect you to do stuff for them. D:
I'm still chivalrous to an extent though.
I don't think it's dead. Just hard to find.
I am a 22 year old man. Is chivalry dead? Not dead, but perhaps dying. Do I always hold the door open for someone? Not always. There are times when I am just so caught in what I am doing or where I am going that I do not pay attention to the people around me. When I do pay attention though, it is not always a simple straight forward do I hold the door open for the woman behind me. Some women find it offensive, others assume it is their due. Sure if I happen to notice a woman walking behind me I may take the time to hold the door open for her. But by the same token when leaving a restaurant, I will hold the door open for the people coming in (men and women alike).
I think it is more a matter of being courteous than of being chivalrous. I mean in 5th grade we were taught to hold the door open for the next person behind us until they hold it (so that it doesn't close on them). Is this chivalrous? No. Is it courteous? Yes. I may not always be chivalrous, but I always endeavor to be courteous.
I have a friend who totally makes me realize that chivalry is not completely dead. When I first met him, he opened my car door and waited until I got in to shut it for me. As for the two door thing, he always opens the first one and then whenever I get to the second one and open it myself, I'm holding it for him because I'm not going to let it slam in his face he takes it and lets me go through first. Apparently, he has it down...lol
Not dead, but diseased and dying.
how else are you going to look at a womans butt with her approval
Older men are more chivalrous, yes, but younger men are getting mixed signals about what women want them to do. There are women that say they want total equality and they can take care of themselves and then there are women who bitch that chivalry is dead. I think we're still in an age where the majority of asking out and proposing, etc, is done by the male so then they have this pressure to figure out what women want when we don't all want the same things. I'm not making excuses for the guys that let the doors close in women's faces, that's just rude. Even as a woman, I hold the door open for people constantly just out of politeness. But some men actually do care and are just confused.
not dead just almost to extinction :P
I was raised to do things like that for others, so it's not dead with me at least.
not dead , my boyfriend is 24 and always holds the door for me, so much that when im not with him i feel kind of weird opening the doors cause im so used to it lol
welcome to the world?
Not trying to sound like a douche, although I somehow always do, but you cant expect chivalry to survive when the media generally dehumanizes women as tools.
And women nowadays have a much lower standard for men in my opinion.
Chivalry is dying because of all those no
bra, no deodorant, flag burning hippies saying we can open doors for
ourselves. I'm not saying we can't, but I like my guy acting like a
gentlemen when I'm acting like a lady.
I love chivalrous men!
I don't think chivalry is dead. Some people are just more inherently politer than others and comply with the silly standard of opening a door. Chivalry seems almost sexist to me, actually. It should be more of a courteous, give and take kind of deal.
I dont think chivalry will die, because there are still men who like to do these things for their women. I always hold the door open for people in general, and most of them dont even appreciate it. I used to do it constantly for my ex, and perhaps it just became expected, but it doesnt take any extra effort to hold a door open for someone, so why not?
The opening of the passenger side door for the date, is another thing. I think most girls are so used to getting out of the car themselves, that they no longer need to wait for the date to open their door. I dont ever remember my ex waiting for me to open the car door.
I think the perception of chivalry is steadily evolving to how the times are changing, not dying.