Monday, 10 August 2009
-
Follow-Up: I Thought Relationships Were About Compromise
I recently posted this blog about making compromises in relationships and as I was reading through the comments and I noticed that there were a lot of people saying things about our relationship with each other. The thing is, our relationship isn't based on looks alone. I know this for a fact because him and I are complete opposites. We have almost nothing in common. He likes to be outside, I love to be inside. He would prefer to double date with another couple, I prefer one on one time with him. I like romance movies, he likes horror. He loves meat and I'm an aspiring vegan. I'm a cat person and he's a dog person. The list could go on and on. The fact that we're opposites means that we can adventure and explore new things together, you know, open each others eyes.
I think that number one thing that we have in common.. is the fact they we love each other more than words can say and we plan to be together for as long as we can.
Our relationship isn't based on shallow things like the way one looks.
But just because we like something on the other person, makes us shallow? I beg to differ. Just because I wore eyeliner when he asked (I just didn't cake it on) makes me a selfish person? No. I wore makeup when he asked and I did not get a single thing out of it.
I want my boyfriend to dress properly, just because I said "form-fitting pants" doesn't mean that I want him to wear girl pants or skinny jeans. I'm asking him to wear slacks. (If you click slacks, it's a picture by the way. And it's a perfect example of how I'm asking him to dress.)
I'm not asking him to "to cut off his balls and let me keep them in a vile around my belt". I'm asking him to dress up for me, for my birthday and just on occasion, it would be nice. JUST LIKE it would be for me to wear the makeup he asks me to wear for him.
I know that there are much bigger and more important compromises to be made but for the time being, we're just taking things as they are. Not biting off more than we, as a couple, can chew.
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: wantneedhave@xanga
- About Me: I'm Kayle, I'll accept any adds, just request me and join me on my long trek to be that perfect thin. :) "Your only as tall as your heart will let you be, and your only as small as the world will make you seem."
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 2579 Comments: 0 61 View all posts by wantneedhave@xanga
Comments (18)
Would you really like it, though, if he was picking out a certain style of clothing for you to wear that you just didn't want to? It's a little different than your makeup example. Unless he dresses like a complete slob all the time, you might be pushing something that's unnecessary.
that slacks looks good! :)
I dont know many guys who would wear slacks like that, or maybe the guys in the pic just looks a littler too feminine...
See, i dont really have any sort of beef with anything you said. Essentially you want a guy who know's how to look presentable? And it kinda sounds like he likes the same thing out of you? Whats the harm in that? I mean, if you started to dictate what he wore, then that might be a bit of an annoying problem, but wanting him to wear clothes that fit him? I mean, that doesn't seem to worthy of a flame here. I dunno.. its always nice to know that the person cares enough about you, or the situtaion to look presentable, or heaven forbid try to look good for you y'know? Clearly, if you're in a committed relationship, you're now past the point of trying to constantly impress the person... but every now and again, its always appreciated when she throws on the nice dress (or whatever) ...and i'd have to imagine it would be just as appreciated that I throw on my nice pants and smell good y'know?
It's not about compromise. It's finding someone you can be 100% compatible with while being yourself, and not having to do anything you don't want to. And guess what? ..they'll still love every bit of it. You'll learn with time, trust me.
@presque_la@xanga - I agree, they should like you for who you are, they shouldn't make you change for them.
i remember someone once wrote on datingish that a relationship only lasts if the two people dont give up on each other at the same time. i think this fits in a smaller latter, no?
I like guys that dress properly... :D
But yeh I agree with @presque_la@xanga.
m..... i dun think i can giv a good enough comment... cuz u already hav a fact if ur mind...
so i think i can only agree... compromise is important (:
I... don't think I'd wear those slacks for anyone.
"to cut off his balls and let me keep them in a vile around my belt"----> LOL
You can't take the advice or comments on here too seriously.
Relationships are about many things, and comprise is included. What you are asking of him isn't much to ask for. What will happen if you ask for something of a greater value....time will tell.
Good luck.
I wouldnt be seen in public with those slacks on. Just saying.
I know I should read the other post first, but I'm tired and don't want to hahahaha! Anyway, wtf is going on? Basically he won't do you a favor when you do him one (makeup/slacks)? And people read this as a foundation of incompatibility or something, or they took sides?
Sounds like Datingish commenters had their heads up their butt. Sounds like some good old communication would solve this dispute between you two. I see no reason why two radically different people can't get along; it's not my thing, but yeah cool. Cheers.
If he caves in finally and wears those slacks in public... Kudos to you because that'll mean that you managed to get his balls after all. Seriously, I wouldn't go anywhere near pants like that... Even in private.
the thing is relationships arent about keeping score. you cant do something for someone only to get something back. dont be like i did this for you so now you have to do this. STOP KEEPING FUCKING SCORE.
@softaswater@xanga - That's what I wanted to say. It's about give and take, but not about keeping score.
This is strange.
Typically in human relationships, a human seeks to find a partner that is similar to one's self. That "opposite's attract" thing is a myth. If you have nothing in common, break up, you'll find someone more suitable. It sounds like you're holding each other back.
- Kunoichi
P.S: With pants like THOSE, you basically ARE telling him to cut off his balls and let you keep them in a vile around your belt...
Do yourself a favor and just break up with the fellow. If he can't compromise a simple thing or two, then he doesn't respect or love you. You don't have to be clone of eachother, but you two have nothing in common, not one thing that you like to do together. Love isn't built on sex and physical attraction alone... Just my 2 cents...